Independence Day

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Independence Day. It’s important to me to remember that the 4th of July is much more than burgers and watermelon. Now I love the parades, picnics and the fireworks, but there is a reason why we have these celebrations.

We celebrate the birth of the United States of America. I feel honored, blessed and proud to be an American. This nation offers so much opportunity for me and my family, just as it has for generations before me. As a nation I believe that America is strong and generous. Oh we’ve stumbled from time to time, no doubt about it. But when we pull together, work together in a compassionate way to build one another we all grow and become stronger.

This week my message is very short. I simply want to offer my gratitude and thanks for the opportunity to be an American.

Wishing you all a wonderful Independence Day,
Sandy

Frustration

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

The theory is that as a holistic life coach and Reiki master, I won’t experience frustration. Yeah, right.

There is a situation with someone in my family that could easily drive me nuts. The particulars are not really all that important. Regarding most issues, I only add my thoughts if they are solicited. This is really a hard and fast rule regarding my children, especially since they are all grown and have every right to make their own decisions. When I keep my opinion to myself until it’s actually asked for, they give it more weight, take it more seriously and actually ask for it quite often.

So, why am I having such a hard time keeping my yap shut this time? This person is simply dragging his feet, refusing to act on a matter that could affect his finances for the rest of his life, and not in a good way. It’s not that he doesn’t have options, he does and they are readily available. He’s simply not taking any action.

If I were my own life coaching client how would I handle this as my coach? Well, I’d probably start by asking a few direct questions.

Q – What is it that you think you can resolve by constantly bringing up this
situation.
A – I would like to motivate him to take positive steps toward resolving this
situation.
Q – Do you have the ability to change the outcome of this situation?
A – No
Q – Is it your responsibility to handle this situation?
A – No
Q – Have you expressed your concern in a calm, rational manner to the person
involved?
A – Yes
Q – What is likely to be the affect on your relationship if you keep bringing this
up this subject?
A – He will stop asking for my advice regarding other situations.
Q – In general, is he responsible? Does he handle his finances and other ‘grown up’
responsibilities well?
A – Yes, he’s generally very responsible.

That last one just wrapped up the question and answer session done for me. The fact is that he is a generally responsible young man, and even if he weren’t, my forcing my opinion on him will not assist him to learn more responsibility.

The truth is that I am the one bringing on my own frustration. I have explored options with him, shown him the benefits and the drawbacks, now it’s up to him to make the decision that is right for him.

I truly have no way of knowing what is in his mind and heart. And it’s none of my business even if I did. It’s time to trust, back off and relax. Sometimes we need to allow others to make mistakes on their own. If he makes a mistake regarding this situation it will be something that he has to deal with, but it may well prevent him from making a much larger mistake in the future.

So, having worked through this, I feel the frustration melting away. I will trust him to make the right decision for his highest good. I have asked him if he minds my sending Reiki to him to help him to make the decision that will serve him the best and then let it go. He’s agreed and I feel as though I am doing what I can to assist him without interfering.

Truly, that’s the only option I have anyway.

My wish for you is that you are able to take positive action steps to change situations that are yours to change. And that you are able to relinquish those that were never yours to begin with.

Warmly,
Sandy

Gratitude and Blessings

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the United States. Some will look at this weekend as an opportunity to have a picnic, BBQ or long camping weekend. I’m definitely one of those who look at this long weekend as an opportunity to relax, kick back and get together with others for a cook out.

But that’s not what it’s about, at least to my mind. Memorial Day for me is an opportunity to remember all who have served our country. And it becomes very personal.

Like many of you I have an abundance of family who have served in one branch of the military or another. My grandfather was Army, my father was Army, father-in-law Navy, I could go on and on about the uncles and cousins in various branches of the military. Thinking of each of these people puts a face to the sacrifices that come to mind.

Most of all when I think about service, I think about so many of the little boys and girls who grew up in my neighborhood and have gone on to serve.

The beautiful girl from across the street is making a successful career out of protecting the rest of us with the Air Force. The sweet, blond boy from down the block is one of our amazing Navy Seals. The ‘Dennis the Menace’ of our neighborhood, with the infectious grin and a million plots to carry out is serving with the Army. One of the boys is this very week finishing his paperwork to complete his stint with the Marines. At the same time, a boy who is so close to our family that we consider him another son is planning his send-off party as he looks forward to becoming a proud member of the Air Force in October. Of course, there’s the little boy who grew up in my house, right here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My son Billy spent six years in the Air Force, serving as Special Forces.

