Thanks Indy!

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

Indy in deep thought.

If you’ve ever read my blog before, or taken a walk through my website, you probably know quite a bit about me. You know that I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, beautiful but brrrrrrrr cold today. You know that I’m a holistic life coach, that I believe it’s impossible to compartmentalize our lives all that much. And you probably know that I live with a dog. Not just a dog, but a DOG. Indiana, who was named for the movie character Indiana Jones, is a very good representative of the boxer breed. He’s a very pretty boy, with a wonderful smooshy face that actually smiles when he’s happy. Energetic, friendly, playful and loving, he’s also lazy, sweet, cuddly and communicates his happiness or disappointment very clearly. It turns out that Indy also teaches me, on an almost daily basis.

Recently a friend of mine visited. Along with her came her wonderful vizslas. Her boy is named Tugger and her sweet little girl is Max. Now Tugger and Max had never been to my home before, so while they were enthusiastic to go somewhere new they were also a bit shy about meeting a new friend in a new home. Indy was just beside himself. He’s usually very exuberant about meeting new dogs and while generally polite, has been known to offer a few boxer punches to get the play going. Apparently this time, Indy was able to understand the caution of his guests. What followed was very interesting and once again reminded me of some very clear lessons.

All of the dogs went into the back yard. Max and Tugger began exploring, but ignoring Indy. Meanwhile Indy went into serious play mode. In the doggy world it’s polite to ask another dog to play and then to wait for a response. This is what an exuberant Indiana did. He ran all around Tugger and Max, he offered play bows and then waited at a polite distance for a response. Indy tossed his toys their way and did everything he could to entice a game of chase or wrestling. Meanwhile Max and Tugger became more comfortable with the yard and house. They got closer to Indy but didn’t engage in play. Eventually all three dogs came into the house and settled into naps in the same room.

Why did I tell you all of this? Besides telling you that I’m very pleased about my Indiana showing good doggy manners, I also think that the dogs were demonstrating very clear lessons. Indy was offering friendship and playtime, he even offered his toys. Max and Tugger were a bit shy but still friendly and very polite. They did not snarl or growl, they simply told Indy that they weren’t quite ready for that kind of closeness. None of them took it personally! For me that was the lesson. It sounds simple enough, but it can be quite hard to learn and even harder to actually practice.

Here we go, life coach lesson time. Don’t take anything personally. When Indy made the offer to play it was not accepted by Max or Tugger. That didn’t have anything to do with Indiana personally; it had to do with their not being familiar with the house, yard or Indy. Indy didn’t take it as a personal rebuff; he simply understood that they had their own stuff to work through. Wow! It sounds simple enough, but it’s really huge. Did you ever say hello to someone who didn’t respond? Or who didn’t respond in a friendly manner? It’s tough sometimes to remember that we have no idea what’s going on in that person’s life at the moment. Maybe they have a problem that they can’t shake, maybe they simply didn’t hear. We don’t know. At the same time if we take it personally, we make have our feelings hurt and we could become angry or sad. Why? It had nothing to do with us personally. When we are able to realize that what others say and do has nothing to do with us, that it really is all about them, going through day to day interactions becomes much easier.

So, next time you are in the grocery store and someone is rude or unfriendly, try not to take it personally or to respond in kind. Keep in mind that that person may have something heavy on their mind and let it go. You’ll feel better and you will not have done anything to make the other person’s day worse, you may well have helped them to feel slightly better by your neutral or kind manner.

That’s it. Once again Indy and his new pals reminded me of a very simple yet very powerful lesson. Don’t take anything personally. Thanks Indy, Tugger and Max, I really appreciate it.

Wishing you a fabulous day filled with simple, sweet reminders of this lesson.

With warmth,
Sandy

Goals, Plans and Dreams

Saturday, December 6th, 2008

Do you have goals? What do you hope to accomplish? Where do you intend to go? What are your dreams?

