Archive for July, 2011

Forgive and Forget – I Don’t Think So!

Saturday, July 30th, 2011

I’m all for the forgiving part, but as for the forgetting – not so much. Let’s walk through this just a little bit and I think you’ll understand my point.

When I forgive a hurt or a wound of some sort, I do it to release myself from further anguish. I forgive for myself, not for anyone else. For me it is often a very deliberate choice. I may decide that I’m tired of being angry, irritated, depressed and defensive. In other words, I’m tired of feeling crummy! When I’ve had my fill of feeding those emotions which I do not enjoy one little bit, I am ready to begin thinking about forgiveness. I know that when I do forgive, that I will be able to release those feelings that are dragging me down and that I’ll experience relief. That relief is healing.

So, I decide that I want to forgive so that I can feel better. The person I’m forgiving may or may not know about my decision and my feelings. Remember, this really is all about me. I want to feel better, so I forgive. I believe that when my energy changes to become lighter and more loving that the offender so to speak, benefits as well, whether they realize it or not. But primarily I am taking this step to forgive someone or something so that I feel better. Me, me, me!  This is taking good care of me and I deserve to feel good just because I am me, a child of God. Whew, that feels better.

The process of forgiving is simple for me and no, that doesn’t mean that it is always easy. But sometimes it is easy and that’s okay too. In fact, it totally rocks. Forgiveness is sometimes a very deliberate process, other times it simply happens a little at a time with little thought or deliberation. Either way it unfolds just about the same – for me. It begins with a decision that I want to feel relief, that I’m ready to stop feeding the pain, irritation and anger, all of that crummy stuff we talked about earlier. That leads me to begin looking for a blessing in the incident. Strange as that may seem, I believe that everything has a lesson and if I can find a lesson I can see it as a blessing. That allows me to begin releasing my pain and embracing the relief. Sort of like a balloon that is not popped, but has a slow leak, as I embrace the blessing I feel the pain ebb. Aaaaaah, that feels really good, and so forgiveness begins.

Now, about this forgetting stuff. That is a whole other kettle of fish my friend. After all, if each experience is a lesson of sorts, how is it helpful for me to completely and entirely forget about it? Makes no sense to me, because once I’ve experienced a specific wound I’m generally pretty much okay with not having another just like it. I’m hopeful that I learn not to put myself in such a situation again and if I forget all about the incident it seems that I’m much more likely to be hurt again and again and again. Now of course, you do what is right for you. As for me, I prefer to learn and move on.

From personal relationships to global tragedies this line of thinking works for me. No matter how small or how large. If we forget what brought about atrocities than we are likely to repeat the experience. If a friend has hurt me, I want to forgive that hurt so that I can move on feeling good, not being eaten up with anger or other general icki-ness. Whether or not I renew that friendship is another thing entirely. If it’s a friendship that I want to continue, I have the ability to learn and decide if it is to my own benefit to put myself in this situation again. The wound may have been unintentional, what can I learn from this? How can I move forward in a healthier manner? Perhaps the relationship has run its course. Forgiveness allows me to bless the time that was spent together and still release the relationship feeling good. But, and this is a great big but – I don’t want to forget the lessons learned.

There are tools that I use to support myself in this process. I find that Reiki not only balances my energy but Reiki also enhances my general sense of well being; of course. The flow of Reiki makes it much easier for me to move through these steps. Okay, let’s be very honest here, the Reiki just feels so darned good that I welcome it at any time. Coaching helps too, no doubt about it. Whether I work with another life coach, coach myself through the situation or remind myself of the steps that I use when I work with my life coaching clients. One step at a time, using the appropriate tool for that situation. Hypnosis is also really helpful to me as I work through my own issues. Dovetailing and very nicely complementing  the Reiki and life coaching. You see the life coaching allows me to become aware of what I prefer. The Reiki assists me in releasing negativity that is not serving me well. The hypnosis speaks to my sub-conscious, that incredibly cute but amazingly stubborn 4 year old that lives in my brain. Hypnosis speaks to her and reminds me that I don’t have to do anything that I don’t want to do. Because hypnosis speaks to my thriving subconscious it supports my choice,offering the reinforcement that it is not only okay but my choice to move in this direction. Now all of these tools have not always been available to me, and of course I was able to forgive then as well. But I’ve got to say, I find that having hypnosis,  Reiki and life coaching all in my little tool box assists me in the process. What works for you?

