Let Your Hands Do the Talking

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

Do you ever suspect that your body knows things that your head isn’t in on? I’m going to assume that you are sitting there, nodding your head because now you know this happens to everyone. If not, please give me a bit more time and see how this feels to you.

As you well know by now, I’m a fan of taking time to meditate, trying to find quiet moments to listen to your heart and soul. What that looks like for one person may be very different for another. What most may think of as meditation, sitting quietly while listening to the silence, quiet music or even guided meditation helps me to learn a lot about myself, but I often have a difficult time quieting my mid to actually ‘hear’ my soul. Not to worry, there are alternative and complementary options available.

How about writing? I suggest you give yourself anything from a few minutes to a few hours, everyday if possible to simply write. It doesn’t have to be anything specific, if you don’t have anything you would care to write about, you may simply write your name, the ABC’s, or even ‘I don’t know what to write, but I’m going to see what comes out of my pen.’ Write for as long as you feel comfortable. There are those who say you should write three pages each and every day, without fail. I don’t personally feel as though I can say you ’should’ do anything of the sort,  however, I know that when I do allow myself to write I learn some pretty surprising things about myself.

Recently I have found myself encouraging each and every one of my life coaching and MasterMind clients to write. Clearly my heart wants me to return to the practice and I do like company.  Why? Because when I do take the time to write I discover things about myself that I may or may not want to know. I have discovered anger that I had not been previously aware of on a conscious level.  Not only did the daily writing allow me to know and feel the anger, it also allowed me to process and release the anger in a much less painful way than I may have experienced otherwise. Writing has also allowed me to very recently re-discover a strong desire that I had pushed to the back of my mind long ago, sure that it could not happen. Of course if you know me, or work with me as a Reiki or life coaching client, you know that I encourage you not to worry about how something will come to be, simply to think about what and how you would like your life to look.

Writing may reveal many things to you. A few of my favorite people come immediately to mind. They are never without a pad of paper and a pen. Writing down thoughts as they occur, bits of things others may say, nudges from their heart or mind. Sometimes they refer back to these notes, often they discard them. The important thing is that they allow their hands to reveal bits that they may not necessarily mentally process on a conscious level.

I’m back to writing. It’s just for me and it feels very good. I appreciate that it’s a way for me to review what is happening in my life, a way for me to process events, good and bad, discover new thoughts and ideas. It turns out that I’m much more creative and less judgmental of my ideas when I use this process. I’m learning and appreciating things about myself. How cool is that?

This week I encourage you to write, write, write. Without expectation, without restrictions, let it flow.

Warmly,

Sandy

Reiki Yesterday, Reiki Today, Reiki Tomorrow

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

I’m very grateful to have Reiki in my life.  I use Reiki daily; it just seems so natural to me now.

I came to Reiki at the gentle prodding of my son Jeff. As a young man in his early 20’s he tried Reiki primarily to prove to himself that there was nothing to it. He was currently going to school, working a full time job and of course was also an entrepreneur growing his own business as well. In short he was exhausted and extremely stressed. One session with a Reiki practitioner and he was hooked. Before long he was insistent that I give it a try as I had a few issues myself.

Here I am a few short years later. Not only do I give myself Reiki every day, my dog receives Reiki daily as do my loved ones. Sometimes I’m able to offer Reiki to them in person, but most actually receive distance Reiki. I’m grateful to be able to offer Reiki to my clients as well. Of course some come into my office for their Reiki session but others are open to receiving Reiki from a distance. It’s not at all unusual to feel the Reiki begin to flow during my weekly MasterMind, meditation sessions and often during life coaching sessions. When I feel it I simply let the participants know that I feel it flowing and ask their kind permission.

Still I’m reminded on a regular basis that even those closest to me sometimes don’t understand why I’m offering them Reiki. My youngest sister recently asked me why I offer her Reiki, after all she’s not currently sick and told me that she thought Reiki was primarily to heal one if they are in pain or physically ill. I’m so grateful that she asked about Reiki again, even though we have of course had conversations about Reiki often in the past. It gave me the opportunity to explain to her one on one, that while Reiki does of course offer very gentle healing when one is ill, Reiki always supports our best health as Reiki serves to bring us into balance on all levels. I explained that Reiki helps us to release what no longer serves our highest good, while offering us energetic balance on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels.

