Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category

The Towel – is it Code?

Monday, August 13th, 2018

I went out to the patio early in the morning with my cup of coffee in hand only to discover a towel on the arm of my chair. An old stained towel, to be clear.

It’s standard operating procedure for my husband and me to spend a couple hours each morning out on the patio drinking coffee whenever the weather is fairly comfortable. Early in the morning, the world is rather magical. There is dew on the grass and the birds provide all the music. It’s a time that is special for both of us.

But yesterday was different, remember the towel I talked about a few lines up?

For the longest time, my hubby has laughed just a wee bit when I go walking through the dewy grass in the morning. I swear that the plants are calling to me and I feel a need to take my coffee cup and visit each of them. Saying good morning and encouraging them to be well. It’s okay if you think this is silly, I love it. What makes John chuckle is the fact that I return to the patio with grass clippings on my feet. And then the dance begins. You know, the hopping around, waving my feet in the air so that the grass will dry and fall off. After all, there is no way I’m going to walk back into the house to refill my cup with grass on my feet! This is pretty much the routine almost every morning. John has suggested remedies for this problem. Wait until the grass dries to take my stroll – not gonna happen. Keep a water bucket to rinse the tootsies off after my walk – nope, the toes still need to dry. How about a towel? – yeah, that would probably fix the problem… but still I don’t do it.

Yesterday, I went outside to find this old, stained but very clean towel on the arm of my chair. I loved it!

This about much more than a way to dry my feet and keep my kitchen floor clean. This was hubby’s way of saying loud and clear ‘I love you’. This is his way. He notices and takes care of things that matter to me or that makes my life comfortable or easier.

He’s not the guy who does big things. He’s never sent me flowers at the office or made public declarations of his affection. But he notices things and takes action.

Recently I got in the car and found that he had put a bottle of water in each of the doors of both cars. He doesn’t drink water when we are on the road, but I do. He was thinking of me. This was ‘I love you’.

Now don’t get me wrong. We’ve known one another for almost 40 years and there are absolutely plenty of things he says or does that make me crazy. If you’ve got five minutes and a cup of coffee, I’ll tell you all about it. Those things seem to come to mind very easily, very quickly.

If we’re not careful, it can be the crazy-making that we notice and focus on. This morning, I simply want to acknowledge and appreciate that those crazy-making traits are balanced by the heart-filling behaviors that are quiet and deliberate and very meaningful.

Yeah, that towel means a lot to me. It’s stained because he knows it would really bother me to keep a new towel outdoors for my feet. But it’s clean because he knows that is also important to me. He knows these things because they matter to me and he has decided that makes them important to him as well. That too is saying ‘I love you’.

Louis Armstrong says it so well in his song ‘It’s a Wonderful World’. He sings a beautiful line:

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They’re really saying I love you

 

What does someone you know say or do to let you know that you are loved? How are you expressing those feelings for others? You are loved.

As for me, that towel will stay right where it is for quite some time. And each time I wipe my feet, I will remind myself that this guy I’m still crazy about, loves me.

Namaste,

Sandy

 

 

Thanks for the Blue Water

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

We’re all familiar with the line ‘little things mean a lot’. I think that’s true, little things are very important. Small compliments make us feel warm inside and leave us smiling for hours, sometimes days.

We have three grown sons. One of them sold his condo last spring and has spent most of the time between then and now traveling, working from his laptop where ever he may be at the moment. He has recently come back to town for a visit and has been staying with us. During this time we have of course tried to do what we can do make him feel at home. Nothing major, his favorite peanut butter cookies made with crunchy peanut butter, his favorite meals now and then and of course there’s the blue toilet water. When he was a little boy he was always so excited when I would use the blue toilet bowl cleansing tablets, so I’ve been using them again since he came home. Apparently, he noticed and really appreciated this because he came up to me one day, gave me a big hug and said ‘thanks for the blue water, I love that!’

Every time I think about that comment, hug and grin it makes me feel warm and I know that I’ve got a silly grin on my face. I appreciate that he made it a point to tell me about his excitement. It’s motivated me as well. When I think about his comment it reminds me that it doesn’t take much to lift someone’s spirits. What a wonderful, easy way to make myself and others feel better. How cool is that?

