Frustration – What’s It All About Anyway?

Written on August 25, 2018 at 10:28 am, by Sandy Walden

Frustration – ugh!!

Image result for free smiley frustration

We all get wound up, ticked off, ready to blow our top… I can’t think of other cliche’s at the moment, but you get the idea. Frustration is a part of life.

Yep, it happens to me too. I’m a wee bit of a recovering Control Freak. Not nearly as controlling as I was in the past, but not totally over it either. I guess you could say that I’m in process. Ah, that feels better.

Come closer, settle in and I’ll tell you my story.

If you’re reading this blog, you likely know I have a website. www.SandyWalden.com. If you’ve visited the site recently, you are likely aware that it is in need of an update. An amazing, brilliant young man offered to re-do the site for me. But I decided that I needed to build the new site myself. This would enable me to update and change it as often as I had the inclination.

I did a search on Udemy.com, a site that I strongly recommend for amazing courses. I found one that promised to teach me to build my own WordPress site. The instructor is terrific. Clear and interesting. But I still found it p-a-i-n-f-u-l in the extreme to sit down and just do what I’m being told. I became grumpy, irritable, frustrated whenever this topic came up in a discussion. So, I decided to just ignore it for a while. Cause yeah, that will surely help.

Yesterday I felt as though it was once again time to tackle this project. Once again, I found myself frustrated beyond belief. This time I asked myself some questions.

Q – Why do I resist doing this work?

A – I really don’t want to do it alone!

Hmmm, that was a bit of a revelation. So, I sent out a message asking for someone to work with me on this project. Felt closer, still not quite right, but closer.

I received some very helpful suggestions and I decided to sleep on it. When I woke this morning, I had absolute clarity. I want a new website. I don’t want to build it myself. I do want to be able to make changes at a whim, all on my own. Now this feels good. I mean, really good.

Clarity is the antidote for frustration. At least in this particular instance. When we know what we are really feeling it can help us to discern what it is that we truly want and need. Sometimes it takes me a while to release the belief that I need to do everything on my own. To determine how much control I really want and need, and just what that might look like. As I said, it’s a process.

This morning, frustration has left the building. I find myself grateful for the irritation and grumpiness because without those feelings I would not have been able to get to clarity. And that my friends, feels so much better.

Stay tuned, the new site will no doubt be showing up very soon.

Image result for free smiley frustration

Namaste,

Sandy

 

The Towel – is it Code?

Written on August 13, 2018 at 9:17 am, by Sandy Walden

I went out to the patio early in the morning with my cup of coffee in hand only to discover a towel on the arm of my chair. An old stained towel, to be clear.

It’s standard operating procedure for my husband and me to spend a couple hours each morning out on the patio drinking coffee whenever the weather is fairly comfortable. Early in the morning, the world is rather magical. There is dew on the grass and the birds provide all the music. It’s a time that is special for both of us.

But yesterday was different, remember the towel I talked about a few lines up?

For the longest time, my hubby has laughed just a wee bit when I go walking through the dewy grass in the morning. I swear that the plants are calling to me and I feel a need to take my coffee cup and visit each of them. Saying good morning and encouraging them to be well. It’s okay if you think this is silly, I love it. What makes John chuckle is the fact that I return to the patio with grass clippings on my feet. And then the dance begins. You know, the hopping around, waving my feet in the air so that the grass will dry and fall off. After all, there is no way I’m going to walk back into the house to refill my cup with grass on my feet! This is pretty much the routine almost every morning. John has suggested remedies for this problem. Wait until the grass dries to take my stroll – not gonna happen. Keep a water bucket to rinse the tootsies off after my walk – nope, the toes still need to dry. How about a towel? – yeah, that would probably fix the problem… but still I don’t do it.

Yesterday, I went outside to find this old, stained but very clean towel on the arm of my chair. I loved it!

This about much more than a way to dry my feet and keep my kitchen floor clean. This was hubby’s way of saying loud and clear ‘I love you’. This is his way. He notices and takes care of things that matter to me or that makes my life comfortable or easier.

He’s not the guy who does big things. He’s never sent me flowers at the office or made public declarations of his affection. But he notices things and takes action.

Recently I got in the car and found that he had put a bottle of water in each of the doors of both cars. He doesn’t drink water when we are on the road, but I do. He was thinking of me. This was ‘I love you’.