One of the most important points that I strive to make clear to those new to Reiki as well as to those who experience Reiki on a regular basis is that Reiki can do absolutely no harm. I will never, ever suggest to anyone that Reiki is a substitute for medical attention, but rather that Reiki is a wonderful complement. For instance, if I develop a headache when I’m out in the sun for hours, I do a few things all at once. I drink a glass of water, and depending on the severity of the headache I may or may not take an aspirin, but I will most definitely give myself Reiki. My thought is that the headache may be because of dehydration, or it could be a reminder to release stress of some sort. The Reiki will address the cause of the stress and if I’m ready to be in balance again, I will achieve that balance and will feel better.

Will Reiki heal someone of their pain? Perhaps, however it’s very important for me to remember that Reiki is not mine to control. Reiki may well alleviate or eliminate the pain of someone who is on my table, that is often the result. It’s also been my experience that someone I have offered Reiki to may still have pain. My Dad is a prime example. A quadriplegic for 36 years he is often in intense pain. When I visit of course I offer him Reiki. He has told me that after receiving Reiki the pain is eased, but not eliminated. I don’t question the pain that remains but I do offer my gratitude for the relief that he experiences from Reiki. I have no way of knowing how the pain serves him or to what purpose he uses the Reiki, but I trust that the Reiki is bringing him into balance in the way that serves his highest good at the moment.

For now and in the future I will continue to give myself Reiki, I will offer it to family, friends and clients as I know how much better my life is with Reiki. My spiritual faith is stronger, my mind is clearer, my emotional and physical well being all are improved when I give myself Reiki on a regular basis. So, I offer gratitude that I have experienced Reiki in the past, I will most definitely share Reiki today and I’m excited to share Reiki with others tomorrow.

This week I wish you all the blessings that I know Reiki can bring into your life.

Namaste,

Sandy

New Friends

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

My husband and I just returned from our first cruise, it will definitely not be our last! We enjoyed everything about it, the beautiful islands we visited, the incredible ship we sailed on, the terrific entertainment on the ship and of course the food which seemed to be in abundant supply and around every corner. But if I had to say what we enjoyed most it would be the people we met.

When John made the reservations for this trip, we didn’t know what to expect. We knew there was a dining room with a set seating plan and that we would have the opportunity to enjoy our dinners in this lovely room every evening if we chose to do so.  After chatting with others who are much more experienced travelers, we selected the option of dining with several other couples as opposed to only one other couple. The rationale was that if we didn’t really get on with one or two of the folks, we could easily swap seats to have a pleasant time with people we got along with a bit better.  Well, that sure didn’t happen.

We were seated at a table for ten. Now I like and get along easily with most people, but I could not have expected that I would come to really like all of these people. Well, I did, how cool is that?

There was a real mix, people from all walks of life. Teachers, a farmer, an engineer, a salesman, home-makers, an accountant, fire-fighter and of course me, your friendly life coach and Reiki master/teacher. Quite the blend. Most were retired, some had gone back to work part time. John and I were the only people there who claimed to still work full time. All were world travelers except again for us; they shared their wonderful experiences with true generosity and great humor.

It didn’t take long for us to really begin to look forward to dinner time, and not just for the food. Ms. Virginia quickly began the habit of asking everyone to go around the table and share what they did during the day. It was such fun; the stories were colorful and entertaining to say the least. Since our table was so large it wasn’t unusual for smaller conversations to take place as well. We moved our seats around most evenings so that we all had the opportunity to really get to know our new friends. Our friends gave us great tips about visiting the islands, sharing stories of what they had done in the past and what they had learned in their travels.

We found that we had an awful lot in common. How is that possible? William and Virginia hail from New Brunswick, Canada and have traveled extensively due to his position as an engineer. They told wonderful stories about countries I have only heard of in the past. George and Mary now live in Arizona, they too have great stories and they share jokes that made me laugh so hard I cried. Peg and Roger split their time between their farm in Ohio and their lovely home in Tennessee. I don’t remember the last time I saw a couple so clearly devoted to one another and still able to tease and laugh so easily. Each day we heard about the tour they took and somehow they always got a tour that offered rum punch – I really should have spent more time with them! Les and Cathy live in California and from the stories I’ve heard Les has world class gardens, he refers to them as his hobby. Somehow, even though all came from different walks of life we found that we had an awful lot to talk about and share each evening. John and I were always delighted when we would meet some of our new found friends during an excursion or while walking around town. Each meeting just got better and better.

