Gratitude and Blessings

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the United States. Some will look at this weekend as an opportunity to have a picnic, BBQ or long camping weekend. I’m definitely one of those who look at this long weekend as an opportunity to relax, kick back and get together with others for a cook out.

But that’s not what it’s about, at least to my mind. Memorial Day for me is an opportunity to remember all who have served our country. And it becomes very personal.

Like many of you I have an abundance of family who have served in one branch of the military or another. My grandfather was Army, my father was Army, father-in-law Navy, I could go on and on about the uncles and cousins in various branches of the military. Thinking of each of these people puts a face to the sacrifices that come to mind.

Most of all when I think about service, I think about so many of the little boys and girls who grew up in my neighborhood and have gone on to serve.

The beautiful girl from across the street is making a successful career out of protecting the rest of us with the Air Force. The sweet, blond boy from down the block is one of our amazing Navy Seals. The ‘Dennis the Menace’ of our neighborhood, with the infectious grin and a million plots to carry out is serving with the Army. One of the boys is this very week finishing his paperwork to complete his stint with the Marines. At the same time, a boy who is so close to our family that we consider him another son is planning his send-off party as he looks forward to becoming a proud member of the Air Force in October. Of course, there’s the little boy who grew up in my house, right here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My son Billy spent six years in the Air Force, serving as Special Forces.

As an adult, when I think of my grandparents, uncles, cousins and even the friends who are my own age who have served our country it seems completely logical, appropriate and something that I deeply appreciate and understand.

Different, more complicated emotions surface when I think about the boys and girls who I have watched grow up, go on to take up a position to protect me and mine. These kids used to eat cookies in my kitchen, come to me for a hug when their feelings were hurt and offer bone crushing hugs when they were happy. I know in every cell of my being that each and every one of these kids went into service for all of what I consider to be the right reasons.

I knew each of these kids well before they left for service. They spent long hours talking with their parents, veterans who have served for years and reservists who continue to serve. None of them went into service with their eyes closed.

As they have come back to Milwaukee over the years I have been pleased to see that the twinkle is still in the eye, the grins still flash quickly and each one of them is willing to play at the drop of a hat. But it’s also easy to see that these kids have become strong men and women. They take responsibilities more seriously than many others of their age. They make decisions quickly and surely. Each and every one of them is a confident, competent individual. Their experiences have added shadows to their eyes, a few premature wrinkles on a few and definitely a bit more weight to their shoulders.

I know that each and every one of them has trained for events that I don’t even like to consider. Most of them have seen the ugliest side of humanity, which may well be why they offer a bit more compassion than some. My own son served a year in South Korea, followed by three tours in Iraq. I know it wasn’t easy for him to be so far away from family and friends. But I also know that he made strong bonds that will last a lifetime, many of those bonds much stronger than those with any family could ever be, because of their common experiences. He watched good friends die and he also watched a country begin to rebuild itself.

What I notice about these fine men and women is that they are the people I want in my life forever. Not one of them has ever made excuses for mistakes that have been made; instead they take responsibility and make a plan to move forward. Some of them may well suffer for years or longer with post traumatic stress syndrome. But I have never heard one of them express regret for their service. They joined voluntarily and they have served with excellence and pride.

To each and every one of the men and women who has served this wonderful country throughout the years, I offer my most sincere gratitude. I send blessings to all of you and your families. I salute you.

This Memorial Day I will be taking time to offer thanks and to think about all of those who have offered their time and their very lives so that I could have a long weekend with family, friends and BBQ. They must never be forgotten.

With love and gratitude,
Sandy

Together

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008

It’s been a long time since my entire family was together for Christmas. Our eldest son left for the Air Force right after high school and spent most of the next six Christmas holidays in far away places. One of our other sons enjoys traveling and he spent last Christmas far away in a much warmer location. This year they are all home, along with our beautiful new daughter-in-law. We are very grateful.