Now don’t get me wrong. We’ve known one another for almost 40 years and there are absolutely plenty of things he says or does that make me crazy. If you’ve got five minutes and a cup of coffee, I’ll tell you all about it. Those things seem to come to mind very easily, very quickly.

If we’re not careful, it can be the crazy-making that we notice and focus on. This morning, I simply want to acknowledge and appreciate that those crazy-making traits are balanced by the heart-filling behaviors that are quiet and deliberate and very meaningful.

Yeah, that towel means a lot to me. It’s stained because he knows it would really bother me to keep a new towel outdoors for my feet. But it’s clean because he knows that is also important to me. He knows these things because they matter to me and he has decided that makes them important to him as well. That too is saying ‘I love you’.

Louis Armstrong says it so well in his song ‘It’s a Wonderful World’. He sings a beautiful line:

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They’re really saying I love you

 

What does someone you know say or do to let you know that you are loved? How are you expressing those feelings for others? You are loved.

As for me, that towel will stay right where it is for quite some time. And each time I wipe my feet, I will remind myself that this guy I’m still crazy about, loves me.

Namaste,

Sandy

 

 

The Acorn Journal: Messages from The Other Side, One Acorn at a Time…

Written on December 28, 2017 at 2:53 pm, by Sandy Walden

Hello, my friends,

Today’s message is incredibly personal. I’m sharing because this is something that I imagine all of us have dealt with or will deal with at some point in our lives. At the very least, it’s probably a point of curiosity and discussion. I’m talking about communication of some sort with someone who has died.

No, I’m not asking you to set aside your belief’s whatever they may be. I am simply asking you to consider having an open mind. To consider that perhaps, just perhaps someone who has left the planet earth is as close to us as our own heartbeats. Because I believe this is true.

My youngest son died seven years ago. Such a hard thing for me to wrap my head around, even now. I remember so very clearly having conversations with people almost immediately, about feeling confident that Mike was still around, in a very different way of course.

So, I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me when we began finding acorns at our lake home. It soon became very clear that these acorns were in fact, messages from Mike. I began keeping a journal of these occurrences and my thoughts and feelings when they were discovered. I needed to be sure that I wasn’t imagining things.

Time went on and these experiences have continued. This was both an intensely personal experience and something that I wanted to share with the world. When the time was right. Well, it feels as though the time is right and so The Acorn Journal: Messages of Connection from The Other Side, One Acorn at a Time… has now been published and is available on Amazon.

https://smile.amazon.com/Acorn-Journal-Messages-Connection-Other/dp/1544750749/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514493082&sr=8-1&keywords=the+acorn+journal+sandy+walden

This is my story and yes, it continues. Because life does not end when we take our last breath, it simply transforms. I hope that reading my story reminds you that those you love are with you. Always. I hope that you share your own story of connection with me. I would love to hear it.

Namaste,

Sandy

 

 

 

Prosperity Blessing

Written on August 9, 2017 at 8:09 am, by Sandy Walden

This was sent to me by a friend. It’s now saved on my Desktop and the first thing that I read when I open my computer. It feels very good, and so I wanted to share with you.

Namaste,
Sandy


A Prosperity Blessing

May you be blessed with an amazingly abundant day today!

May the clouds break and the heavens pour down upon you more joy, more love, more laughter and more money than you could have ever dreamed of.

May the sun shine its golden light of prosperity through every cell of your extraordinary body.

May you be cleansed today of any resistance or feelings of unworthiness that you may still be holding onto.

May your false illusions of doubt, fear and scarcity gently fall away like soft white feathers on a gentle breeze.

May you be willing, simply willing to allow the Universe to shower you with miracles today.

May the Angels wrap you in their shining wings of opulence.

May the fairies deliver you to their pot of gold at the end of a majestic rainbow.

May your eyes shine with the glorious truth of who you really are and may that truth uplift others in your presence to their own inner knowing.

May your ears hear the sound of perfection ringing in your soul. May you taste the deliciousness of every precious bite of life as your day unfolds moment by moment with amazing grace, heartfelt love and a bounty of magnificent money.

As this day ends, may you slumber wrapped in an exquisite blanket of enduring peace and profound gratitude.

And may the last words you speak today be Thank You.

Anonymous author

Are You Listening?

Written on May 2, 2017 at 1:53 pm, by Sandy Walden

We all have guidance. Some call it intuition, others say it is our angels, guides or higher self. Of course, there are those who say it is our subconscious. Perhaps all of these things come into play, but what I want to know is this;  are you listening to that guidance?