My normally shy and very quiet husband talked to these people as though he had known them for years. I’ve known John for 30 years and I can tell you, that never happens! These newfound friends put John so at ease that he laughed and joked, told stories and never once felt self-conscious about any of it, just one more reason why I’m grateful to have met these folks.

It’s pretty interesting to me when I look back at this experience. While I do like meeting new people and making acquaintance it’s unusual to meet people that I consider friends this quickly. Some of them already feel like old friends and I’ve known them for less than 2 weeks. Color me grateful.

Is there a life coaching or Reiki lesson here? Probably, but I’m pretty relaxed and not really looking for lessons at the moment. I’m simply happy and grateful and looking forward to meeting these wonderful friends again soon.

My wish for you this week is that you meet someone new who quickly becomes an old friend. It’s pretty unusual but very special.

Warmly,

Sandy

Retreat – It’s All About You

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

I am silly excited about the retreat that is coming up. From Friday, February 5th – Sunday, February 7th. Ladies, you are invited to participate.

This weekend is really dedicated to you. An opportunity to relax and put the focus on what you want and need. This retreat will be held at Shalom House, located in the lovely Kettle Moraine area. Spending time with other women, you will have the opportunity to listen to your heart and to hear what your soul is trying to say to you.

We will offer many opportunities to you, but remember, the choices are all yours. You may experience a personal Reiki session, or PSYCH-K, join in guided meditation or yoga. Supplies will be available to create your own vision board as well and of course every conversation will have a bit of life coaching involved. There are plenty of quiet places to take a nap, enjoy your own thoughts, read a book , write in your journal or even take a walk in the beautiful woods.  It’s all up to you.

I am honored to be co-hosting this event with life coach Melissa Heisler. Melissa co-hosted the November retreat with me and it was powerful beyond what either of us could ever have expected.

Please join us,

Sandy Walden
Serenity, Holistic Life Coach and Reiki Master

Melissa Heisler
It’s My Life. Personal and Business Coach

Choose Happy

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

A few days ago a man that I greatly respect, Hamid Sean Farjadi asked a  question, ‘Happiness. Where does it come from? Does it ‘just happen’? Do you create it?’ Sounds like a simple enough question on the surface, but it bears thinking about.

For some of us happy comes very easy. Frankly, I don’t like being un-happy, it simply does not feel good for me. When I’m down, or even mildly depressed I find that I get headaches, which makes me grumpy and hard to live with. For me it’s almost always a very deliberate and conscious decision to feel better. I will listen to music that makes me feel better, think of a wonderful event in my life or spend some time with my dog. Each and every one of these things is guaranteed to move me up on the emotional scale, a notch or two makes a huge difference. Smiling when I don’t feel like it also makes me feel better. Before long I wind up happy. I think I’m just wired that way.

What if your wiring is different? A definite possibility. For some people feeling and being happy doesn’t seem to feel as easy and natural. I certainly understand that sort of personality. I see Reiki and life coaching clients who tell me that it is more natural for them to feel less happy or even down.  In no way do I believe that they are doomed to be unhappy.

Reiki helps so much to release negativity and increase healthy energy flow. As one releases negativity it is on all levels, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Feeling better can help us to take a step up on that emotional scale that I spoke about earlier. Can you move from very unhappy to happy? Maybe, but it’s much more likely that you will incrementally feel relief, and that relief can lead to happiness.

Meditation is a wonderful tool. Anything from a few minutes to a few hours a day or as often as you feel called to spend in meditation can make a real difference in your life. When we take time to quiet our mind and listen to our soul it allows us to understand a bit better how we want to move forward with our lives. This is a very useful tool to release and move through ’stuff’. Again, for some people this is a very easy process, for others it’s a struggle. I know so many people who are able to put themselves in a deep meditative state very quickly. They find this not only helpful but absolutely essential to their well-being. For me, it’s much different. My mind flits around and resists being quieted; I need to indulge in active gardening or a like activity to reach that state. Still, I still spend at least a short time everyday in meditation but it’s generally a very different experience for me. That’s okay! It’s very beneficial and I always feel calmer and a bit happier after I’ve done it. Here’s that word happy again.

I believe that happy is a deliberate choice on many levels. There are more tools to improve our level of happiness that I can even begin to address in this short message. What makes you feel good? Exercise, quiet time with a family member or friend, maybe it’s dancing, if it works for you, it’s valid.

