Perfect, Just Perfect

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

There’s a book I’ve been reading for over a year. It’s less than 300 pages, which means it should be a book that I have easily read in a weekend. Not so much. I keep beginning the book over and over again. Several times it has hit me right between the eyes, or more accurately, it has hit the mark of my heart. I’m working on it again and this time I’m making much more progress.

The title is ‘Radical Forgiveness’ by Colin C. Tipping. The basic concept is that everything that happens in life is perfect. From opening my eyes in the morning to experiencing something that I might consider a tragedy is perfect on a soul level. This offers me great comfort at the same time that it challenges me tremendously.

I’ve decided that the reason I am drawn to this book again and again is that I believe it to be a most simple and profound truth. I’ve been sharing this idea with more of my Reiki and life coaching clients and I realize that many others share this belief on at least some level.

It’s a concept that is sometimes pretty tough to wrap my head around. After all it’s much easier for me to simply slip into anger, frustration or blame when something happens that is not in my plans. When I stepped into something nasty the other day while picking tomatoes from the garden it was easy to see that there was a simple lesson for me. I could have avoided the situation by putting on shoes and next time that’s what I did. But what is perfect about someone being brutalized or worse? I’m not sure that I can answer that in a way that makes sense to me or to you. I believe that there is always a soul lesson for all who are involved. Learning what that lesson is and seeing the value is something that I am still working on, but I believe that it’s there and that it’s real.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long, possibly life long process for me. I have to admit that I’m both challenged and excited about this prospect. I’m excited to share this journey with my Reiki and life coaching clients as well as family, friends and colleagues. This is far too exciting to keep to myself!

So, I’m going to keep working on it. I encourage you to either pick up the book for yourself, or to at least spend a bit of time thinking about the concept. As for me, I find great comfort in the idea that there is someone I call God guiding me, sending teachers to me and offering me the lessons that my soul is requesting on a continual basis.

Wishing you a wonderful week, knowing that it will be perfect in whatever manner it unfolds.

Warmly,
Sandy

The Shack

Monday, August 17th, 2009

I read a wonderful book the other day. It had been recommended and even loaned to me by one of my favorite life coaching clients. ‘The Shack’ by Wm. Paul Young spoke to me on many levels.

As a life coach I encourage clients to acknowledge and appreciate their faith, if they do indeed believe in a higher power. This book tells the true story of a man who lived through a brutal childhood. Later he married and had children, settling into a wonderful if somewhat ordinary life. God as he knew him was pretty unavailable and not someone he felt that he could count on. Tragically this man experienced a horror that is every parent’s nightmare. Sometime later, this man is invited up to a place referred simply as the shack. During his time at the shack his life changed forever.

I’m not going to tell you too much more because I do not believe I can do the story justice.

Reading this book helped me to deal with many questions. Maybe predictably, it prompted many more questions as well. Most of all it reminded me of the connection I feel with my God and reminded me that it doesn’t have to be all that complicated. It’s really pretty straight forward, a relationship of love and trust. Beginning, middle and end.

Why do I feel the need to share this with you? Because I think we all need something that we believe in and depend upon. For me this is my faith. Life coaching and Reiki have both helped me to become much clearer about my faith. Each has helped me to eliminate some of the junk that I always associated with faith. For me this process has been simple yet incredibly profound.

I encourage both life coaching and Reiki clients to take a bit of time each day to meditate. Time to simply be. When I do this it helps me to clear my mind and open my heart to ideas, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes these thoughts and feelings are new to me. Often they are old thoughts or emotions that I had sort of shelved in the past. Now when I give them a bit of time, they are more easily dealt with, as I simply ponder them from a detached point of view. I’m not consistent about meditating every day at a certain time or place, but I expect to get better about it with time. I know that it has served me well and I absolutely appreciate that fact.

For today I hope that you are able to take a few minutes to spend all by yourself in peace and quiet. Not thinking, just being. I hope that this will help you to find a bit of peace and guidance.

For a very good read which just may change your life, I strongly recommend reading ‘The Shack’. I know I’ll be buying several copies and keeping them on my lending bookshelf. This book is too important not to share, which is why I just shared with you.

Warmly,
Sandy

Let Your Emotions be Your Guide

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

They had an argument. In fact she said it was pretty much a knock-down, drag-out fight, loud and ugly it left them both hurt and feeling cut-off from one another for the next 24 hours. Pretty unusual for them because they generally get along very well. Here’s where it gets interesting. She told me that she knew the day before that a real argument was coming with him, she could feel it.