Perfect example. I can be a wee bit hard-headed. I’m working on it but facts remain facts. Last week I got in the car and headed into town with the intention of getting new eyeglasses. As I drove, something kept telling me to check in my wallet to be sure that my prescription was there. But I resisted. Actually, I did more than resist. It was as though there was an internal argument going on.

Guidance – Check the wallet, you will not find the prescription.

Me – I don’t need to check, where else would I have put it?

Guidance – Sigh, just check. Pleeeeeeeease. Otherwise, you will find yourself at the location and no prescription will be found. Hint, you might want to look in your computer case though…

Me – Nope. I don’t need to. Although I feel twinges about this and I sort of want to give in and check that wallet, I can’t think where else the prescription might be. Besides, I would need to turn around! That’s not gonna happen. I’m going to stick to my first intention.

Guidance – Okay, have it your way. But the prescription is not in your wallet. Might be in your computer case, but who am I to tell you?

As you have no doubt cleverly discerned by now, I got to the desk and after completely emptying out my wallet on the desktop, realized the prescription was not there. So, I got back into my car and began going home.

You guessed it, when I got in I found myself checking my computer case. Where of course, I immediately found the prescription.

Guidance – See, I told you so!

Yes, it seems that my inner voice is a bit of a smart Aleck at times. On the other hand, I absolutely had it coming.

Are you listening to your guidance? Those nudges that suggest you turn left rather than right. That fleeting thought that hints at calling someone. That imperceptible something, often indefinable that propels you to say or do something that you might not have otherwise. This is guidance.

We all have access. Most of us are quite aware that there is something helping us to make decisions. When we choose to ignore this guidance, we are often able to see how we might have benefited from making other choices.

Each and every time we do listen, we reinforce our connection, our trust. We further develop a relationship that benefits us.

So, do you want to be the person standing that the desk searching for your eyeglass prescription? Or, would you like to take a few deep breaths and consider that maybe, just maybe, there is guidance coming to you that is helpful? It’s really up to you.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

 

Are you Judging Your Bloom?

Written on April 25, 2017 at 11:47 am, by Sandy Walden

I spent some time walking around the gardens this morning. The early spring flowers are showing off their color and it’s fabulous.
When planted, many of these flowers were the smallest cuttings, some were planted as seeds or bulbs. Often so small as to be barely there.
They began to grow, nurtured by the sun, soil and rain. In the beginning, some may have said they didn’t have much to add to the garden. They needed time to mature. But they had promise, they existed and their presence was enough.
As time has gone on, each began to display their own unique beauty. Greenery that was shaped and colored differently from other plants. Even their short-lived blooms change from day to day. They are evolving as they mature.
It made me wonder if these plants ever doubted themselves… did they compare themselves to their more mature neighbors and find themselves lacking in some way? Were they ‘less than’ because they were still growing into their own magnificence?
As they bloom today, are they able to recognize and acknowledge the contribution they make to the gardens? Because each of these plants makes the gardens more complete.
A daffodil cannot be a lungwort, nor should it try! The phlox that is beginning to break ground has no need to compete with Asian iris, each has its own gifts that does not need to be compared to those of its neighbors.
None of these plants are ‘fakers’ or ‘impostors’ just because they are different than the other plants.  Each has it’s placed in the garden and is valued greatly for what it brings.
So, on this blooming day in spring. it’s my hope that you smile and acknowledge that you are really quite perfect just as you are.
Namaste,
Sandy

A Life Well Lived

Written on March 14, 2017 at 10:47 am, by Sandy Walden

He completed his earthly journey 5 years ago. But this isn’t about his death, this is about the life that he lived so very well. 

My dad, or as you may have known him, Art Raith entered the world in November of 1942. I’ve heard an awful lot of stories of his exploits as he was growing up, mostly good, always enthusiastic. I think if I had to use one word to describe him, that might be it. My dad had enthusiasm about just about everything.

Many memories have been surfacing recently, mostly silly or fun times. Like when he would come home from work with a fist full of kites early March. Determined that whether or not there was snow on the ground, March was the time of year for flying kites. So, he would put them together, my mom could always be counted on to find fabric to make the perfect tail. Then we would all head over to the neighborhood park to get these things in the air. So funny to watch this big man run across the grass holding on to the kite while yelling at one of us to ‘give it more line!’. Oh my gosh, it was fabulous! Inevitably at least one kite would wind up in a tree, but that too was part of the fun.