I encourage you to spend a few moments thinking about how you feel right now. If you make the conscious choice to be happier how does that affect you? Try it and see how it feels. None of this is cut and dried. As human beings we are endlessly complicated and fascinating. That’s very exciting, it means that we have lots of possibilities and so much more potential that most of us have ever thought about, including the potential to be happy.

This week I hope you spend a little more time being happy.

Warmly,

Sandy

Please Be Patient, My Dog is Still Training Me

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

I’ve lived with animals my entire life. For some reason I keep forgetting that the training process is on-going. Hmmm, for the record, that means my training, not necessarily theirs.

I grew up always living with a dog. From time to time we also had other animals, birds or turtles and I will never forget my wonderful horse Barney, big blue eyes and sweet personality. For some reason during all of those years I was convinced that I was training these companions. Yeah, right.

Boxers have been my buddy of choice since I have become an adult. First there was the unforgettable and most dignified Rocky. Followed by the very undignified, joyful clown of the dog world, Rascal. Now I live with Indiana, or Indy who makes it clear to me on a daily basis that this training stuff is not even close to being over.

Anyone who has ever met Indy has generally commented on his sweet demeanor and very nice manners. It turns out that it was all a scam. I didn’t train this boy at all; he’s been training me for more than five years. And he’s doing a pretty good job of it; at least I think he is.

Indy recently suffered his second stroke. Actually, I’m not at all sure that ’suffered’ is the right word to use as this boy doesn’t seem to be suffering at all. He now tilts rather dramatically to the left and stumbles quite regularly, especially on the vinyl floor, but he has adapted very well. And he’s training me  to adapt right along with him.

This smart boy waits for me when he reaches a step. If I don’t notice right away, he will sit there and either make little dolphin squeaks or Chewbacca noises, they seem to be used interchangeably so I can’t say why he chooses one over the other. Once he gets my attention, he starts butt wiggling and waits for me to grasp his collar to walk down the stairs. This way he is avoiding any more falls. One smart boxer boy!

Apparently, Indy is also feeling the chill in the air much more than he used to. He will curl up on the edge of  his large comforter and wait for me to cover him up, usually tucking his snout down into the blankets as well. For some reason Indy doesn’t seem to feel that my husband or son need as much training, or perhaps he has decided they are not capable of being trained as he doesn’t seem to do these things for them.

More proof that my training isn’t finished? Indy keeps reminding me that I owe him some one on one time, whenever I return home. The guys will tell me that he has been happily curled up into a ball for hours, but as soon as I come home he begins to act as though he is losing his mind. Doing the boxer kidney-bean, making all of his favorite sounds he calls me into the family room. This continues until I sit on the floor. He then promptly curls up with me, waits to be covered up and the snoring commences. I usually feel the Reiki begin to flow immediately. I’m convinced that Indy is very aware that I am able to offer him Reiki and he knows that Reiki offers him healing energy and support.

This could go on and on. The way Indy has trained me to offer him a treat when I want him to come in, rather than simply calling him. He sits in front of me and offers unconditional love with those big chocolate eyes to get his ears rubbed. It’s really an endless story.

Animals are so much more intelligent than many of us give them credit for. They watch, learn and adapt to situations quickly and adeptly. No time is wasted on remorse or recriminations, they simply move on. Learning how to make the best of the situation they are in and generally training the humans they live with along the way.

I try to keep this in mind when I’m working with life coaching clients as well. Facts today are simply what they are, period. How do we cope with the moment and bring about the results we desire? If we learn from the animals I have lived with, we will achieve better results, if we focus on what we want to happen, and then try our best to communicate this to ourselves, those who are around us and have the ability to affect our lives and the universe in general.

How does this apply to people, cause you know it does right? We are constantly teaching others how to treat us. How do we respond when someone is kind, negligent, friendly, rude, helpful, etc? Our response teaches or trains others that certain behaviors are acceptable or not. We teach others to treat us with kindness or contempt depending upon our expectations and on our response to their treatment. I try to keep this in mind when I’m working with life coaching clients as well. If we learn from the animals I have lived with, we will achieve better results, if we focus on what we want to happen, and then try our best to communicate this to ourselves, those who are around us and have the ability to affect our lives and the universe in general.

No doubt Indy has much more to teach me. Just yesterday he convinced me to move his food to an area that is much easier for him to eat. It seems that the training will continue. I’m grateful that Indy is a patient trainer and of course he always rewards me with snuggles, very sweet.