As both a life coach and a Reiki practitioner, I strongly believe and work with my clients to understand the law of attraction. Quite simply that means that what we put our attention on, what we think about, what we expect, what we ‘know’ is going to happen will in fact come into our experience.

When we talked about this unfortunate argument she shared her thoughts the day before that an argument was about to happen. So, we talked about ways it could have been avoided. Oh, not the discussion. The subject they covered probably should have been addressed, but it could have been handled in their normal loving manner, quickly and easily.

We began with her thoughts and feelings the day prior to the fight. She was feeling great and was on top of the world. When she spoke with her husband he was not as supportive as she would have liked him to be and she was very disappointed. She noted how she felt and although she didn’t take the time to think about it at that very moment, she later realized that she had a few options. She could have reached for a slightly better feeling, possibly frustration as this would have begun the process of lessening her feeling bad. Instead, she became angry, which moved her to a feeling that made her feel even worse.

She held onto that anger all evening and by morning she had moved further on the emotional scale. Unfortunately, she hadn’t moved to a better feeling but instead to a worse feeling, insecurity and guilt. In short, she was pretty much primed for that fight. She knew it was coming and she was bringing it on, not altogether unconsciously.

As we chatted, we talked about the emotional scale. It’s a tool that I find invaluable as a life coach, working with Reiki clients and of course in my everyday life. An awareness of how we feel is truly a very practical and easy guide and it helps us to take our lives in the direction that we truly want to move.

She talked about how her disappointment, anger and insecurity had brought about the argument, then she moved onto ways it could have been a useful and productive discussion. As she talked through the event she began re-framing thoughts and comments in a manner which made her feel a bit better. Progress! This continued, the more she thought and discussed the more she repeatedly found ways to make small, incremental movement up the emotional scale. She was feeling better and better. She was able to re-frame the comments she heard as well as the comments she had made. In this way she was able to forgive both herself and her husband as she realized that there is always more than one way to say and look at every situation.

We chatted a few days later. She had been very deliberately paying attention to her gut, how she felt as well as to her thoughts, were they negative or positive. When her feelings or thoughts were not pleasant she was taking the time to reach for that ever so slightly better feeling or thought. She was very excited with the progress that she was seeing. She noticed that when she was putting her attention on what she wanted rather than what she didn’t want that she was getting much more satisfying results.

Of course I will continue to coach her to make this awareness of how she feels and what she is thinking a natural part of her life. It will become easier and easier.

For any of us, as we see positive results, we are encouraged to do more of what is bringing about those results. Success leads to success. Fabulous!

For today, I encourage you to really pay attention to how you are feeling during the day. When you make decisions or say something, how do you feel? What are you thinking? Become aware and reach for a better feeling and I feel very sure you will have a better day.

Warmly,
Sandy

August Reiki Circle

Friday, August 7th, 2009

Good morning,

Here we are, about to experience our August Reiki Healing Circle tomorrow, Saturday, August 8th. Wow!

When this healing circle began I knew it would be a powerful event, but I did not even begin to imagine just how powerful it would be. I’m so happy to say that this circle is growing, not just in our area, but around our country and around the world.

Just in case you haven’t heard about this before, I’ll recap a bit.

I am honored to be the co-founder of Milwaukee Reiki Healing Circles for special needs children, their families and caregivers. This monthly event is entirely free of charge. While we are happy to welcome all who are able to attend in person, it’s important to remember that Reiki is not limited to space or distance, so we are just as happy to offer Reiki to those who are far away. Likewise, Reiki practitioners of all levels are invited to participate. If possible in person, if it is not possible to participate in person, we invite you to send Reiki.

Our healing circle is held at 2534 S. Kinnickinnic Avenue in Milwaukee, Wisconsin from 10am to 12 noon on the second Saturday of each month. We ask that special needs families who would like to participate in person please register for this free event by calling my co-founder Sally O’Brien at 414-257-1931. Alternately, simply email me at Serenity@SandyWalden.com to have your family added to those who are receiving at a distance. Each special needs family will receive Reiki for 15 minutes. Again; please remember that Reiki is healing energy, there are no space or distance limitations. We are happy to send to anyone who would like to receive. This is an on-going event. Please share this information with anyone you think may be interested in participating, either as a Reiki practitioner or as someone who would like to receive Reiki.