As an adult, when I think of my grandparents, uncles, cousins and even the friends who are my own age who have served our country it seems completely logical, appropriate and something that I deeply appreciate and understand.

Different, more complicated emotions surface when I think about the boys and girls who I have watched grow up, go on to take up a position to protect me and mine. These kids used to eat cookies in my kitchen, come to me for a hug when their feelings were hurt and offer bone crushing hugs when they were happy. I know in every cell of my being that each and every one of these kids went into service for all of what I consider to be the right reasons.

I knew each of these kids well before they left for service. They spent long hours talking with their parents, veterans who have served for years and reservists who continue to serve. None of them went into service with their eyes closed.

As they have come back to Milwaukee over the years I have been pleased to see that the twinkle is still in the eye, the grins still flash quickly and each one of them is willing to play at the drop of a hat. But it’s also easy to see that these kids have become strong men and women. They take responsibilities more seriously than many others of their age. They make decisions quickly and surely. Each and every one of them is a confident, competent individual. Their experiences have added shadows to their eyes, a few premature wrinkles on a few and definitely a bit more weight to their shoulders.

I know that each and every one of them has trained for events that I don’t even like to consider. Most of them have seen the ugliest side of humanity, which may well be why they offer a bit more compassion than some. My own son served a year in South Korea, followed by three tours in Iraq. I know it wasn’t easy for him to be so far away from family and friends. But I also know that he made strong bonds that will last a lifetime, many of those bonds much stronger than those with any family could ever be, because of their common experiences. He watched good friends die and he also watched a country begin to rebuild itself.

What I notice about these fine men and women is that they are the people I want in my life forever. Not one of them has ever made excuses for mistakes that have been made; instead they take responsibility and make a plan to move forward. Some of them may well suffer for years or longer with post traumatic stress syndrome. But I have never heard one of them express regret for their service. They joined voluntarily and they have served with excellence and pride.

To each and every one of the men and women who has served this wonderful country throughout the years, I offer my most sincere gratitude. I send blessings to all of you and your families. I salute you.

This Memorial Day I will be taking time to offer thanks and to think about all of those who have offered their time and their very lives so that I could have a long weekend with family, friends and BBQ. They must never be forgotten.

With love and gratitude,
Sandy

Women Friends

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

Men, for most of my life I’ve been surrounded by men. Oh, not in the way you might imagine. They’ve just been everywhere!

I remember growing up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, my brother was my first playmate and friend. Okay that explains one male, but for some reason the entire time I was growing up from very small throughout my teenage years, most of my friends were boys and then of course young men.

I grew up and married a wonderful man, and went on to have three sons; do you see a common theme? I chuckle when I realize that even the dogs who have shared my home since I’ve been married have all been male. Now the holistic life coach part of me says that this fact that I was surrounded by men led me to more likely continue to be surrounded by men, and I think that’s correct. Like energy attracts like energy, pretty simple, basic and true. Even now, some of my closest friends are men and I love every one of them. Still, I have to admit, I don’t understand from a personal viewpoint a lot of what makes them operate in the fashion that they do. Their brains don’t always work the same way as mine. I appreciate that, but sometimes I crave someone who does think more as I do.

Enter the women. While as I said, most of my friends have been men, I’ve always had a few very dear friends that were women and I cherish those friendships. These days I find that my life is filled with more and more powerful, smart, exciting and simply fun women. Yahoo!

Circumstances have changed. My sons grew up and I’m no longer involved in Boy Scouts and all of the largely male dominated activities that accompanied raising boys. In the past few years choices regarding the way I want to spend my time have led me to spend more and more time with women.

Changing careers was part of that shift. When I became a holistic life coach I began realizing that I was dealing with women more frequently than with men. It soon became clear to me that while I was attracted to working with men here and there, I had moved to a place in my life where I was much more attracted to the idea of working with people who shared some of my life experiences from my perspective, those who were more likely to be wired to think in a similar fashion to the way I think. I realized that I wanted a stronger connection with my own kind so to speak. It’s been interesting for me to realize how much I value the strength and the warmth of these women. They’re fun, engaging and determined to move forward in their lives in a deliberate, productive manner.

Reiki has been much the same. While it’s true that I decided to work with a man while going through my master/teacher apprenticeship, almost every one of my other connections concerning Reiki have been women. I’m not at all sure why that is. Well, that’s not true. Once again I know that is what I am attracting into my life and the truth is that I’m very grateful. That energy of excitement, contentment and gratitude continues to attract more women into my life on a continual basis. Most of the Reiki clients that I see are women. And then there are the amazing women that I have come to know and love that gather with me once a month for a Reiki share. We could not be more different in age, background and life experience. But we have come to appreciate and love one another.