Forgive and forget if it feels right to you. As for me, I’m a project that is still in the works, still in the process of development. I’m still working on forgiving some people and events, but it’s coming along nicely and that offers me lovely relief. As for forgetting, I’m okay with the remembering. After all, once the pain is released the person, incident or event simply becomes a bit of history. Something I have learned from, something that has blessed me. And that makes it all worthwhile.

For this week, I wonder if you are ready to begin forgiving someone or something from your own life. How would it feel to release some of that pain or anger and welcome a bit of relief? It’s up to you of course, but I encourage you to give it a try. C’mon, you can do it. I know you can! When you’re ready.

Namaste,

Sandy

Life Coaching – All Together Now, Shift

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

I learned to drive in a 1970 VW Beetle with a stick-shift. It was beyond awesome! 

Anyone who has ever driven a stick-shift, or to name it more correctly, a manual transmission; knows that in order to prevent burning out the clutch, you learn to listen to the car, to feeeeeeeeeel when it is time to shift. Guess what? People come with the same sort of clues. When we work together, you as the client, me as the coachm you will be encouraged to listen to your own guidance. What do you hear? What do you feel?

As you learn to hear and feel what you really want, you will easily and quite effortlessly learn if and when it’s time to shift. Here’s the good part, it’s so much easier than learning to shift that Bug. You will hardly hear the grinding at all. 🙂

You can learn how to listen and feel the messages that are guiding you, really. As your coach, I will encourage you to listen for that special sound, feel that vibration that is your inner guidance. This will allow you to decide if it’s time to make a shift. As your coach, I will offer thoughts, ideas and suggestions. Mostly, I will encourage you to discover just how your intuition is guiding you. For instance, if you are feeling bad about a situation in your past, we might discover if you have learned anything from the incident. If you have gained something beneficial from a past incidence, that knowledge may allow you to see the past issue as something of a gift. That my friend is a shift. Some are big, some are small. They happen if you’re ready, when you’re ready and in just the way you prefer.

You might say that life coaching is all about shifts, you might be right or wrong. For you, the coaching experience may well be all about shifts, or it may be about moving forward in another manner. That’s part of the fun! The path that you take when you work with a life coach is all up to you.

This journey is yours. You call the shots. You decide if you would like to take a peek at your past and find ways to shift into a more positive frame of mind. You decide what you prefer to deal with and in what manner. Of course your coach, (yours truly) will have suggestions which you may accept. Or not. You get to decide what is discussed and what is not. How cool is that?

I’m also going to ask you to take a look at what is happening in your world right now, today, this very moment in fact. How are you looking at situations, happenings, events? It’s my job to help you discover possibilities. Pretty exciting stuff really. When you explore possibilities, you will be encouraged to listen to and feel that guidance that we talked about a few paragraphs ago. And then you will shift to a place of feeling better. If you want to, if you’re ready. Shifting to a place that allows you to see and feel new possibilities. Shifting is huge.

Alright, I admit that I sort of nut-shelled the entire life coaching experience. But if I were to nut-shell it even more, I might well say that the entire coaching experience is about shifting. Are you ready to shift?

This week, I encourage you to take a few minutes a day. Sitting quietly, allow yourself to tune into your own thoughts and feelings. What do you really want in life? What would you prefer? Then let’s talk.

Namaste,

Sandy

 

 

 

 

Mr. and Mrs. Blue Jay – Terrific Life Coaches!

Saturday, July 9th, 2011

I’m always amazed at the adventure that is waiting right outside my door. 

Up here at the lake, Indy doesn’t have quite the freedom he does in Milwaukee. As the yard isn’t fenced in and I don’t want to encourage him to seek his own adventure, he is on a rope when he’s outside. A few days ago, he was out sniffing around under the apple tree. As I watched, a couple of blue jays became incredibly agitated. One stayed up in the branches of the tree while the other began swooping closer and closer to Indy. Both were beyond chirping, but screeching louder and louder. Sweet old Indiana was oblivious, so after just a short time I coaxed him away. I saw a nest up in the tree and assumed that was what all the ruckus was about.