I encourage you to take some serious time to think about these questions. After all, how can you possible work out a strategy for achieving goals if you don’t know what they are? I encourage you to shoot for the moon, truly. Sit down with a piece of paper and pen, or at your computer, whatever works for you. Jot down every desire, everything you dream of doing, everything you hope and intend to be, everywhere you plan to go, all that you intend to bring into your life. Brainstorm. Write it all down. You might be very surprised at some of the things you discover about yourself.

A few months ago I decided to make a vision board. I really thought this would be a very simple process. I’m a grown woman after all; I have a pretty darned good idea what I want, where I want to go, etc. And so I sat down thinking I’d have this done in very short order. Not so much. It took me half of forever. I used magazines, newspapers, etc.

The idea was to cut out pictures, words and phrases that appealed to me. This helped me to focus and define my goals and dreams. Then, using a glue stick, apply these pictures, words and phrases to my posterboard, creating my vision board.

The first evening it took hours. For some reason almost none of the pictures spoke to me at all, however words felt as though they were practically jumping off of the pages at me. I found many words describing feelings, thoughts and ideas that truly spoke to me. I cut them out and glued them to vision board. It took me hours. The next day, I felt a need to go back to my vision board. I pulled out the magazines again, but now the pictures seemed to speak to me, not the words at all. I found myself pulled again and again to pictures of water of all sorts, gardens of many types, etc. I let instinct guide me and I truly enjoyed putting my vision board together.

What does a vision board have to do with goals? Well, my vision board was about the places I intend to go, the gardens I intend to have, etc. My intentions are my goals. It’s been proven again and again that we are much more likely to reach our goals if we write them down and place them somewhere that we can see them daily. A vision board can be a list of goals, pictures, or whatever speaks to you. I encourage you to make one soon, or 15 if that’s better for you!

A few days ago I was chatting with a client about vision boards and realized that I need to work on a new one. Except that now I don’t want one board. I want or perhaps more correctly, I need to make several. One is about travel, the trips that I intend to take. Another is about the home that I intend to live in; a third is about personal health and fitness. I think you get the idea.

I would encourage you to set some goals, really allow yourself to think as big as your heart will allow. Imagine yourself accomplishing these goals, think about how you will feel when you achieve them and enjoy the feeling. Get excited! Then write them down, draw them, take photos, cut out pictures, whatever speaks to you. Put them on one or more vision boards and keep this board somewhere that you are able to focus on it for at least 5 minutes a day. Keep it somewhere that you are able to see it frequently. Read the words aloud and allow yourself to feel the excitement that you know you will feel as you drive that amazing car (if a new car is one of your goals), smell the fragrances, feel the elation, hear the sounds, really immerse yourself totally in the success that you intend to experience.

The fact is that we are much more likely to achieve that which we are able to visualize, feel and experience in our hearts. So give it a shot.

Wishing you a fabulous time as you discover all of your goals, plans and dreams.

With warmth,
Sandy

Did I Do That?

Saturday, November 22nd, 2008

What we think about does happen. I firmly believe that. I’m sure you’ve heard or read the theory at some point. Recently ‘The Secret’ has become very well known. Many other authors and speakers have also been spreading the word all over the world.

The theory is pretty simple and straight forward. What we think about, where we put our attention will come to be our reality. Most of us have heard one version or another of this theory for most of our lives. Think about it. ‘What comes around, goes around.’ ‘You will reap what you sow.’ ‘You get what you ask for.’ It all makes perfect sense to me.

One of my favorite people in the world was my Uncle Oren. He always thought of himself as a lucky man. And he was! When he and my aunt were in the process of adopting their son, he entered a contest for baby diapers. Uncle Oren won. Over the next 25 years or so he continued to win, again and again. He won a Suburban, a $5000. lottery, a John Deere tractor with Green Bay Packers painting and logo on it. He also won a hunting rifle and a Harley Davidson telephone. The list goes on and on. When my wonderful, optimistic Uncle Oren entered a contest he simply expected to win. He once told my Aunt Nancy as he was leaving for work that she should call him when the call came in to announce his winning. Guess what happened only a few hours later. I loved that attitude about him, as did everyone who knew him.