This week I encourage you to focus on training. What you are teaching and what you are learning. Awareness will allow you to fine tune and embrace that which is important to you.

Warmly,

Sandy

You are an Energy Super Hero

Saturday, December 12th, 2009

I was reminded by a wonderful gentleman the other day of the power we have over one another. Pull out your super hero cape; you’ve got the power too.

Did you ever go into a room and know that something very unpleasant was going on, even before anyone said a word? Perhaps the room felt tense or just generally unwelcoming as you entered. You were feeling the energy of at least one person in that room, possibly that of everyone in that room.

Alternately, do you know someone who just makes you feel silly happy to see them? Most of us know at least one person like that; we are truly blessed if we know many. These people share their loving energy as naturally as you and I breathe.

Sounds like super powers to me. You have this power as well. Experiment a bit if you don’t believe me. Go into a room and smile; deliberately think of sharing loving ‘vibes’. Most likely you will quickly notice that others are smiling back. Probably approaching you, offering hugs or handshakes. You are sharing your loving energy and infecting others with it. Wahoo!!! You are using your super powers whether you are wearing the cape or not.

You do this innately. But here’s the cool part. Now that you are conscious of this ability, you can be very deliberate about it as well. Naturally, I encourage you to use this power for good, not evil.

Take a moment before you enter a room, answer a phone call or start a conversation. Consciously align your thoughts to the vibes you want to give out. If you want to be cheery, recall a happy thought, notice that feeling, intend to share that energy with those you are about to speak with and put a big smile on your face. It will come through loud and clear. If it’s your intention to spread calm, take a few deep breaths; remember a place or occasion that made you feel calm and content. Hold on to this feeling and intend to share it with others. You’re on!

The gentleman that I spoke about earlier has come to realize this power in a very profound way. I applaud him for recognizing and wanting to share this with others. He now makes a very conscious point of starting conversations with a smile and asking for the other person to share something good that has happened to them today. I love that! He’s automatically releasing any thoughts or feelings of negativity, asking for and giving thoughts of happiness or joy.  He’s not only feeding his own sense and feeling of well-being, but he is sharing that same gift with others at the same time. Well done my friend!

This awareness strikes me on all levels, particularly professionally. As a Reiki master, I always encourage my clients to deliberately release any negativity they no longer need and to allow themselves to accept  positive energy as they are ready. As a Reiki teacher I encourage my students to develop awareness of their own energy so that they offer only healthy, positive energy to others as much as possible. Of course any of my holistic life coaching clients hear the same thing.   These energy shifts may be subtle, but they influence our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Powerful stuff.

I encourage you to consciously put on your cape every day. Take a few moments to think about what you would like to project to others as well as what you hope to receive from your interaction with others.  See what happens. Make a few mental notes, and notice that the more deliberate you are about sharing love, compassion and joy the more you receive of the same.  I’m willing to bet that you will very soon realize just how much you are able to positively influence the outcome of every situation. Intend to share, focus on those thoughts and feelings, notice the results, offer gratitude and begin the process all over again.

Try this for a day or two, I bet you’ll be hooked. I hope so. Then go on, share the secret with someone else. You’ll be giving them their very own super hero cape.

Warmly,

Sandy

My Life is Soup

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

I got up this morning and had a taste for good veggie soup. Yummy. So I got on the Internet, found a couple of dozen recipes that sounded interesting and finally printed one.

The adventure had begun! A short visit to my favorite grocery store yielded all the perfect ingredients. A clean kitchen meant that I had nothing to stand in my way. So, I banished hubby to the garage to split wood and I began to make my soup.

I started off following the recipe – honest I did! However, it didn’t take long before I realized that the recipe I had searched out was serving more as a very loose guide, more of a suggestion than hard fast, specific directions. Soon the kitchen filled with the delicious aroma of garlic, sweltering onion and lovely vegetables blending their flavors like instruments blend their sounds, to yield something fabulous and almost magical. Alright, I was really hungry and it smelled pretty darned good! It turned out pretty good too, if I do say so myself.

What’s the point of sharing this story with you?  I wanted to share my epiphany. I had the very profound thought that I run my life pretty much exactly like I cook. In short, my life is soup.

I make plans, do diligent research and then refine those plans. When everything feels right and I’m silly excited, I get moving. Sometimes I stick right to the plans or the ‘recipe’, but I’m pretty amazed how often I throw the entire thing right out the window. Still I’m almost always pleased at the result. The soup almost always turns out at least as good as I planned, often much better.

