You are an Energy Super Hero

Saturday, December 12th, 2009

I was reminded by a wonderful gentleman the other day of the power we have over one another. Pull out your super hero cape; you’ve got the power too.

Did you ever go into a room and know that something very unpleasant was going on, even before anyone said a word? Perhaps the room felt tense or just generally unwelcoming as you entered. You were feeling the energy of at least one person in that room, possibly that of everyone in that room.

Alternately, do you know someone who just makes you feel silly happy to see them? Most of us know at least one person like that; we are truly blessed if we know many. These people share their loving energy as naturally as you and I breathe.

Sounds like super powers to me. You have this power as well. Experiment a bit if you don’t believe me. Go into a room and smile; deliberately think of sharing loving ‘vibes’. Most likely you will quickly notice that others are smiling back. Probably approaching you, offering hugs or handshakes. You are sharing your loving energy and infecting others with it. Wahoo!!! You are using your super powers whether you are wearing the cape or not.

You do this innately. But here’s the cool part. Now that you are conscious of this ability, you can be very deliberate about it as well. Naturally, I encourage you to use this power for good, not evil.

Take a moment before you enter a room, answer a phone call or start a conversation. Consciously align your thoughts to the vibes you want to give out. If you want to be cheery, recall a happy thought, notice that feeling, intend to share that energy with those you are about to speak with and put a big smile on your face. It will come through loud and clear. If it’s your intention to spread calm, take a few deep breaths; remember a place or occasion that made you feel calm and content. Hold on to this feeling and intend to share it with others. You’re on!

The gentleman that I spoke about earlier has come to realize this power in a very profound way. I applaud him for recognizing and wanting to share this with others. He now makes a very conscious point of starting conversations with a smile and asking for the other person to share something good that has happened to them today. I love that! He’s automatically releasing any thoughts or feelings of negativity, asking for and giving thoughts of happiness or joy.  He’s not only feeding his own sense and feeling of well-being, but he is sharing that same gift with others at the same time. Well done my friend!

This awareness strikes me on all levels, particularly professionally. As a Reiki master, I always encourage my clients to deliberately release any negativity they no longer need and to allow themselves to accept  positive energy as they are ready. As a Reiki teacher I encourage my students to develop awareness of their own energy so that they offer only healthy, positive energy to others as much as possible. Of course any of my holistic life coaching clients hear the same thing.   These energy shifts may be subtle, but they influence our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Powerful stuff.

I encourage you to consciously put on your cape every day. Take a few moments to think about what you would like to project to others as well as what you hope to receive from your interaction with others.  See what happens. Make a few mental notes, and notice that the more deliberate you are about sharing love, compassion and joy the more you receive of the same.  I’m willing to bet that you will very soon realize just how much you are able to positively influence the outcome of every situation. Intend to share, focus on those thoughts and feelings, notice the results, offer gratitude and begin the process all over again.

Try this for a day or two, I bet you’ll be hooked. I hope so. Then go on, share the secret with someone else. You’ll be giving them their very own super hero cape.

Warmly,

Sandy

Changes

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

Optimistic. Happy. Excited. Those are some of the words I would use if asked how I feel about life these days. I realize that there are big changes going on everywhere. Many people are losing their jobs and we are told many times a day that times are tough. We are in a crisis. Things have not been this dire in years. But that’s just not the way I feel.

I find myself turning off the television and radio and simply ignoring most of the newspaper. It’s not that I’m hiding my head in the sand to avoid reality, it’s just that I’m selective about which reality I want to immerse myself in. The truth is that I’m happy and healthy and so are most of the people that I know. Some have lost their jobs and yes, many have tightened their belts and had to make substantial changes in their lifestyles. What does that mean? It simply means change. Change is neither good nor bad on it’s own, but it does offer options to us.

It seems that many large businesses are closing or paring down. At the same time, many small businesses are healthier than ever.

Many of the people I know, friends and clients are entrepreneurs, others work for small businesses. Most of these people acknowledge that the way they do business has changed substantially, but most of them are enjoying abundance and prosperity at a level that is not being described in the media. Why? Because scary is more dramatic, it sells better. The truth is that I’m not likely to watch the news if I think the announcer is only going to talk about the fact that the businesses operated just fine today. All the children showed up on time, healthy and happy for school and all is generally A-okay all over town.

We get excited, all worked up about bad news. It motivates us to get out there and save someone or something. That’s great! Now let’s get just as excited about the good news.