I’ve been thinking lately that I wanted to replace my eyeglasses. They were six years old, the lenses were scratched and they were a undoubtedly a bit out of style. Still, they were functional and I couldn’t really think of a good reason to simply go out and replace them. Or could I? I had been thinking a good bit about getting new glasses, even talked to a friend about it. Then I sort of forgot about the issue. I believe I had set the process in motion. I was driving the other day, my glasses were irritating me so I took them off and set them in my lap. Very uncharacteristic of me. Later I got out of the vehicle and completely forgot about the glasses. Only after I had driven away again did I remember what had most likely happened. Sure enough upon returning I found that I had run over my glasses with my truck. Ooops. Guess who now needed new glasses and really had no good way to avoid it. I believe that this happened because I expected to replace the glasses, so that’s just what the universe helped me to arrange.

The reason I share this is that as a life coach I would like all of us to realize that we are in control of our future. We have the ability to bring happiness or unhappiness in to our lives. We can think about, expect and plan for prosperity and as long as we are focusing on actual prosperity, not lack, bills and the fact that it hasn’t happened yet, it will indeed come to exist in our lives.

Now this may or may not happen overnight. We need to focus our attention on what we actually want, completely release what we do not want. In other words, expect only the positive. It takes practice but I know it’s something that we are all able to accomplish, a bit today, a bit more tomorrow.

There will undoubtedly be more that I share about this in the future, in fact I expect that soon I’ll feel the need to hold a workshop on the subject. In the meantime, I encourage you to give it a try. Ask for the wonderful things that you would like to have in your life, expect them to happen and then imagine them happening to you right now. I’d like to hear how it works out for you.

Wishing you a day filled with positive, fabulous thoughts.

Warmly,
Sandy

The Amazing Toddler

Saturday, November 15th, 2008

Observe the amazing toddler. They know who they like and trust. Even better, they never hesitate to show it! If a small child likes you they smile, giggle and follow you around. You get lots of wet, slimy, wonderful kisses. Lots of sticky jelly hugs. And every time you take a step that wonderful child is under your feet. Why? Because they like you! And when a toddler or small child likes you, they don’t hesitate at all to show it, in every possible way. It’s great!

Small children are the life coaches teaching us what we once knew, and I hope that we are willing to re-learn. I’m convinced that the world would be a much better, certainly a much happier place if we would take a page from the book of toddlers. Too often we are uncomfortable telling someone that we like them. Much too often we don’t tell others that we love them.

I occurs to me that there are many people I really like that may not know how I feel about them. It’s time to fix that, time to take positive action. I have no business suggesting to others that they get going on this unless I’m willing to take some action myself. So, I am going to be sure that I stop holding back. I will hug more, smile more and tell others how much I like and appreciate them, for who they are and for what I feel when I am with them. When it comes to those that I love, I realize that I take them for granted far too often. While I tell them often that I love them, it’s time to tell them why I love them and how grateful I am to have them in my life.

I encourage you to live a day offering your sincere appreciation for friends and love ones. Give it one day, I bet you’ll feel so good that you decide to do it again and again.

Wishing you a day filled with the fabulous feelings of friendship and love.

Warmly,
Sandy

Be a Kid Again

Saturday, November 1st, 2008

It turns out that our kids are always teaching us lessons. All three are grown and in fact the eldest is married. Each of them has been on their own since he was eighteen years old, they have responsible jobs, and if you would meet any of them one on one you would have an impression of average young men. But when they are all together, they resume the roles they had when they were all less than 10 years old. It’s a hoot!

My husband and I joined them at our place at the lake yesterday, the place where everyone can just completely relax and have fun. As soon as they heard us arrive, I heard one of them call out ‘Indy’s here!’ Yes, they really were more excited to see the dog than their Dad and me, that’s okay; he was incredibly, silly happy to see all of his kids too.