This is going to be short today, because I’m pretty sure you understand my point pretty clearly without me elaborating very much more.  Especially if you are a Reiki or holistic life coaching client of mine, then you could probably finish this all by yourself. But I’m going to spell it out anyway.

The point is simply this. Go ahead, make plans, think things out and organize your future from where you are right now. However, be open to a change here and there, it may yield something remarkable and quite wonderful. Today’s soup wouldn’t have been nearly as tasty without the turnips, and they weren’t in the recipe at all.

My life is just like my soup and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I encourage you to make soup my way from time to time. You may like it!

Wishing you a most fabulous week,

Sandy

Sweet Indiana

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

Silly Indy. Rolled up his favorite blankie to lie down, but he kept stumbling and falling down. Never fear, he’s a clever boy, he eventually braced himself against a chair and just slid down. He’s managing very well.

Indy is my boxer buddy. He turned five years old this past July and is in the prime of his doggy life. But he’s hit a few bumps this past year.

Indy and Duke, Thanksgiving Day

Indiana, just watching the world go round.

Indy had a stroke last spring. Things looked pretty grim for the first several days;  in fact we were all spending as much time with him as possible as it looked as though he would surely die. On the day that I thought would be his last, he started to recover. From there on he made steady progress to an almost full recovery.

Fast forward to this week. All was well until one night Indy was restless around 2:30am. Completely out of character as this boy likes his solid 12 bedtime hours of sleep. I got up with him and he stumbled down the stairs, falling for the past few. This happened a few times in the wee early hours and I knew what had happened again. I had to leave very early that day so I told Indy when I would be back and explained to my husband all of the particulars and how to help Indiana the most.

By the time I got back in the afternoon I didn’t know just what to expect. Not what I found, that’s for sure. I returned to find my now ’tilted’ boy, playing and trying to engage everyone else in play. Clearly he was in no pain and I got the feeling that he wanted us all to know just that.

We lay down on the floor and Indy allowed me to give him Reiki for well over an hour. We then took a nice long nap and both felt much better.

That first night Indy went upstairs to sleep just like normal, but the journey up the stairs was clearly difficult for him. By the middle of the night we were both back down on the first floor. He curled on his favorite blanket and went to sleep. Since then, he hasn’t tried to go upstairs at all. Our youngest son Mike has been staying with us and he has been sleeping on the couch so that Indy won’t be alone and has someone nearby if he needs them.

I’m once again being reminded of so many things. The life coach in me admires the common sense and good nature that Indy is exhibiting. He can’t go up and down the stairs so he’s simply not, excellent self-care! Duke, the boxer that we once fostered has been here for the past few days and Indy really likes him, so when Duke goes outside so does Indy. They stroll around the yard and Indy even tries to coax Duke into playing with him. Imagine this normally very graceful dog trying to run around, stumbling and tipping a bit, but showing Duke that he’s willing! It could be heart-breaking I suppose, but I see it as quite wonderful. Indy knows what he can and cannot do and is quite determined to enjoy everything that he can.

We went to Grandma and Grandpa’s for both Thanksgiving and a birthday party. Guess who was lined up first at the door? Yep, Indy was determined not to be left out of these gatherings. He got to the truck and turned around and just looked at me as if to say ‘Okay, I got this far, now you lift me up please.’ Naturally I did. While at the gatherings, he got plenty of ear rubs and did his best to be sure that little baby faces were kept clean. Another job well done.

I really don’t know what’s ahead for my pal. He’s middle-aged, really at the time most boxers are at their peak of strength and endurance. I’m grateful for that, as I’m sure it’s serving Indy well. I’ll continue to offer Reiki to him everyday, he clearly knows how and when it helps him and I love having the opportunity to offer it to him, more cuddle time for both of us.

We won’t eliminate playtime or walks.  We will of course let Indy set the pace and the time frame. This smart boy clearly knows what he wants and what he can do, so I’ll just let him tell me.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to learn from Indiana. He’s happy! He wants to participate in family activities and he will. When he’s had enough he simply lies down and we are doing our best to be sure that his favorite spots are a bit extra fluffy and warm. Excellent life lessons for me. Enjoy everything I can and take a rest when I’m tired. Find a way to do what you want to do and don’t worry if it looks silly to anyone else. And oh yeah, don’t forget to be affectionate at every opportunity.

