This Life Coach Needs People!

Saturday, October 4th, 2008

I’m a pretty social person, my husband…not so much. Now he’s a great guy and he enjoys being with family and

My five favorite guys, good reasons for me to keep in contact.

friends, but frankly he gets pretty much all of his social needs met by spending time with our grown kids, the occasional outing with friends and spending those 24 hour shifts with ‘the guys’ at the firehouse.

As for me, I need people! I need to work, see, talk to, play with and generally interact with many more people. Much of my daily life is handled on the telephone, and while I appreciate and enjoy this very much, I also have an absolute need to spend time being in the actual physical proximity of other people.

So, I do a couple of things. I attend business networking groups, I’ve joined a book club (I love to read!), I take my dog for lots of walks or to the dog park where I am sure to meet people with similar interests. I go to Curves, a gym for women, it’s chatty and friendly, and I get to fit in the dreaded work-out while I’m having a great time getting to know the other women. Having lunch or seeing a movie with a dear friend is always fun. It’s not unusual at all for me to call a friend or one of my boys to invite them to just come over and hang out; we might have a meal together or simply enjoy a glass of wine outside by the fire.

Years ago, this was a bit more difficult for me. My husband works as a firefighter and that often meant that he was gone. Most of the time I appreciate and enjoy my alone time, but sometimes I need that social contact. For me that meant getting involved in…oh, so many things. When my boys were younger, I not only took them to Scouts, I got very involved. It was a great way to get to know the other boys and their families that my boys were interacting with. And it was fun being a leader for so many years. The same with school, I participated in many activities. As my sons got older my social activities revolved around them less and less. Yahoo! It was time for me to be a grown up again. It’s been terrific finding my own interests and participating in things that I truly enjoy.

Now, keep in mind I mentioned earlier that my husband would rather spend most of his time with me. That’s fine! When he’s around I spend a great deal of time with him, he compromises by doing a few social activities with me and I compromise by doing most of my socializing during his work days. Of course I do spend some time doing my own thing when he’s home, but with each of us doing just a bit of bending it works very well.

So, the life coach in me wants to turn this into a lesson. You didn’t think I was just rambling on did you? Early on I discovered that I had much more need for social outlets than my sweet husband. We talked about it and decided that the most positive and satisfying way to work this out was just the solution I have already described. That was the action part, in case you missed it. There’s no way that my husband can fulfill all of my social needs and for me to drag him everywhere would make both of us miserable. So, our solution is a positive for both of us.

Wishing you the fabulous joys of as much or as little social activity as is right for you.

Warmly,
Sandy

Enthusiastic, Positive Action

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

I was pleased to run into a woman I know recently. She was so excited and looked so happy I had to ask her what was going on in her life. The life coach in me was excited to see her enthusiasm and excitement, I had to know more.

It turns out that this woman feels very strongly about which candidate she thinks should be elected president in the upcoming election. This year she decided that instead of simply going out to vote, she would do all that she could to see that her candidate would become the next president. She has volunteered to work the phone banks, is going door to door and talking to people and handing out literature. She is attending speeches and rallies. She is even opening up her home to fellow campaign workers and voters.

Wow!!! I was amazed, especially when she told me that as recently as a year ago, she would never have been able to do any of these things, and she would have felt overwhelmed and far too shy. What happened? She found something that she feels passionately about and discovered that baby steps could soon lead her down a wonderful path.

Talking to this woman was incredible. We have completely opposite views about whom
would make a better president, but that was okay. She never once criticized my candidate; instead she focused on the positive attributes of hers. Although I am firm in my beliefs and know who I will vote for, I found myself eagerly listening to what she had to say. Her enthusiasm was contagious and her positive attitude made me see her candidate in a far more positive light.

I would like to congratulate this amazing woman on taking action. One of the things coaching clients always need to understand is that it doesn’t matter how eager you are to reach your goal, if you do not take some type of action, big or small, you will not reach that goal. However, when you go to bed tonight, as you think about the day and what has happened, you will no doubt feel wonderful when you realize that you have taken steps towards achieving your goal. And when you have spread positive energy to others with your smile and enthusiasm, you will help others to feel wonderful as well.

I wish you a day filled with actions that will lead closer to your goal, no matter what that goal may be. Doesn’t it feel fabulous to be on the road to success?

Warmly,
Sandy

Live for Today

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Do you have special things that you are saving to use on a special day?

When I got married I received crystal bowls, glasses, etc. I love glass and they were beautiful. However, my husband and I were not holding any formal dinners to use our beautiful crystal, we were much more likely to have casual backyard BBQ’s.

When our boys got to be the age of curiosity they wanted to know all about the pretty glass. Well, it occurred to me one day that it was to be used!! It had not been given to us to sit in a cabinet, but rather to be used and enjoyed. From that day forward, we made a huge salad a few times a week in one of the beautiful bowls. If there was dessert, pudding, Jell-O, ice cream, you name it; we served it in the pretty bowls or glasses. It made the boys feel so grown up and trusted and very special to use the beautiful glassware. And I loved seeing it used.

My point is that we all have special things‚ that we are saving for a special day. Why not make today your special day? Wear your favorite dress! Have that favorite wine, call those friends that you think about but never find the time to call. It’s tough not to feel wonderful when you are wearing your finery, talking to your favorite people and smiling all the time.

Everyday is a wonderful gift. We don’t know if we will be here tomorrow. So of course make plans for your future, but be sure to live for today. Now is what is important!  Smile, relax, and speak with love and hope and compassion. Enjoy the moment and you will find yourself going to bed tonight with a beautiful smile and a feeling of calm, joy and serenity.

I wish for you a fabulous day spent enjoying the now.

Warmly,
Sandy