Remembering him setting up a bale of hay in the basement when we got bows and arrows for Christmas so that we wouldn’t have to go outside in the cold right away. Watching him with my own boys years later. Oh my gosh, it made me crazy sometimes! My boys could come in the house carrying a partially eaten sandwich and their Grandpa would simply pretend there was nothing in their hand. He would begin by asking them if their mom had fed the anything that day, or would they like for him to make them something special? You can guess what their enthusiastic response was each time.

We argued just like all families. He scolded or yelled, and boy, he knew the most impressive curse words. He controlled the television, sports were on endlessly. We talked about books, he was always interested in what each of us was thinking, doing, planning and he was more than happy to share his opinions. He loved to cook and was amazing. I bet all of us have a favorite or two. I easily recall the endlessly long games of Monopoly… what I wouldn’t give to play another game today. The long hours spent in the yard, doing nothing at all. Long and short, we all knew that we were loved. Without question. You knew you were loved.

So today, my heart is full. Gratitude and love have filled in all of the corners. And I’m remembering Pop. The picture that most often comes to mind for me is the one that I have shared. I swear he looks like a 6’1″ leprechaun. Pretty much perfect.

Today, I’m hoping that you take a few moments to think about someone you love, whether they are still with you on this planet or in spirit. Feel that love, go ahead and share it.

Namaste,

Sandy

 

 

 

Divine Intervention

Written on March 7, 2017 at 10:30 am, by Sandy Walden

Do you pray? Do you believe in God, The Divine, Spirit, Universe…whatever name or word you use to refer to that which I consider the Supreme Being. Me too. Do you also believe that this Creator also has beings called angels who are sent to help us? Yep, I’m with you there too.

Depending on what statistics you are looking at, between 50 – 75% of folks in the United States believe in angels and their loving assistance. How about you?

I’m fascinated by the subject of Divine assistance and the way it is received among different groups. When I work with clients, it’s pretty normal for clients to share about their spiritual beliefs. I feel honored that they do so.

So it makes me wonder, what are your thoughts and beliefs? Do you find that your life experiences are shaped by your beliefs or is it perhaps the reverse? No right or wrong here, just your own experience. It’s all valid.

This is always a fascinating subject for me. If we believe that we are not alone, that we have Divine guidance and assistance all along the way, are we reaching out for assistance? If not, why not? What would happen if we did? Ohhhh, that’s the real question, isn’t it?

What if I reach out for guidance, assistance, love, and support – and it doesn’t arrive? What if I don’t hear or understand or what if I just don’t listen? Then again, what if I do?

Why not give it a whirl? Go ahead and ask your angels and guides for their assistance. Then allow yourself to be open to receiving. This is when the most wondrous things begin to happen. Big and small. Perhaps you will find that your computer is running faster than normal, you might find that you feel calmer than normal. These would be examples of interaction that we don’t notice. These shifts may well be Divine interaction. So, I encourage you to notice. What is happening? Emotionally, physically, mentally. Remember, the signs may be the absence of what we are used to. Perhaps anxiety or worry is gone.

What’s right for you? Are you open to taking a step? Just think about it, how does that feel? Opening your heart to even consider the connection with Spirit is often the very first step, the most important step you can take.

Namaste,

Sandy

 

 

 

When Grieving – Become the Observer

Written on February 27, 2017 at 10:12 am, by Sandy Walden

On December 17, 2010, my son Mike ended his life on this planet. Yes, he died of suicide. And so began my journey. Walking the path of grief into healing.

Now this walk is not one that any of us have chosen. Many were hurled here without warning, those that did have warning were often overwhelmed before this all began. This sort of loss is complicated, traumatic. It’s sometimes hard to keep our focus and find our direction. Natural and normal human reactions.

When things are the most muddied and confusing, I find it can be tremendously helpful to step back. Sometimes quite literally! Remove myself from the thoughts, feelings, conversations, behaviors of myself and others. Become The Observer.

Imagine what the current situation (whatever it is) might look, sound and feel like to someone who knows nothing about what is happening. Perhaps someone from far, far away. With no history that connects to any of us, what would they see? Most of the time when I do this, I can easily imagine The Observer is aware of people who are in great distress. Doing the best they know how to do.

The one who is telling others what they should be feeling, or perhaps tells others that they don’t care? The Observer may become aware that this person is feeling confused about how to express their own fears about those who are also grieving. They may be judging their own behavior of the past very harshly.