This week I hope you take the opportunity to  enjoy every moment, make the most of what you have and expect the very best outcome. Most of all, be happy whenever  possible.

Warmly,

Sandy

Life Changes

Saturday, November 21st, 2009

We’re dating. By ‘we’ I mean my husband of 27 years and of course me. John decided a few months ago that he wanted to make some major changes. I had no idea what was in store for us.

John has always been incredibly conservative. Watching every penny, worrying about every event, predicting all possible outcomes and then sort of holding his breath to see if his predictions would come true. These qualities may sound dull as you read them, but the truth is that they’ve made him a terrific husband and devoted father. We’ve always known that John had all eventualities covered. The boys and I have always felt entirely secure regarding finances and knew that John was totally and completely devoted to us all.

Apparently John has now decided to do a 180! The man is changing right before my eyes, and it’s not only surprising it’s a ton of fun.

He came home one day and told me that we were signed up for ballroom dancing lessons. Okay…sounds like fun to me. Then he told me the date of the first class. It was actually last Friday when I was co-hosting a retreat. No worries, he went by himself. Anyone who knows my husband knows that this was totally and completely out of character. He’s always been quiet and reserved. Apparently, he’s getting over it. He went to the class on his own, danced by himself and asked the very pretty young woman who is one of the instructors to dance with him. John spent all of the days between that first class and last week doing the rumba around the house. I suspect he held off somewhat at the firehouse as I didn’t get any calls. But it’s been terrific watching him have so much fun.

He’s signed us up for cheese tasting classes, checking the movie listings and even planned a cruise for January. Why do I tell you all of this? Because I have to tell someone! Alright, that’s part of it, I am incredibly proud of the way he is embracing change. But most of all, it’s to point out that we can make any changes that we truly want, at any time in our lives.

First of all, we have to want to change. We don’t have to know exactly what we want our lives to look like, but an idea certainly helps. For instance, John didn’t know that he was going to become someone who wanted to go places as frequently as he now does. He’s always been a homebody. But, he did decide that it was time to embrace a more light-hearted approach to life. He made the decision that he would find ways to get out from time to time with his amazing wife (that’s me) and that he would enjoy what life offers, knowing and trusting that his hard work and diligence has laid a good foundation. He’s not become frivolous by any means, but he is having more fun than ever.

How can this happen?  First and foremost John knew he wanted his life to start looking a bit different. He was tired of worrying. Tired of pinching pennies. So, he worked with a holistic life coach and Reiki master (yoo hoo, me again) to develop some practical and easy methods. He started re-framing his comments and statements to be more positive. Instead of focusing on events in his life or in the news that were upsetting or negative, he acknowledged them, discussed them with his life coach or others, but then he worked on letting them go if there was no way for him to change them. That’s huge! His personality is such that it was important for him to talk about things that bother him, that’s fine. But now, he tries not to end on a negative note. Instead he tries to see a lesson or a potential positive outcome.

Another of the things John has done is to stop berating himself for mistakes made in the past. After all, what’s done is done. We can look at the past, we can learn from it, but we have absolutely no ability to change it. I’m proud of him for beginning to accept that the past is done and to forgive mistakes made by himself and others. Again, a big step.

Probably the biggest change in John is that he is focusing on the  amazing life he has led and intends to go on living. He frequently brings up the fun we had raising our three sons. He speaks with pride about their accomplishments, no matter how small. Reminiscing about camping trips and time spent being active in Boy Scouts. He’s excited when he talks about them visiting us or a vacation to see any of them. In short, this man has become hopeful and silly excited about his future. Hooray!

I often speak to my clients, whether Reiki clients or coaching clients about re-framing their speech to see a positive viewpoint. It truly changes the way we feel and think. Affirmations are a powerful tool that we can use as well. Writing and talking to ourselves about the positive changes we are bringing about in our own lives. These things are sometimes overlooked or forgotten because they are so very simple. But they work. It’s pretty much that simple.

So, I’d like to applaud John for the life changes he’s made. I know it hasn’t been all that easy for him. He’s a 52 year old man who had a pretty firm pattern set in his life. But he’s making changes and from all the signs he’s enjoying them incredibly, just as he deserves.

Just one small positive change this week could improve your entire life. Go ahead, give it a try. I can’t wait to hear all about the positive life changes you are making.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go practice my fox-trot and rumba steps so that John doesn’t go off dancing into the sunset without me.

Warmly,

Sandy