As soon as we got in the house the stories began. Each one upping the ante just a bit when it came his turn to get a word in edgewise. For some reason the lampshades were all slightly askew and I actually asked how in the world lampshades on standing lamps got knocked awry. Silly me. It didn’t take long for the story-telling and needling each other to move on to a bit of ‘nudging’ one another as they walked around. Oh yeah, that’s how the lampshades get in that condition! How in the world had I forgotten? They teased one another and had the dog running from one to the other for what seemed like forever. In short, they all acted like they were little boys again.

Two of them took Indy for a walk so that Indy could see the beautiful Wisconsin autumn. When they returned, another enticed Indy into a game of chase. They ran up and down the hill, hiding and then pouncing when the other came into view. The third boy was hanging out with his Dad, puttering with the boat as they got ready to put it away for the winter. Too much chattering and laughing was heard for it to have been efficient, but they got the job done.

Later they ‘discovered’ the games that have been on the shelf in the family room for the four years that we have been here. I heard one yell ‘We have Battleship and Scrabble!’ the others came running. From there on I heard good-natured accusations of cheating, shouts of surprise and not just laughing, but giggling as they tried to out-smart each other. No one was exempt, the daughter-in-law was in the middle of it all and even my husband was trying to make up words for Scrabble.

I want to thank all four of our kids (yes, we consider our beautiful daughter-in-law to be one of our kids now) for reminding us to relax, let go and have fun. They are all responsible adults in their day jobs, but when they are together they remember to enjoy each other and laugh. Simply laugh. Once again, I’ve been reminded that most of us have amazing life coaches in our lives; we just need to look around and pay a bit of attention.

So just for today, I suggest that you take a trip down memory lane. Try to remember that fabulous feeling of laughing and giggling. Remember the mud smooshing through your toes on a warm spring day, the feeling of flying a kite, playing in a leaf pile or making a snowman. Whatever it is that makes you feel like a happy kid again. Please take a few minutes, close your eyes and try to recall. Let yourself feel the happiness, the smooshy mud, the cool breeze, the warmth of sun on your face as you lay in the grass and watched clouds float by. And don’t forget to allow yourself to chuckle, grin, laugh and giggle.

I wish you a fabulous day recalling happy memories and making new memories to recall in the future.

With warmth,
Sandy

Friends

Saturday, September 27th, 2008

I am blessed to have wonderful friends. Some are actually family (yes, it’s okay to be friends with family! lol). I still have some friends from grade school that I only see or have the opportunity to get together with once every few years. When we get together it’s as though we are still kids, hanging out during the Wisconsin winter and finding so much to do to keep ourselves busy. Other friends are of more recent acquaintance, some I’ve known for 20 years and others less than a year. Yet I find that every year they are more and more precious to me.

From the life coaching point of view I’ve come to realize that it makes sense to have such a broad range of friends. Each friend or group of friends has come to be very special to me and has supported me at different times in my life, I never want to forget or stop appreciating that love and support.

The friends of my childhood and teenage years know a Sandy that has grown and changed in amazing ways. Who would have ever thought that the quick tempered rather shy girl would have become a life coach? And these friends have grown and changed as well, when we get together we reminisce and appreciate the qualities that drew us together long ago, all over again.

Some very important friends were people that I came to know when I was raising my children. Most of them were also raising kids; some of us had our boys in Scouts together, shared church activities, sports, etc. Our kids and these activities gave us a strong connection and some of these friendships have become much more back-burner since the kids have all grown. They’re still very important and the fondness I have for them hasn’t dwindled, I simply see them much less often. They kept me sane through the child-rearing years and for that I’ll always have a special place for them in my heart.

I have gardening buddies. They share my love of puttering in the dirt. We share plants, plans for our yards, frustrations with lack or excess of water, sun, etc. These amazing people all make me feel very optimistic; they are all looking forward to a better, more beautiful tomorrow.

Some of my more recent friends share my personal interests much more than the interests of my husband and children. It makes sense, my boys have grown, my husband has his own interests and I’m now making friends much like those of my childhood, are much more tuned in to my personality, hobbies and interests. It’s very exciting!