Future Reiki Healing Circles will continue to be held the 2nd Saturday every month, beginning at 10 a.m. Dates for the remainder of 2009 are below.

September 12
October 10
November 14
December 12

This wonderful experience has offered me the opportunity the meet other Reiki practitioners worldwide as well as many very special families. Most of all, it has brought to my attention and reminded me in a most gentle and profound way of the families who may benefit from the blessing of Reiki.

When you share this information with others, you are part of this circle and we will send you blessings as well. So, the simple fact that everything we think, say and do not only goes out to others but comes back to us is confirmed once again. Thank you for sending your love to this project and for sharing this information with others. I know that this is event is going to continue to grow and spread, and that we all will benefit greatly from the blessing of Reiki.

Namaste,
Sandy

Peace at Last

Saturday, July 25th, 2009

My father died on Friday, December 29, 2006. It was much more painful than I expected.

My father and mother divorced when I was very young. My mom soon married again to the man who raised me, the man I have always considered and referred to me as my dad.

I was raised to respect and care about my father. While I grew up in Wisconsin he lived and worked in Louisiana. Generally I saw him once a year, though sometimes it was less often. He made regular phone calls while I was growing up and I’m sure he did the best he could to build a relationship. But as you might expect it was never as close as I somehow thought it should be and always hoped it would become.

I grew up, married and had a family of my own. My father continued to call fairly regularly and to visit when he would be in the area. As he had been raised in northern Wisconsin he made visits to the Milwaukee area most years.

This was always a tough relationship, looking back I think it was tough for both of us. There’s no doubt that I could have and should have tried harder on my end. I always thought that he could have and probably should have tried more as well. Sadly, when I think about it now, I realize that I had no idea how to bring about the relationship I desired or if I even knew what I wanted. I always just sort of felt that there was something missing. Frankly, I don’t know even now if he was satisfied with the way things were either, or if he thought there should be more as well.

My father’s two younger brothers died a few years before him. After their deaths I had the strong feeling that he was much more aware of his mortality. He definitely made more of an effort to connect with me and my grown children than he ever had before. He spent a few weeks at a time in Wisconsin and made much more of an effort to connect. While I appreciated this effort, and we had some very good times, the truth is that it was often very strained. Still it was progress.

The phone call came in September of 2006. My father told me that he had terminal cancer. I knew it was now or never. We kept in touch much more frequently and I drove down to Louisiana to spend a few weeks with him. I’m so glad that I did. Still, in the manner of people who have full hearts but do not feel comfortable expressing their emotions to one another, we left much unsaid.

When I learned of his death I thought that I would be able to close that particular chapter of my life. We had cared about one another, but truly not known each other as well as we probably could have. I really believed that it would be a matter of shedding some quiet tears and saying goodbye. Wrong.

What I found out was that I cared much more deeply than I knew. I relived and experienced feelings of loss and grief from my childhood on. I thought about the experiences that we had missed out on, the fact that he hadn’t attended my wedding and had never held any of my children when they were babies. I had to acknowledge the anger and resentment that I had felt at never feeling like I was a priority in his life. I had to acknowledge these feelings and allow myself to truly feel them before I was able to let them go. Of course that meant that I also had to acknowledge my feelings of shame and guilt, I had to honestly take ownership of my part in this relationship. The finger pointing and blame game was not acceptable anymore. It was important to acknowledge and apologize for not making my feelings clear to him while he was still here.

Reiki helped me so much as I went through this process. After I went through the blame and anger I was finally able to acknowledge that someplace deep inside I had always known that my father really did love me very deeply. He simply did not demonstrate it in the manner I had somehow expected. Receiving Reiki on a regular basis and practicing life coaching skills helped me to move into a place of love and forgiveness, for both of us. To be honest, it took an awful lot of thinking about him, praying and meditating to be sure that he was aware now in the afterlife that I had always had very deep affection for him as well. Eventually, I was able to come to a place of peace.

So, here I am. More than two and a half years later I am now able to think about my father and smile. The bitterness, anger and hurt needed to be allowed, acknowledged and finally released. Now there are the feelings of forgiveness and acceptance for both of us. There is acknowledgment that few people live storybook lives where emotions and feelings are demonstrated to the expectation and satisfaction of all involved. Most of us feel that others should say or do things in a different manner to be most effective, but emotions and feelings are complicated and the should of, could of is irrelevant in the end. That’s just life.