I have to say that life is changing for me, personally and professionally. Particularly this time of year I find that I really enjoy the changes. I deliberately make changes in the house from rearranging items to changing colors. It elevates my mood and helps me to get ready for the holiday season and colder weather.

What can you do to learn to flow with the inevitable changes that life brings? I suggest a few things. First and foremost I encourage you to simply turn off negative messages whenever possible. That may mean only listening to the television or radio news long enough to hear about the weather and sports. Better yet, why not read a newspaper and select which articles you want to read. That way you have control of what messages you are receiving and when. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people, either change the subject or simply excuse yourself as soon as possible.  Refuse to add to  the conversation when gossip starts.

Another of my favorite tools is color. Most of us react very strongly to color whether we realize it or not. Wear colors that make you feel happy. Surround yourself with these colors if at all possible. I don’t mean that you have to refurnish entire rooms, adding pillows, candles or even flowers can bring in colors which have a dramatic affect on your mood.

Music is another powerful tonic to gloomy days. Most of us have a favorite song or CD, listening to it always puts us in a good mood, so put it on whenever you have the opportunity.

Of course I add Reiki, it always helps me to regain my focus and balance and to relieve the stress in my life.

Making a list of the things I’m grateful for, the blessings in my life, reminds me that while my life may be unfolding in a way that was not originally part of my plans, I always have much to be grateful. This always helps my mood.

It’s important to be sure to use good self-care when going through stressful change. It can help to balance the emotions and of course  things like eating right and exercising not only keep you healthy, but make you stronger in mind and body to handle whatever is happening, hopefully in a more positive manner. The holistic life coach in me just couldn’t wrap this up without getting in a plug for self-care.

Change is inevitable. Some changes will be tougher to get through, but I know we will do better if we stick together and work together to make the outcome positive for all. In short the outcome is not pre-destined, we have options. Arm yourself with a few tools for tough situations and know how to lighten up your tough days. We can and will get through these changes and more will come. Exciting isn’t it?

Wishing you a fabulous week of changes.

Warmly,

Sandy

Attitude Adjustment

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

I seem to recall that in the 80′s the phrase ‘attitude adjustment’ was used again and again. I’m not sure why it went away.

In the real estate world, I’ve learned that agents, buyers and sellers say that everything is location, location, location. I’m convinced that in the real world everything is attitude, attitude, attitude.

This is proven to me again and again. One of my favorite clients just announced that she has just completed her best fiscal year ever. She isn’t devoting more time to her business, she’s still the most devoted wife and mom and her church isn’t seeing any less of her either. What’s changed? Her attitude! She expects to bring in more abundance and prosperity, in all facets of her life. And she is doing just that. We continue her coaching sessions and she has added Reiki to her sessions as well as she has also discovered that self-care makes her more relaxed and more productive as well.

On a day to day basis life happens. We always have two options regarding any situation, no matter how dire or fabulous the situation may appear at first glance. We can celebrate the good, or positive aspects of the circumstances or we can bemoan the negative. This applies in all circumstances.

Yesterday, just about every bit of electronics that I own broke down or mal-functioned in some way or another. I couldn’t seem to find the directions to forward calls on my cell phone, then a few hours later it crashed altogether. No cell. My son had completely crashed and reconstructed my laptop less than a week ago, all cleared of viruses. Yesterday it was struck by another virus. It kept going down. For the life of me it seemed that I wasn’t able to figure out how to work the DVD player or the VCR. Two options. Get frustrated and upset, which wouldn’t have solved any of the above. Or enjoy a cup of tea and read one of the books I have around from one of my favorite authors. Guess which I decided to do.

Today, I am assured that the cell phone is covered under insurance and my virus protection found the virus for my computer, isolated and removed. Getting upset yesterday would have made me feel lousy and it wouldn’t have changed the situation. In other words a rotten attitude would simply have resulted in a rotten evening. Instead I enjoyed my book very much, and the tea eventually became a relaxing glass of wine. A quiet evening spent doing one of my favorite things with the dogs. Just what I needed. I woke up refreshed and relaxed today. In fact, I felt so good that I decided today would be more of the same. The only electronic time today is spent writing this blog. I am feeling blessed and grateful today.

We are always with the options of attitude regarding our circumstances. It’s that simple. My step-father, the man I’ve always called Dad, broke his neck and became a quadriplegic at the age of 29. He and my mother decided that wasn’t the end of life. He recovered enough to come home and raise children. She went to nursing school, something she had wanted to do all her life. They used the opportunity to benefit all of us, in fact my dad still refers to each day as a bonus. My parents are amazing life coaches.