All in all I would like to thank my friends, new and old. Each one of you has loved and supported me in ways that you probably are not even aware of. In many ways, each of you has been a wonderful life coach, you have taught me, motivated me and pushed me to grow. I thank each and every one of you for being my friend.

I wish you a day filled with love and support from fabulous friends.

Warmly,
Sandy

Discover Your Strengths

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

From the time we are very small we begin realizing that we are really good at some things, and not so good at others. Thats normal and perfectly okay!

As we get a bit older we start learning that the skills that come naturally and easily to us are usually the things that we are good at and they are called our strengths. We may struggle with other tasks or skills and generally classify them as our weaknesses. It seems that from that time on we are told that we need to work on these weaknesses; however, it seems that very little emphasis is put on building our strengths in comparison.

Fast forward to adulthood and the lives we lead. Often the emphasis is still on our weaknesses, seldom on our strengths. I would encourage you to not spend quite so much time working on the things that you struggle with, unless of course they are some of the basic skills necessary for a comfortable life.

From the life coaching point of view, it makes sense to me to spend more energy on natural strengths, skills and talents. For instance, perhaps you love writing, but hate working with numbers. Since you love to write a fascinating story it makes sense to build on this, research education and career options, from journalism to child book author, check it all out and see what appeals to you. Then run with it! It’s no coincidence that your greatest strengths and talents are often the activities that bring you the greatest happiness and joy.

Now, I’m not saying that you should ignore all your trouble-spots, or weaknesses. You may not enjoy math and it may be a struggle, but you still need to be proficient enough in basic math to double check your receipts, balance your checkbook, etc. The basics need to be in place to keep your life manageable. But after those basics are covered, I say work on your strengths.

When we embrace our natural talents, work becomes in many ways, like play. We come to love what we do and when we truly enjoy our work we usually get to be very good at it, when we excel at our work we are most likely to make excellent money. Making good money gives us more options in the rest of our life. And it goes on and on and on.

So, I suggest that we all work on our strengths, enjoy them, bask in the feeling of doing what we love and enjoy the sweet rewards that come along.

Wishing you a day spent discovering that your fabulous strengths and talents can also bring you great pleasure, great abundance and prosperity.

Warmly,
Sandy

Live for Today

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Do you have special things that you are saving to use on a special day?

When I got married I received crystal bowls, glasses, etc. I love glass and they were beautiful. However, my husband and I were not holding any formal dinners to use our beautiful crystal, we were much more likely to have casual backyard BBQ’s.

When our boys got to be the age of curiosity they wanted to know all about the pretty glass. Well, it occurred to me one day that it was to be used!! It had not been given to us to sit in a cabinet, but rather to be used and enjoyed. From that day forward, we made a huge salad a few times a week in one of the beautiful bowls. If there was dessert, pudding, Jell-O, ice cream, you name it; we served it in the pretty bowls or glasses. It made the boys feel so grown up and trusted and very special to use the beautiful glassware. And I loved seeing it used.

My point is that we all have special things‚ that we are saving for a special day. Why not make today your special day? Wear your favorite dress! Have that favorite wine, call those friends that you think about but never find the time to call. It’s tough not to feel wonderful when you are wearing your finery, talking to your favorite people and smiling all the time.

Everyday is a wonderful gift. We don’t know if we will be here tomorrow. So of course make plans for your future, but be sure to live for today. Now is what is important!  Smile, relax, and speak with love and hope and compassion. Enjoy the moment and you will find yourself going to bed tonight with a beautiful smile and a feeling of calm, joy and serenity.

I wish for you a fabulous day spent enjoying the now.

Warmly,
Sandy

Kick off!

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

It’s about time to get this blog off the ground. What will you find here? This and that. You remember that saying about ‘everything but the kitchen sink’? Well, that pretty much covers it.

Thoughts, experiences, plans, events and who knows what else. I expect that it will be pretty light most of the time, but there is no doubt that it will be a bit more profound and meaningful every now and then.

My intention is to learn by sharing. I invite you to share as well.

So, thanks for checking out Wisecracks.

Wishing you a day filled with serenity and joy, in short a fabulous day!

Warmly,
Sandy