I have no doubt that some of these feelings will resurface from time to time. Occasions of one sort or another may make me think about the way things actually happened or the way I wish they had been. But now they are much easier for me to deal with. I realize that while we both had our shortcomings, we actually did the very best that we could at the time. I have no way of knowing what was in his mind or heart in the past, but I am sure and always have been sure that he only wanted the best for me. That makes memories and resurfacing emotions much easier to allow, and to move through with love, forgiveness and blessings.

For me, it’s very important to remember that my memory is selective at best. My thoughts and emotions at the moment have always colored my memories and they always will. I can’t change the past, so I choose to appreciate and be grateful for the lessons I have learned. I choose to live in the moment. At the moment I choose to feel good. I choose to forgive myself and others. I choose to love. I choose peace at last.

I wish you a day of forgiving and allowing yourself to be forgiven. I wish you a day of love and blessings. I wish you a day of peace.

Warmly,
Sandy

Another Lesson from Indiana

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

I’ve written here about my buddy Indiana before. He’s the charming, good looking, friendly and ever so clever boxer dog who lives with my husband and me. Indy will be five years old in just a few weeks, so he’s now officially a middle-aged gentleman in the boxer world. All my life I’ve had the privilege of living with dogs and they have always had so much to teach me. Indy is no exception.

Recently our son Jeff who lives in Los Angeles decided he really wanted a dog to keep him company. He’s been raised with boxers and really missed Indy, so he adopted a boxer that he named Duke. Duke is a big, beautiful boy, friendly and very mellow, somewhere between 1 and 2 years old. The rescue wasn’t sure of his age as they had no idea where he originally came from. This dog seemed perfect to live with Jeff and so they went home together.

They bonded instantly and became best buddies. The problem is that Duke couldn’t get over the noise and constant activity of LA. The poor guy actually started loosing his hair. After consulting a behaviorist, veterinarian and trainer who each independently told Jeff that Duke was clearly not going to adjust to being an urban dog, Jeff decided to re home his buddy. So, he made arrangements for Duke to go to Texas to live with his elder brother Bill and his wife Felicia. The only problem is that they could not take him for 3 months and Duke clearly could not stay in LA, his stress level was just escalating.

Road trip! Duke and Jeff made their way across the USA to Milwaukee. Duke is going to hang with us until Bill and Felicia are able to take him home in a few months. All of this is well and good, we were pretty sure Indy would be happy to have a friend for a few months as he’s always done well with doggy company. But Duke has little or no experience with other dogs, so we really didn’t know how this would go.

I should have known that I could trust the dogs, particularly Indy to handle the situation perfectly. From the moment Duke walked into the yard, Indy reined in his normally exuberant behavior, walked over to Duke and in their silent language invited his new pal to stroll through the yard with him and look it all over. Duke was only slightly hesitant. Indy was calm and patient, luring him when Duke was shy and playing a bit now and then when Duke showed a bit more interest.

This has been going on for a few days now. I’ve been walking them together each day so that Duke is more comfortable with me when Jeff leaves and to of course reinforce his training and give them both needed exercise. The life coach in me is pleased and somewhat surprised to see that the doggy training continues between the two of them regardless of what I do. They walk on opposite sides of me, but Duke is still watching Indy and taking all of his cues from him. In the house they are also learning about one another. Indy continues to lure his new friend into the occasional game of chase or tug, exhibiting patience that I did not for a moment expect from him. Meal time is interesting as well. Duke is a big boy; a bit underweight and not filled out yet. As such he eats considerably more than Indiana. They get separate bowls and when Duke is finished he invariably heads over to Indy’s bowl. He will gently and politely put his face near the bowl. If Indy is done he will back off and let Duke finish the food. If Indy is not done he simply pushes Duke away with a short growl that says ‘not now buddy’ and Duke quietly goes about his business.

I refer to the coaching lessons that they are both teaching me; because it strikes me that they are teaching me every moment that I watch them together. Indiana is a terrific life coach to Duke. He is patient but he also clearly has expectations. He will lure or invite Duke to do certain things, if Duke accepts they work on it together, like playing with a tug toy, a totally new experience for Duke. If Duke refuses, Indy simply walks away without taking it at all personally. He simply tries something else a bit later. What a great life coach! Indy offers, suggests, provokes just a little bit. Then he waits to see the results. If they are pleasing he lures and asks for a bit more. If the results are not successful, he tries something else. Have I mentioned that I think my Indy is a bit of a genius? lol

Both dogs are of course receiving Reiki everyday. It’s simply part of the daily routine around here. I strongly believe that Reiki is much of the reason that Indy has made such an amazing physical recovery from his stroke a few months ago. I can only imagine how it has helped him mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Of course I want Duke to enjoy the same benefits as much as possible. He’s a very special dog and deserves to know the love and benefits of people who care about him very much. Reiki is part of that experience while he’s involved with this family.