The one who… fill in the blank. We don’t know what we don’t know. It’s as simple as that. We imagine that we know and understand what is happening within ourselves and everyone else as well, but the truth is that we can’t know all of these things, at least not as humans. It becomes easier for us once we recognize that reality.

The one who never sheds a tear? That some have decided is cold and unfeeling? Perhaps The Observer is able to see that this person is in such deep pain that they might fall apart if they let the tears begin…

Let your own tears fall. They are cleansing, healing. It’s okay. When the accusations come, let them go on by, remind yourself how much you always loved this person and always will. Feel the love. In the end, the love is all that matters.

The rest will heal. In time and with work, oh boy is it work. But it is work that is so worth it because you see as we continue to do the grief work, we heal and that helps us to feel that ongoing love more fully. To embrace gentle memories. To remember smiles, hands holding ours. The life we will always cherish and celebrate.

This exercise allows us to see or at least consider seeing things from the point of view of others. There have been more times than I can count that people I know love me, said awful things. They didn’t say those things to hurt me, they were expressing themselves as best they could at that moment, from their own vantage point.

Step back. Take a deep breath. Let some of the anxiety go. Of course, it’s easier said than done, it gets easier with practice. Once we are able to take that step back, and hold open the possibility that even those who are hurting us are really doing the best they can at this moment, we experience much less stress. In its place, a feeling of compassion for ourselves and others can emerge. You might be surprised how much easier stepping back gets with practice and more importantly and how your perspective enlarges.

Namaste,
Sandy

The Heavy Coat of Suicide Grief

Written on August 20, 2016 at 9:53 am, by Sandy Walden

 

A very wise woman I once knew described the grief associated with losing someone to suicide as a heavy coat. It went something like this.

Imagine walking along on path on a bright sunny day. Wearing the lightest of clothing, each step is easy. You feel strong, nimble.

Now imagine if someone just dropped a great big, soaking wet coat onto your shoulders. The coat covers you from head to foot. The hood hangs over your face and obscures your view almost entirely.  The sleeves are so long and heavy that it’s difficult to even lift your arms.  Each time you try to take a step you find yourself tripping because this coat is so big and heavy.

This coat of suicide grief is overwhelmingly large, oppressive and just so very heavy. Along with the weight that most experience when losing one they love, there are additional weights in the pockets of this coat of grief. Making the grief even heavier.

There is the stigma. So much painful stigma associated with suicide and the loss of a loved one to suicide. It’s not unusual for those who have lost someone to be worried about sharing the cause of death with others. There is frequently shame, guilt and blame attached. Additional weights in the pockets. Adding to the weight of this coat of suicide grief.

New suicide grief can feel very much like this coat of grief. For some, it is not only too heavy to walk well, but it can be almost impossible to sit or even consider standing.

Still, the coat is not one that can be removed by simply unbuttoning and shrugging off of your shoulders. Instead, each person who wears this coat of suicide grief must understand that this is now a part of their reality.

Safe, healthy grieving takes work! And yes, it absolutely is exhausting. One of the many reasons why so often one who is grieving simply feels worn out. That coat of suicide grief is enormously heavy.

Over time, and with safe, healthy ways to express this grief, that coat can become lighter. It helps to begin considering those weights in the pockets. Is it really reasonable to accept and hold on to stigma? Who does that benefit? Letting go of that stigma, refusing to own it lightens the coat enormously. This is much easier for some than others. A process.

Each of these weights is a burden. Is guilt really fair or reasonable? Is blame helpful in any way? On and on, one at a time. As each of the weights is taken out and examined the coat begins to feel a bit lighter. Not as heavily saturated. And something else is happening at the same time. The person wearing the coat is becoming stronger. Again, a little at a time.

Over time, with work and hopefully with strong support from others, something rather miraculous begins to happen. Healing. It can be so subtle at first that it’s not recognized. The one experiencing this deep grief may shift their focus from the manner and moment that their loved one died to the lives that they shared together. The memories of smiles, hugs, and joy.

And slowly, the one who is wearing this coat of suicide grief is able to sit up. Stand up. Take steps and walk. Even to run.

Some say that they will wear the coat of grief their entire lives. Perhaps that is so, or not. For each person who has worn the coat of suicide grief the experience is unique,  very individual.

Many are eventually able to take to coat off. It may be folded and put on a shelf, perhaps it is worn from time to time. But it no longer drags them to the ground all of the time.

Once again, the one walking the path is able to move forward. Rejoining life.

Namaste,

Sandy