This doesn’t mean that there are not frustrations, aggravations or grief in our lives. However, we have the choice to move through these emotions and reach for a slightly better feeling every time we experience them. Attitude counts.

I would encourage you to stop several times a day, notice how you are feeling, what sort of thoughts are going through your mind and what words are coming out of your mouth. If they are harsh, unkind or simply negative I would encourage you to take a few moments. Think and feel your way to a slightly better feeling, a slightly kinder approach. Adjust your attitude and I’m willing to bet your entire life will become just a little bit better.

I wish you a fabulous day and it will be if you choose to see it in just that way.

Warmly,
Sandy

Frustration

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

The theory is that as a holistic life coach and Reiki master, I won’t experience frustration. Yeah, right.

There is a situation with someone in my family that could easily drive me nuts. The particulars are not really all that important. Regarding most issues, I only add my thoughts if they are solicited. This is really a hard and fast rule regarding my children, especially since they are all grown and have every right to make their own decisions. When I keep my opinion to myself until it’s actually asked for, they give it more weight, take it more seriously and actually ask for it quite often.

So, why am I having such a hard time keeping my yap shut this time? This person is simply dragging his feet, refusing to act on a matter that could affect his finances for the rest of his life, and not in a good way. It’s not that he doesn’t have options, he does and they are readily available. He’s simply not taking any action.

If I were my own life coaching client how would I handle this as my coach? Well, I’d probably start by asking a few direct questions.

Q – What is it that you think you can resolve by constantly bringing up this
situation.
A – I would like to motivate him to take positive steps toward resolving this
situation.
Q – Do you have the ability to change the outcome of this situation?
A – No
Q – Is it your responsibility to handle this situation?
A – No
Q – Have you expressed your concern in a calm, rational manner to the person
involved?
A – Yes
Q – What is likely to be the affect on your relationship if you keep bringing this
up this subject?
A – He will stop asking for my advice regarding other situations.
Q – In general, is he responsible? Does he handle his finances and other ‘grown up’
responsibilities well?
A – Yes, he’s generally very responsible.

That last one just wrapped up the question and answer session done for me. The fact is that he is a generally responsible young man, and even if he weren’t, my forcing my opinion on him will not assist him to learn more responsibility.

The truth is that I am the one bringing on my own frustration. I have explored options with him, shown him the benefits and the drawbacks, now it’s up to him to make the decision that is right for him.

I truly have no way of knowing what is in his mind and heart. And it’s none of my business even if I did. It’s time to trust, back off and relax. Sometimes we need to allow others to make mistakes on their own. If he makes a mistake regarding this situation it will be something that he has to deal with, but it may well prevent him from making a much larger mistake in the future.

So, having worked through this, I feel the frustration melting away. I will trust him to make the right decision for his highest good. I have asked him if he minds my sending Reiki to him to help him to make the decision that will serve him the best and then let it go. He’s agreed and I feel as though I am doing what I can to assist him without interfering.

Truly, that’s the only option I have anyway.

My wish for you is that you are able to take positive action steps to change situations that are yours to change. And that you are able to relinquish those that were never yours to begin with.

Warmly,
Sandy

Take a Nap

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

I remember when my boys were small; they would run, play and be on the move seemingly non-stop. If they didn’t slow down every once in a while for a short rest they would inevitably ‘hit the wall’. They would have an emotional melt-down, usually followed by a nap. When they awoke I would see smiles and hear giggles again.

Simple isn’t it? The same happens to adults as well. Many will work far too many hours with far too little rest, becoming frustrated and disappointed as the results they are achieving are not what they wanted. We need to take time to rest! It’s part of that self care that I talk about all of the time.

Each of my clients knows when we meet; I’m going to ask what they have done to nurture and care for themselves. Holistic life coach here, remember. If I’m not resting enough, nourishing myself well and exercising a little bit, there are real consequences. I simply am not going to do my job as well as I would like if I’m hungry and tired. I might not have the energy to go hiking with my husband if I haven’t taken the time to exercise a bit regularly.

How do you take care of yourself? For me, it’s imperative that I have time for a bath every day. I need to be in the water, quiet and alone. It nurtures me on every level. I might spend 5 minutes or an hour, different days I find that I have different needs. I know when it’s time for my bath, not according to the clock, but by the restless and edgy feeling that I begin to experience. Taking that time gives me what I need.