Once again, I’d like to thank the animals in my life for the simple yet profound lessons that they teach me again and again. They keep the lessons easy and straightforward. That’s greatly appreciated and I will keep applying these lessons learned while I work with my own holistic life coaching clients.

This week I encourage you to take a bit of time. Observe the animals in your life. Maybe they’re your pets, or even the squirrels and birds in the yard. It doesn’t take long to realize they are all teaching us and if we pay attention we can learn an awful lot.

Warmly,
Sandy

July Reiki Healing Circle in Milwaukee

Friday, July 10th, 2009

Good morning,

I’m so excited that we will be holding our third Reiki Healing Circle tomorrow, Saturday, July 11.

Each month I have been blessed by meeting new Reiki practitioners. Each month we have had the honor of sending Reiki to more families. What an incredible feeling. If you haven’t read about this before, I’d like to explain a little bit.

I am honored to be the co-founder of Milwaukee Reiki Healing Circles for special needs children, their families and caregivers. This monthly event is entirely free of charge. While we are happy to welcome all who are able to attend in person, it’s important to remember that Reiki is not limited to space or distance, so we are just as happy to offer Reiki to those who are far away. Likewise, Reiki practitioners of all levels are invited to participate. If possible in person, if it is not possible to participate in person, we invite you to send Reiki.

Our healing circle is held at 2534 S. Kinnickinnic Avenue in Milwaukee, Wisconsin from 10am to 12 noon on the second Saturday of each month. We ask that special needs families who would like to participate in person please register for this free event by calling my co-founder Sally O’Brien at 414-257-1931. Alternately, simply email me at Serenity@SandyWalden.com to have your family added to those who are receiving at a distance. Each special needs family will receive Reiki for 15 minutes. Again; please remember that Reiki is healing energy, there are no space or distance limitations. We are happy to send to anyone who would like to receive. This is an on-going event. Please share this information with anyone you think may be interested in participating, either as a Reiki practitioner or as someone who would like to receive Reiki.

Future Reiki Healing Circles will continue to be held the 2nd Saturday every month, beginning at 10 a.m. Dates for the remainder of 2009 are below.

August 8
September 12
October 10
November 14
December 12

When we offer Reiki to others healing and blessings are not only received by those who are present, but also by all involved. When you have shared this information with others, you are part of this circle and we will send you blessings as well. So, the simple fact that everything we think, say and do not only goes out to others but comes back to us is confirmed once again. Thank you for sending your love to this project and for sharing this information with others. I know this is going to be a fabulous event and that all will benefit.

Namaste,
Sandy

Reiki Healing Circle – June 2009

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

We will hold our second monthly Reiki Healing Circle in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin, in just a few more days. Saturday, June 13, 2009.

This Reiki Healing Circle is a gathering of Reiki practitioners for the
purpose of offering Reiki energy to special needs children, their families
and caregivers. This event is completely free of charge; let me be clear
there is absolutely no fee to receive Reiki at this event. Reiki
practitioners of all levels are welcome to participate either in person or
by sending distance Reiki.

This event will take place at 2534 S. Kinnickinnic Avenue in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin beginning at 10 a.m. We ask that special needs families register
to participate in this free event by calling my co-founder Sally O’Brien at
414-257-1931. Each special needs family will receive Reiki for 15 minutes.
Last month we had two families who were able to participate in person.
Several others asked for distance Reiki and of course as a group we were
very happy to accommodate. It’s very important to remember that Reiki is
healing energy, there are no space or distance limitations. We are happy to
send to anyone who would like to receive.

I will co-host a teleseminar for all Reiki practitioners who will
participate either in person or by distance. If you are a Reiki practitioner
and would like to participate, please send an email to
Serenity@SandyWalden.com so that you may be given the number to call and the
access code for this teleseminar. During this call we will set our intention
for all who will be participating. This teleseminar will begin at 6 p.m.
PST, 7 p.m. MST, 8p.m. CST and 9 p.m. EST.