As a life coach I spend a lot of my time trying to help others see that there are always two ways of looking at every situation. We have been very grateful for the past several years that everyone was healthy and happy, focusing on the amazing blessings in our lives and enjoying the emails and phone calls that we shared, even when we were not together.

I realize that it is very likely that next year we will be spending the holiday season in different locations. One of our boys is probably going to be moving south (he is so not a fan of the cold Wisconsin weather) another is probably going to relocate to another state for his job. That means that the third will probably get a bit more attention than he would like, but he’s a good sport and I think he can handle it.

What all of this means is that like everyone, we discover again and again that life is about change. We are determined to relax and enjoy having each other this year. Visiting with grandparents, aunts and uncles we appreciate all of the blessings that we often take for granted. We don’t know what the next year will bring, except that we can be pretty certain it will be somewhat different than this season. Some of us may be together, some may be far away. I feel sure that we will still find ways to stay close, and being located in other parts of the country gives us all good reason to take vacation. For our family even when we are separated by many miles, we still know that we are connected by love and genuine affection.

I encourage you to contact and connect with family and friends. If they are nearby terrific! If they are far away you can still be together. Phone calls, emails, cards and letters still connect us in powerful ways. We don’t have to be related to those we love, friends often become our family. This is a wonderful season to reach out to all those we care about and to let them know how we feel about them. Every time we do share that affection we feel a little bit better about our own lives and what friend or family member doesn’t want to know they are loved. The life coach in me loves that! It’s a win-win all around.

So, for this holiday season I wish you the fabulous feeling of knowing that you care about someone and that they care about you in return.

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, happy holidays to all of you my friends,
Sandy

Politics Are Heating Up

Saturday, October 4th, 2008

Here in Wisconsin, folks are taking this presidential election very seriously, but not always respectfully.

Yesterday I was outside when my neighbor called me over to the fence. He was grinning and shaking his head from side to side. Laughing he told me that ‘Some stole my ‘candidate’ yard sign!’ He continued to chuckle as he explained that the culprit had just wasted his time; he was going to go and get another one right away. Then he got a bit more serious. He began to tell me how he feels that people need to understand and respect one another’s points of view in our country. He and his lovely wife are from another country; they came to the United States as a young couple and worked hard to become citizens. He served many years in the Air Force and she is a teacher. They raised two great kids who are now adults. This gentleman went on to say what a privilege it is that we get to choose, how he feels we need to have constructive discussions about what our options are and to support one another. He told me that one of his children will vote for one candidate and the other child for the opposition. He is so proud of both of them for taking the opportunity to learn what the candidates stand for and then voting their conscience. In short, while he supports his candidate adamantly, he supports positive respect for each candidate most of all. Needless to say, he doesn’t need any lesson from this life coach.

Ironically last night I got a visit from a woman I’ve known almost all of my life. She brought up the election as well; I think she had noticed the ‘candidate’ sign in my yard. While we were chatting, she asked my why I had made my selection and if I was steadfast in that decision. It turns out that she is truly undecided at this point. This is a very smart woman, however she does not read very well. Because she wants to make a wise decision about the election she has been watching interviews on television, taking note of the advertisements and trying to ask other people what their viewpoint is and why. Unfortunately, for the most part she has received a pretty poor response. She told me that some people have actually shouted at her for even considering the candidate they are not supporting. Still, she persists in trying to learn as much as she can. Of course I saw this as a great opportunity to share what information I have about each candidate, and explained once again that my viewpoint is undoubtedly biased as I have made my decision. We talked about options for quite some time and I’m so happy to say she feels justified in trying to have civil conversations about politics with people that she respects, and she will continue to do so. Congrats to her for trying to educate herself while she makes a decision. She is taking positive action and I love that I was able to be a small part of that action.

Both of these wonderful people have offered a valuable lesson. They each feel powerful responsibility to make good choices. Each knows and believes that they will share and learn the most, if they are respectful and positive. They continue to share the belief with everyone else they speak to.

I’m very proud to know both of these wonderful people.

My wish for you is that you are surrounded and uplifted by respectful, positive, fabulous people.

With warmth,
Sandy