Even my dog Indy knows what he needs, and because he has never been taught not to ask for what he needs he will ask me to take him for a walk, he needs exercise. Alright, I’m in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, sometimes he has to settle for the treadmill, but the point is that he is a more contented, well behaved dog when his needs are met.

This is not complicated at all. I realize that it’s often difficult to eat, sleep and exercise as we know we should. But I encourage you to put yourself on the list of top priorities. If you need a vacation but simply cannot take the time, how about a 15 of meditation in a quiet room. Allow yourself to feel the rest and appreciate how much better you feel afterwards. Maybe you feel like you should be at the gym everyday but it’s not going to happen. You might consider taking a short walk with your family, a friend or enjoy the peace and quiet of a short walk by yourself in the park.

Little changes to take care of yourself may yield big results. A dear friend who is deeply faithful was feeling stretched because she simply felt she was not devoting any time to her faith. This was on her mind frequently, affecting her work and other day to day activities because she felt this lack which was so important for her. Simply allowing herself a scheduled time to practice and study a little bit has helped her tremendously.

I’m not going to tell you that I eat right all the time, sleep every night and exercise faithfully. Instead I have learned to listen to myself and to acknowledge what my body; mind and emotions are telling me that I need. Remembering my own life coach and what she taught me, I pay attention to that need and nurture myself. When I’m feeling better, I’m more productive and everyone around me is happier as well.

This week I encourage you to take a nap. Enjoy the feeling of refreshment from 20 minutes with your eyes closed, not thinking about or doing anything. Notice how happy you feel when you awake. And then do it again the next day, and the next…

With warmth and a yawn,
Sandy

A Positive Change of Viewpoint

Saturday, October 25th, 2008

She needed to do a business plan for her new business. It was required for her to move forward and she was only too well aware of that detail. She had never done a business plan; always felt they were far too restrictive, indeed she feared that it would box her in more than offer her a roadmap to the future.

She decided that if she had to get this done, she would do it correctly. So she searched the library for books on business plan. They were strewn all over her kitchen table, opened to various pages. She also searched the internet, bookmarking site after site for reference. Still when she sat down to work on this plan she felt frustrated and made little progress.

Finally one day she was lamenting her lack of progress to someone who knew her very well. He told her not to worry about it. Instead of writing this plan according to someone else’s rules, simply write it according to her own rules and to suit her personality and business. Truly an ah-ha moment for her. That simple suggestion which seems so obvious in hindsight was all that she needed. She collected all of the books from her table and set them aside. Closed up all of the internet sites and got to work. In no time she had her outline and from there it was easy. Several hours of steady work later she realized that she had indeed written the business plan that was ideal for her and her business.

The point of this little story is simple really, and I have no doubt that you already know just what that point is. Hopefully the life coach inside of your head will nudge you to try to look at any situation or problem from more than one vantage point. The business plan felt insurmountable to her when she looked at it from a traditional point of view, but as soon as she shifted, she felt optimistic and enthusiastic. From there she was able to soar.

When she shared her frustration with someone who knew her and her business it was quite a release for her. The solution was very clear to her friend and when he shared his suggestion with her she was finally able to see everything in a whole new light. Perhaps next time she is frustrated and becoming stressed she will seek out this friend and have a simple chat with him. Lesson learned from her own personal life coach. What a great friend to have!

I hope that you have someone to share frustrations with and that they are able to help you to shift your point of view from frustration to fabulous enthusiasm.

Warmly,
Sandy

Subtle or direct, what works for you?

Saturday, September 13th, 2008

My eldest son recently married a wonderful young woman. While we were chatting one day she mentioned something about my son not always picking up subtle hints. I suggested giving up on the hints and taking a more direct approach, state exactly what she would like him to do. They are discovering so much about each other and realizing they each have slightly different ways of communicating. They’re working at figuring it out; I think they’ll be fine. That’s both the mom in me and the life coach speaking.

Since that little chat, I have given this a lot of thought. It’s occurred to me that a lot of aggravation and disappointment is caused by this simple type of misunderstanding. If she keeps dropping hints and he never acts on them, her feelings may be hurt and then she could very likely become angry because she thinks that he is simply being inconsiderate. From his point of view, he thinks all is well. After all, no one has informed him of anything different. Oh maybe she’s feeling a bit grumpy, but he asked if anything was bothering her and she said no, so it must be that she needs a nap. Ug

Time for a bit of life coaching here. It’s really pretty basic and so simple that you already know what I’m going to say, I’m sure.