This is an on-going event. Please share this information with anyone who you
think may be interested in participating, either as a Reiki practitioner or
as someone who would like to receive Reiki.

Future Reiki Healing Circles will continue to be held the 2nd Saturday every
month, beginning at 10 a.m. Dates for the remainder of 2009 are below.

July 11
August 8
September 12
October 10
November 14
December 12

When we offer Reiki to others healing and blessings are not only received by
those who are present, but also by all involved. When you have shared this
information with others, you are part of this circle and we will send you
blessings as well. So, once again the simple fact that everything we think,
say and do not only goes out to others but comes back to us is confirmed
once again.

Thank you for sending your love to this project and for sharing this
information with others. I know this is going to be a fabulous event and
that all will benefit.

Namaste,
Sandy

Gratitude and Blessings

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the United States. Some will look at this weekend as an opportunity to have a picnic, BBQ or long camping weekend. I’m definitely one of those who look at this long weekend as an opportunity to relax, kick back and get together with others for a cook out.

But that’s not what it’s about, at least to my mind. Memorial Day for me is an opportunity to remember all who have served our country. And it becomes very personal.

Like many of you I have an abundance of family who have served in one branch of the military or another. My grandfather was Army, my father was Army, father-in-law Navy, I could go on and on about the uncles and cousins in various branches of the military. Thinking of each of these people puts a face to the sacrifices that come to mind.

Most of all when I think about service, I think about so many of the little boys and girls who grew up in my neighborhood and have gone on to serve.

The beautiful girl from across the street is making a successful career out of protecting the rest of us with the Air Force. The sweet, blond boy from down the block is one of our amazing Navy Seals. The ‘Dennis the Menace’ of our neighborhood, with the infectious grin and a million plots to carry out is serving with the Army. One of the boys is this very week finishing his paperwork to complete his stint with the Marines. At the same time, a boy who is so close to our family that we consider him another son is planning his send-off party as he looks forward to becoming a proud member of the Air Force in October. Of course, there’s the little boy who grew up in my house, right here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My son Billy spent six years in the Air Force, serving as Special Forces.

As an adult, when I think of my grandparents, uncles, cousins and even the friends who are my own age who have served our country it seems completely logical, appropriate and something that I deeply appreciate and understand.

Different, more complicated emotions surface when I think about the boys and girls who I have watched grow up, go on to take up a position to protect me and mine. These kids used to eat cookies in my kitchen, come to me for a hug when their feelings were hurt and offer bone crushing hugs when they were happy. I know in every cell of my being that each and every one of these kids went into service for all of what I consider to be the right reasons.

I knew each of these kids well before they left for service. They spent long hours talking with their parents, veterans who have served for years and reservists who continue to serve. None of them went into service with their eyes closed.

As they have come back to Milwaukee over the years I have been pleased to see that the twinkle is still in the eye, the grins still flash quickly and each one of them is willing to play at the drop of a hat. But it’s also easy to see that these kids have become strong men and women. They take responsibilities more seriously than many others of their age. They make decisions quickly and surely. Each and every one of them is a confident, competent individual. Their experiences have added shadows to their eyes, a few premature wrinkles on a few and definitely a bit more weight to their shoulders.

I know that each and every one of them has trained for events that I don’t even like to consider. Most of them have seen the ugliest side of humanity, which may well be why they offer a bit more compassion than some. My own son served a year in South Korea, followed by three tours in Iraq. I know it wasn’t easy for him to be so far away from family and friends. But I also know that he made strong bonds that will last a lifetime, many of those bonds much stronger than those with any family could ever be, because of their common experiences. He watched good friends die and he also watched a country begin to rebuild itself.

What I notice about these fine men and women is that they are the people I want in my life forever. Not one of them has ever made excuses for mistakes that have been made; instead they take responsibility and make a plan to move forward. Some of them may well suffer for years or longer with post traumatic stress syndrome. But I have never heard one of them express regret for their service. They joined voluntarily and they have served with excellence and pride.

To each and every one of the men and women who has served this wonderful country throughout the years, I offer my most sincere gratitude. I send blessings to all of you and your families. I salute you.

This Memorial Day I will be taking time to offer thanks and to think about all of those who have offered their time and their very lives so that I could have a long weekend with family, friends and BBQ. They must never be forgotten.