Fast forward a couple of days. John was walking outside and heard a high-pitched chirping near the tree. As he got closer he realized that there was a pair of baby jays huddled together on one side of the tree, and a lone baby bird on the other side, at the base of the tree. Again, Mr. and Mrs. Jay came screeching in, swooping and screaming, telling John in no uncertain terms that they wanted him outta there! John respectfully backed away.

Here’s where I want to talk about why I see Mr. and Mrs. Jay as fabulous life coaches. You knew I’d get to it at some point and I don’t want to keep you waiting any longer. 🙂 You see, I Googled baby blue jays because I was worried about the itty bitty birds. I learned that once they have their feathers they do indeed leave the nest and begin living on the ground. They continue to be fed and as we saw so clearly, protected by their parents. How awesome, delightful and terrifying is this?

Mr. and Mrs. Jay are trusting their off-spring to grow in the way that is best for them, that’s what a good life coach does as well. Mr. and Mrs. Jay are there, but in the background until needed. Your life coach is there for you, in the way you prefer, when you prefer. Mr. and Mrs. Jay are trusting that their offspring will learn to eat, fly and protect themselves, because they know they have the necessary instincts and that they are capable of learning as they grow. Their goal is to be independent and strong. You also have the ability to determine your goal and to move into it in the time and manner which is right for you. These baby birds are just like me and they are just like you.

When we work together, it’s not about me telling you what you should do, how you should behave, or what direction you should move. Oh no-no sirree! My job is to know that you have the ability and instincts already. However, I am ready, willing and very excited to coax you along; and cheer you long and loud when you leave your own nest. I suspect that’s what Mr. and Mrs. Jay did to get the babes out of the nest. I will ask you questions and we will talk, this is a cooperative effort after all. When you make a move that leads you toward your intended destination I will cheer for you. I don’t think I can reproduce the interesting sounds that come out of the blue jays, but I suspect that’s truly for the best anyhow.

Once again, I’m grateful for the lesson. Mr. and Mrs. Blue Jay have released the ‘shoulds’, trusting in the instincts and growing abilities of their off-spring. I will do my best to follow their example.

This week I encourage you to find your own backyard adventure. What is the lesson? Allow yourself to be inspired!

Namaste,

Sandy

 

Reiki – Is It A Religion?

Saturday, July 2nd, 2011

Nope, ’nuff said? Hmmm, perhaps it would be best if I elaborate just a little bit. 

Take a look at the beautiful trillium growing amongst the leaves. The flowering plant is indeed a living thing, it is energy. That’s what Reiki is, energy. Plain and simple. Well, not too plain and simple or this blog would be over and we would all understand just the point I’m trying to get across.

When we talk about Reiki, we define it as Universal Life Force Energy. It flows with our intention, calming and balancing our body, mind and spirit so that we are able to release, relax and heal. While I suspect that most of us do indeed consider this a spiritual event, it seems to me that the energy flows just as well for the atheist. After all, energy is energy and flows regardless of where we believe it comes from or how we explain its existence.

I have electricity in my house, that electricity or energy allows my lap top to operate and that allows me to share my thoughts about Reiki with you in this blog. Do I believe that this energy comes from God, Universe, Source or Creator? Yep, it just so happens that I do. However, I have a very dear friend who is ‘knows’ in his heart that my belief in a deity is a way to comfort myself, he considers it a myth. Turns out that the electricity flows in his house just as well. In the same way, I believe that the energy that we call Reiki does come from my Creator, use whatever name you prefer, I don’t think he/she minds a bit. I am simply a channel for this energy, it flows with my intention. Feels pretty darned good too.

This lovely flow of Reiki energy happens regardless if I am Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim or any other religion. Oh yeah, it’s important to note here that the Reiki energy also flows for those who are of no faith as well. Reiki is energy. Doing its job, completely independent of where I think the Reiki energy originates. How fabulous is that? 🙂

My belief regarding how the trillium grows, why electricity works, or indeed where the Reiki comes from is not an issue, at least for me. So, while I continue to feel that offering Reiki, accepting Reiki, simply thinking about Reiki is a spiritual experience. Reiki is absolutely not a religion. Reiki, along with all of these other wonders, exists. I see, enjoy and experience all of these things in one way or another each and every day. Reiki and all of these wonders that are made up of energy enhance my life in marvelous, wondrous ways. I am deeply grateful. That’s good enough for me.

Namaste,

Sandy

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