As a life coach, I encourage you to take positive action. Keep in mind how little things, small kind gestures, friendly smiles and genuinely friendly comments affect you. Then take the opportunity to pass along these gestures, smiles, and comments to others. They’ll feel good, you’ll feel good. I do believe that’s a win for all. And if I may make a suggestion, you might want to try the blue water to get even more smiles.

Wishing you a fabulous day, filled with little things that make you smile.

Namaste,
Sandy

Be a Kid Again

Saturday, November 1st, 2008

It turns out that our kids are always teaching us lessons. All three of mine are now grown and in fact the eldest is married. Each of them has been on their own since he was eighteen years old, they have responsible jobs, and if you would meet any of them one on one you would have an impression of average young men. But when they are all together, they resume the roles they had when they were all less than 10 years old. It’s a hoot!

My husband and I joined them at our place at the lake yesterday, the place where everyone can just completely relax and have fun. As soon as they heard us arrive, I heard one of them call out Indy’s here! Yes, they really were more excited to see the dog than their Dad and me, that’s okay, he was incredibly, silly happy to see all of his kids too.

As soon as we got in the house the stories began. Each one-upping the ante just a bit when it came to his turn to get a word in edgewise. For some reason, the lampshades were all slightly askew and I actually asked how in the world lampshades on standing lamps got knocked awry. Silly me. It didn’t take long for the story-telling and needling each other to move on to a bit of nudging one another as they walked around. Oh yeah, that’s how the lampshades get in that condition! How in the world had I forgotten? They teased one another and had the dog running from one to the other for what seemed like forever. In short, they all acted like they were little boys again.

Two of them took Indy for a walk so that Indy could see the beautiful Wisconsin autumn. When they returned, another enticed Indy into a game of chase. They ran up and down the hill, hiding and then pouncing when the other came into view. The third boy was hanging out with his Dad, puttering with the boat as they got ready to put it away for the winter. Too much chattering and laughing was heard for it to have been efficient, but they got the job done.

Later they discovered the games that have been on the shelf in the family room for the four years that we have been here. I heard one yell ‘We have Battleship and Scrabble!’ the others came running. From there on I heard good-natured accusations of cheating, shouts of surprise and not just laughing, but giggling as they tried to out-smart each other. No one was exempt, our daughter-in-law was in the middle of it all and even my husband was trying to make up words for Scrabble.

I want to thank all four of our kids (yes, we consider our beautiful daughter-in-law to be one of our kids now) for reminding us to relax, let go and have fun. They are all responsible adults in their day jobs, but when they are together they remember to enjoy each other and laugh. Simply laugh. Once again, I have been reminded that most of us have amazing life coaches in our lives; we just need to look around and pay a bit of attention.

So just for today, I suggest that you take a trip down memory lane. Try to remember that fabulous feeling of laughing and giggling. Remember the mud smooshing through your toes on a warm spring day, the feeling of flying a kite, playing in a leaf pile or making a snowman. Whatever it is that makes you feel like a happy kid again. Please take a few minutes, close your eyes and try to recall all of the delightul details… let yourself feel the happiness, the smooshy mud, the cool breeze, the warmth of the sun on your face as you lay in the grass and watched clouds float by. And then, let yourself go, allow yourself to chuckle, grin, laugh and giggle.

I wish you a fabulous day recalling happy memories and making new memories to recall in the future.

Namaste,
Sandy

Who Knew?

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Good or kind deeds. If we give it some thought we might think of the Boy Scout offering to help the elderly lady across the street. That qualifies! 

Do you know what these deeds accomplish? So much more than you may immediately realize. When a good deed is done the serotonin levels rise, this is the happy chemical in the brain and the immune system is strengthened. Who does this happen to? Who reaps these amazing benefits? The recipient as we may well expect, but also the person who is offering the kindness.

Wait! It gets better!!! Not only do the recipient and receiver realize these valuable boosts but every single person who observes the kindness also gets this amazing boost.

Now, this may well be the Boy Scout and the elderly lady, but it can be any kindness or good deed. Helping the small child to tie his shoes, offering a hug to someone that is down, picking up someone’s keys when they’ve dropped them, or of course paying college tuition for a total stranger would also qualify.

So, in this hurried world, take time to offer kindnesses, small deeds. We all reap the benefits.

Wishing you a fabulous day, noticing and appreciating kindness and good deeds.

Namaste,
Sandy