With love and gratitude,
Sandy

Women Friends

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

Men, for most of my life I’ve been surrounded by men. Oh, not in the way you might imagine. They’ve just been everywhere!

I remember growing up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, my brother was my first playmate and friend. Okay that explains one male, but for some reason the entire time I was growing up from very small throughout my teenage years, most of my friends were boys and then of course young men.

I grew up and married a wonderful man, and went on to have three sons; do you see a common theme? I chuckle when I realize that even the dogs who have shared my home since I’ve been married have all been male. Now the holistic life coach part of me says that this fact that I was surrounded by men led me to more likely continue to be surrounded by men, and I think that’s correct. Like energy attracts like energy, pretty simple, basic and true. Even now, some of my closest friends are men and I love every one of them. Still, I have to admit, I don’t understand from a personal viewpoint a lot of what makes them operate in the fashion that they do. Their brains don’t always work the same way as mine. I appreciate that, but sometimes I crave someone who does think more as I do.

Enter the women. While as I said, most of my friends have been men, I’ve always had a few very dear friends that were women and I cherish those friendships. These days I find that my life is filled with more and more powerful, smart, exciting and simply fun women. Yahoo!

Circumstances have changed. My sons grew up and I’m no longer involved in Boy Scouts and all of the largely male dominated activities that accompanied raising boys. In the past few years choices regarding the way I want to spend my time have led me to spend more and more time with women.

Changing careers was part of that shift. When I became a holistic life coach I began realizing that I was dealing with women more frequently than with men. It soon became clear to me that while I was attracted to working with men here and there, I had moved to a place in my life where I was much more attracted to the idea of working with people who shared some of my life experiences from my perspective, those who were more likely to be wired to think in a similar fashion to the way I think. I realized that I wanted a stronger connection with my own kind so to speak. It’s been interesting for me to realize how much I value the strength and the warmth of these women. They’re fun, engaging and determined to move forward in their lives in a deliberate, productive manner.

Reiki has been much the same. While it’s true that I decided to work with a man while going through my master/teacher apprenticeship, almost every one of my other connections concerning Reiki have been women. I’m not at all sure why that is. Well, that’s not true. Once again I know that is what I am attracting into my life and the truth is that I’m very grateful. That energy of excitement, contentment and gratitude continues to attract more women into my life on a continual basis. Most of the Reiki clients that I see are women. And then there are the amazing women that I have come to know and love that gather with me once a month for a Reiki share. We could not be more different in age, background and life experience. But we have come to appreciate and love one another.

For me, that’s the power of women. Politically correct or not, I believe that nurturing on some level comes very naturally to most women. I find that the lovely ladies who I am now proud to call friends actually care about one another, are pleased to see one another succeed and support one another without hesitation when a call is put out. Part of me has been surprised to realize how seamlessly women integrate personal with business.

The women that I am now proud to call friends come from all walks of life. Some are professional, with their own businesses or working for large businesses. Others go to work for someone else every day in grocery stores, restaurants, etc. Still others stay at home, raising families and taking care of the home. Age range has become much more diverse than I would have expected several years ago as well. I have friends from their early 20′ to mid 80′s and we all have enough in common to keep us strongly connected. Politics, food, sexual orientation, religion, food, hobbies, wine, food, sex, gardening and men. We talk about it all, ask questions and try to understand one another, and yes we usually manage to bring a bit of food to the situation as well while we are solving the problems of the world. I think it’s part of that tendency to nurture one another, make each other comfortable and show that we care about one another.

I so appreciate the diversity of these women. I am learning so much! I’ve found that even when we have discussions where our thoughts and beliefs are very different that the conversation doesn’t become hostile. It certainly can become lively, but it stays respectful and I always come away seeing another point of view a bit more clearly.

Of course this appeals to both the life coach and Reiki parts of me. I believe that we get what we ask for, whether it’s deliberate or not. As a holistic life coach I am very aware that every one of these friendships supports me on both a personal and professional level. That gives me confidence to expect more of the same and as I go about my day I realize that I am meeting and getting to know more women who are simply adding to the richness of my life on every level, every day. It’s easy to be grateful for all of this and to expect more of the same or even better the next day. It’s a wonderful cycle. And it’s been an awful lot of fun.

So, thank you ladies. I’m grateful and proud to call you each of you friend.

This week, I encourage you to take a look around you, notice and appreciate the fabulous gifts that you receive every day from the women in your life.

Warmly,
Sandy