They need to have a little talk about communication styles. It needs to be out loud, in actual words, face to face and preferably with smiles on their faces. She probably needs to bite the bullet and simply be more direct with him. For example, instead of piling all of his dirty socks on top of his favorite baseball cap, thinking this will convince him to put them in the clothes hamper, she probably needs to ask him to put them in the hamper. For his part, he needs to make an actual effort to communicate clearly as well and also when he is really not clear about what are probably hints…ask! Again with a smile. Think of how much aggravation will be avoided.

I found that when my boys grew up and moved away from home I missed them. Who knew? While I had told them I would appreciate hearing from them often the truth is that their idea of often and mine were incredibly different. I found myself missing them and wanting to hear from them more frequently. How did I fix this? My solution was to phone and leave a message, telling me that I need to hear them tell me how much they loved, adored and missed me and that when they had done this I wouldn’t call them for another week or so. Within a day or two I would get a call from a smiling boy (you can always hear the smile over the phone) and he would tell me just what I needed to hear. I do the same thing with my husband. If I’m feeling a bit neglected, I simply ask him to tell me that he loves me, how fabulous he thinks I am and how lucky we are to be together. He will smile and repeat everything that I have asked him to say, what a great guy! I’m happy because I know he means it, he’s happy because he knows that he’s given me exactly what I needed at the moment. We’re both feeling happy and no one is feeling neglected or misunderstood.

My point here is that as nice as it would be for us to communicate through hints and clues, for many of us it simply is not all that effective. In this day of very busy lives, we often don’t have the luxury of face to face communication. In the past we did have that luxury and so much of our communication was body language, hints and subtleties were much more easily understood. Since we now rely on phone calls, emails and quick little chats with one another, we need to be sure that we are easily understood. When we speak calmly, clearly and directly we are much more likely to have our needs and desires understood and that makes it much more likely they will be met.

Please clearly understand, I wish you a fabulous day,
Sandy

Take good care of yourself

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Do you take time to take care of yourself?

When we are sitting in the airplane the airline attendant gives us emergency instructions. One of the first things the attendant says is that if the oxygen mask comes down, we need to put on our own before turning to help others. The reason is that you will be of no assistance to anyone if you are unconscious.

It’s not selfish to take time to relax and refresh ourselves. In fact, it’s necessary. What works for you? Meditation? Talking to a close friend? Exercise? There are so many options. Taking a bit of time for ourselves allows us to release stress and find relief. We allow ourselves to feel relaxed and often find a bit of humor in what frustrated us only a short time ago. These positive shifts in attitude will all lead us to be happier and more productive, which in turn allows us to serve ourselves and others much better.

Take some time for yourself, a few minutes, a few days or even a few weeks. You know what you can carve out of your schedule. Do it on a regular basis and watch yourself become more relaxed, calmer and more joyful, as you experience these positive shifts in your emotions you will also find that you are becoming more abundant and prosperous in your life as well. If you still feel as though it’s selfish to take care of yourself – think of it this way, your life coach not only gives you permission, but makes self-care a definite assignment!

Wishing you a day in which you discover how taking care of you helps you to be happier and more productive. Fabulous!

With warmth,
Sandy

Take action

Friday, August 8th, 2008

He’s a list maker. That’s a very good thing for him. His lists are his goals, what he expects to achieve for the day, week or even longer.

The problem? These lists were completely overwhelming him. As he would review these lists again and again, he would feel his stress mount and he became frustrated and almost paralyzed with indecision.

The solution? He started making shorter lists and immediately taking action. If his list today has to do with work duties, he will quickly jot down the most pressing matters. Then before he has time to become worried or stressed, he simply takes care of the first thing on his list. One goal accomplished! Crossing that off, he feels less pressure and is more energized to take on the next task. Each time he crosses off a task or goal, he realizes a success.

He still makes lists, but now he looks forward to writing down these goals. He knows that with each one he accomplishes he feels better about himself. He has come to realize that this makes him calmer at work, more productive and more assertive as well.

This may not work for everyone, but it’s been a wonderful step forward for him.

Do you make lists? How do those lists make you feel? Do they overwhelm you or are they simply a road map to accomplishing your goals successfully?

Wishing you a fabulous day as you realize that action leads to your success.

With warmth,
Sandy