For me, that’s the power of women. Politically correct or not, I believe that nurturing on some level comes very naturally to most women. I find that the lovely ladies who I am now proud to call friends actually care about one another, are pleased to see one another succeed and support one another without hesitation when a call is put out. Part of me has been surprised to realize how seamlessly women integrate personal with business.

The women that I am now proud to call friends come from all walks of life. Some are professional, with their own businesses or working for large businesses. Others go to work for someone else every day in grocery stores, restaurants, etc. Still others stay at home, raising families and taking care of the home. Age range has become much more diverse than I would have expected several years ago as well. I have friends from their early 20′ to mid 80′s and we all have enough in common to keep us strongly connected. Politics, food, sexual orientation, religion, food, hobbies, wine, food, sex, gardening and men. We talk about it all, ask questions and try to understand one another, and yes we usually manage to bring a bit of food to the situation as well while we are solving the problems of the world. I think it’s part of that tendency to nurture one another, make each other comfortable and show that we care about one another.

I so appreciate the diversity of these women. I am learning so much! I’ve found that even when we have discussions where our thoughts and beliefs are very different that the conversation doesn’t become hostile. It certainly can become lively, but it stays respectful and I always come away seeing another point of view a bit more clearly.

Of course this appeals to both the life coach and Reiki parts of me. I believe that we get what we ask for, whether it’s deliberate or not. As a holistic life coach I am very aware that every one of these friendships supports me on both a personal and professional level. That gives me confidence to expect more of the same and as I go about my day I realize that I am meeting and getting to know more women who are simply adding to the richness of my life on every level, every day. It’s easy to be grateful for all of this and to expect more of the same or even better the next day. It’s a wonderful cycle. And it’s been an awful lot of fun.

So, thank you ladies. I’m grateful and proud to call you each of you friend.

This week, I encourage you to take a look around you, notice and appreciate the fabulous gifts that you receive every day from the women in your life.

Warmly,
Sandy

Black History Month

Saturday, February 14th, 2009

February is Black History Month. It’s a month when hopefully we are all learning a bit more about American history in full,and the amazing contributions that have been made by our African American citizens. It’s also a time to acknowledge the struggle that they have fought to get to where they are today. This is not about blame or recriminations, it’s about learning from the past so that we may make positive steps into the future.

I’m blessed to know a wonderful woman named Barbie. I don’t know her well, but I like her more and more each time that I have the opportunity to spend time with her. She’s smart, loving and a lot of fun. In short, Barbie is an incredible person. Recently I began to realize that she is also an amazing mom. She sent me an email, telling me a bit about her daughter Allyn and granddaughter Buchanan. It seems that Allyn has decided to teach her daughter who is only three years old about the history of her heritage. In addition to television, books and what she will undoubtedly learn in school, they do a skit everyday. Every day! This is brilliant! This lucky little girl is learning from her mom in ways that she can understand and will remember throughout her life.

As a holistic life coach, I realize and appreciate that we all learn in different ways. Allyn is taking the time to introduce the world and American history to her daughter with love and accuracy. By making learning fun, Allyn is not only enjoying the time she spends with Buchanan, but she is making sure that Buchanan understands exactly what the world is about, in terms that she can easily understand. Allyn is my hero for the day, kudos to her and the mom who has taught her so much.

The truth is that we live in a complicated world. Even here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, life is not as simple and straight forward as some of us would like to pretend. Our city, state and country are made up of many cultures, many injustices and an awful lot of pain. We can most easily move forward by acknowledging these injustices and pain. Teach each every generation where we have come from; give them the tools to move forward with hope for the future. I believe that is what Ms. Allyn is doing with her lovely daughter Buchanan.

I’m honored to know Barbie and I hope at some point to meet Allyn and Buchanan as well. Thank you for sharing with me. You ladies are fine examples for how we all can move forward in this complicated world.

Wishing you a fabulous day of learning and growth.

With warmth,
Sandy

Are you Connected?

Saturday, January 31st, 2009

My five favorite guys, good reasons for me to keep in contact.

Friends and family are important to me, so I try to send cards, make phone calls, and basically keep in touch. The truth is that sometimes I’m just not as good at it as I would like to be. Life gets busy, it’s just that simple. Now you are welcome to tell me that as a holistic life coach I should be aware of how very important these relationships are, and you would be right! I am aware, but I still get behind from time to time.

Enter the picture, the Internet. I was not at all sure when I started tooling around on the Internet that I would ever be comfortable, but it’s done so much for me. Email saved my sanity. When our eldest son, Bill, was deployed we had an easy way of communicating with him. Naturally he was not often able to catch up on his emails, but I had the ability to write a few lines or a short novel anytime I passed the computer, it was terrific. This absolutely did not replace cards and letters, but it allowed me to know that what I was saying him was instantly available to him when he had the opportunity to read it. The same story is true when our son Jeff travels, a great way to stay connected. At this point most of my family and friends at least check out their email once a week or so, I love that.

Facebook has entered my world more recently. Now I’ve got to admit I was a bit reluctant about the whole social page thing. I didn’t understand it, truly a few things about Facebook still confuse the daylights out of me, but I’m having fun with it. It’s given me a way to find some friends that I have not spoken with for a while, I can post pictures, send short messages and best of all find out what my family and friends are doing by just taking a quick peek. It’s awesome!

Now, I’m not suggesting that we abandon phone calls, greeting cards and personal visits. All of these are amazing. What I am suggesting is that when things get busy and we find ourselves feeling a bit lonely or simply missing those we care about, the Internet offers another option. After all, my job as a life coach is to offer alternatives and suggestions, to find another way to approach the situation.

Wishing you a fabulous day connecting with family and friends.

With warmth,
Sandy

Did I Do That?

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

What we think about does happen. I firmly believe that. I’m sure you’ve heard or read the theory at some point. Recently ‘The Secret’ has become very well known. Many other authors and speakers have also been spreading the word all over the world.

The theory is pretty simple and straight forward. What we think about, where we put our attention will come to be our reality. Most of us have heard one version or another of this theory for most of our lives. Think about it. ‘What comes around, goes around.’ ‘You will reap what you sow.’ ‘You get what you ask for.’ It all makes perfect sense to me.

One of my favorite people in the world was my Uncle Oren. He always thought of himself as a lucky man. And he was! When he and my aunt were in the process of adopting their son, he entered a contest for baby diapers. Uncle Oren won. Over the next 25 years or so he continued to win, again and again. He won a Suburban, a $5000. lottery, a John Deere tractor with Green Bay Packers painting and logo on it. He also won a hunting rifle and a Harley Davidson telephone. The list goes on and on. When my wonderful, optimistic Uncle Oren entered a contest he simply expected to win. He once told my Aunt Nancy as he was leaving for work that she should call him when the call came in to announce his winning. Guess what happened only a few hours later. I loved that attitude about him, as did everyone who knew him.

I’ve been thinking lately that I wanted to replace my eyeglasses. They were six years old, the lenses were scratched and they were a undoubtedly a bit out of style. Still, they were functional and I couldn’t really think of a good reason to simply go out and replace them. Or could I? I had been thinking a good bit about getting new glasses, even talked to a friend about it. Then I sort of forgot about the issue. I believe I had set the process in motion. I was driving the other day, my glasses were irritating me so I took them off and set them in my lap. Very uncharacteristic of me. Later I got out of the vehicle and completely forgot about the glasses. Only after I had driven away again did I remember what had most likely happened. Sure enough upon returning I found that I had run over my glasses with my truck. Ooops. Guess who now needed new glasses and really had no good way to avoid it. I believe that this happened because I expected to replace the glasses, so that’s just what the universe helped me to arrange.

The reason I share this is that as a life coach I would like all of us to realize that we are in control of our future. We have the ability to bring happiness or unhappiness in to our lives. We can think about, expect and plan for prosperity and as long as we are focusing on actual prosperity, not lack, bills and the fact that it hasn’t happened yet, it will indeed come to exist in our lives.

Now this may or may not happen overnight. We need to focus our attention on what we actually want, completely release what we do not want. In other words, expect only the positive. It takes practice but I know it’s something that we are all able to accomplish, a bit today, a bit more tomorrow.

There will undoubtedly be more that I share about this in the future, in fact I expect that soon I’ll feel the need to hold a workshop on the subject. In the meantime, I encourage you to give it a try. Ask for the wonderful things that you would like to have in your life, expect them to happen and then imagine them happening to you right now. I’d like to hear how it works out for you.

Wishing you a day filled with positive, fabulous thoughts.

Warmly,
Sandy

Positive Motivation

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

We all need motivation. What does it for you? As a life coach some people firmly believe that I always feel positive, motivated and ‘up’. While that’s true to a large extent because I am simply blessed with an optimistic nature, a lot of it comes from learning to find the positive in situations. We can all do the same.

Here’s an example. It’s Saturday morning, there’s no reason in the world why I can’t sleep in, I have nothing pressing to do and the house is clean. What’s more when I opened my eyes and peeked out the window it was clear that it had been raining and I think the weather is forecast for gloomy and sprinkles all day. On the other hand, while the temptation to lie in bed is rather strong I do have a lot of things I’d like to do today, and the truth is that I like getting up early rather than late.

What to do. I got up again, looked out the window and noticed how incredibly beautiful the leaves look; they are in full glory as it is mid-October. I reminded myself how much I thoroughly enjoy rainy days and that autumn is one of my favorite seasons, I so enjoy the color, the brisk air and watching the squirrels scamper around the yard as they search for food to stash for the upcoming winter. After getting up and getting dressed to go to the gym I took a short walk outside. The sun was peeking through those glorious leaves and the birds were singing, just for me I know. Guess whose feeling completely and totally motivated now.

The point here is that everyone is motivated by something different and that something may change from day to day or situation to situation. I mentioned that I’m not a fan of going to the gym. Never quite got the thrill of lifting heavy things and sweating if it wasn’t doing something that I enjoy like gardening or playing an outdoors game with my dog. But the fact is that my body needs more exercise than my day to day activities were providing. I joined Curves, a gym for women. I love going there! The music is lively and fun, but best of all the women are all friendly, welcoming and supportive. Works for me, knowing that I get to go somewhere see people that I really like and that I’m doing something good for my health in just a short timeframe is motivation enough for me to go and sweat. A good friend of mine is motivated to exercise at home for exactly the opposite reasons. She very much enjoys the quiet and solitude of working out in her basement. It lets her gather her thoughts and she feels terrific and ready to face the day when she is done. I would be bored and more than a bit crabby with her option, and she would absolutely despise mine, but each of us is motivated by the choices we have made.

So many things you can do to motivate yourself or those around you. Take the time to discover what makes you feel great; what shifts your attitude from ho-hum to gung-ho. It might be music, a conversation with certain people, a walk outside. Truly it could be anything. I would suggest that you pay attention to that part of you that says this is fun, exciting or simply makes me want to do more of what I am doing. When you get that message, you are being motivated. Your attitude is shifting to feel more positive and that’s always a very good thing. Take note, you’ll want to recreate that feeling again, there’s no doubt about it.

Wishing you a day filled with positive motivation. Doesn’t it feel fabulous?

Warmly,
Sandy

Friends

Saturday, September 27th, 2008

I am blessed to have wonderful friends. Some are actually family (yes, it’s okay to be friends with family! lol). I still have some friends from grade school that I only see or have the opportunity to get together with once every few years. When we get together it’s as though we are still kids, hanging out during the Wisconsin winter and finding so much to do to keep ourselves busy. Other friends are of more recent acquaintance, some I’ve known for 20 years and others less than a year. Yet I find that every year they are more and more precious to me.

From the life coaching point of view I’ve come to realize that it makes sense to have such a broad range of friends. Each friend or group of friends has come to be very special to me and has supported me at different times in my life, I never want to forget or stop appreciating that love and support.

The friends of my childhood and teenage years know a Sandy that has grown and changed in amazing ways. Who would have ever thought that the quick tempered rather shy girl would have become a life coach? And these friends have grown and changed as well, when we get together we reminisce and appreciate the qualities that drew us together long ago, all over again.

Some very important friends were people that I came to know when I was raising my children. Most of them were also raising kids; some of us had our boys in Scouts together, shared church activities, sports, etc. Our kids and these activities gave us a strong connection and some of these friendships have become much more back-burner since the kids have all grown. They’re still very important and the fondness I have for them hasn’t dwindled, I simply see them much less often. They kept me sane through the child-rearing years and for that I’ll always have a special place for them in my heart.

I have gardening buddies. They share my love of puttering in the dirt. We share plants, plans for our yards, frustrations with lack or excess of water, sun, etc. These amazing people all make me feel very optimistic; they are all looking forward to a better, more beautiful tomorrow.

Some of my more recent friends share my personal interests much more than the interests of my husband and children. It makes sense, my boys have grown, my husband has his own interests and I’m now making friends much like those of my childhood, are much more tuned in to my personality, hobbies and interests. It’s very exciting!

All in all I would like to thank my friends, new and old. Each one of you has loved and supported me in ways that you probably are not even aware of. In many ways, each of you has been a wonderful life coach, you have taught me, motivated me and pushed me to grow. I thank each and every one of you for being my friend.

I wish you a day filled with love and support from fabulous friends.

Warmly,
Sandy