Thanks Indy!

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

Indy in deep thought.

If you’ve ever read my blog before, or taken a walk through my website, you probably know quite a bit about me. You know that I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, beautiful but brrrrrrrr cold today. You know that I’m a holistic life coach, that I believe it’s impossible to compartmentalize our lives all that much. And you probably know that I live with a dog. Not just a dog, but a DOG. Indiana, who was named for the movie character Indiana Jones, is a very good representative of the boxer breed. He’s a very pretty boy, with a wonderful smooshy face that actually smiles when he’s happy. Energetic, friendly, playful and loving, he’s also lazy, sweet, cuddly and communicates his happiness or disappointment very clearly. It turns out that Indy also teaches me, on an almost daily basis.

Recently a friend of mine visited. Along with her came her wonderful vizslas. Her boy is named Tugger and her sweet little girl is Max. Now Tugger and Max had never been to my home before, so while they were enthusiastic to go somewhere new they were also a bit shy about meeting a new friend in a new home. Indy was just beside himself. He’s usually very exuberant about meeting new dogs and while generally polite, has been known to offer a few boxer punches to get the play going. Apparently this time, Indy was able to understand the caution of his guests. What followed was very interesting and once again reminded me of some very clear lessons.

All of the dogs went into the back yard. Max and Tugger began exploring, but ignoring Indy. Meanwhile Indy went into serious play mode. In the doggy world it’s polite to ask another dog to play and then to wait for a response. This is what an exuberant Indiana did. He ran all around Tugger and Max, he offered play bows and then waited at a polite distance for a response. Indy tossed his toys their way and did everything he could to entice a game of chase or wrestling. Meanwhile Max and Tugger became more comfortable with the yard and house. They got closer to Indy but didn’t engage in play. Eventually all three dogs came into the house and settled into naps in the same room.

Why did I tell you all of this? Besides telling you that I’m very pleased about my Indiana showing good doggy manners, I also think that the dogs were demonstrating very clear lessons. Indy was offering friendship and playtime, he even offered his toys. Max and Tugger were a bit shy but still friendly and very polite. They did not snarl or growl, they simply told Indy that they weren’t quite ready for that kind of closeness. None of them took it personally! For me that was the lesson. It sounds simple enough, but it can be quite hard to learn and even harder to actually practice.

Here we go, life coach lesson time. Don’t take anything personally. When Indy made the offer to play it was not accepted by Max or Tugger. That didn’t have anything to do with Indiana personally; it had to do with their not being familiar with the house, yard or Indy. Indy didn’t take it as a personal rebuff; he simply understood that they had their own stuff to work through. Wow! It sounds simple enough, but it’s really huge. Did you ever say hello to someone who didn’t respond? Or who didn’t respond in a friendly manner? It’s tough sometimes to remember that we have no idea what’s going on in that person’s life at the moment. Maybe they have a problem that they can’t shake, maybe they simply didn’t hear. We don’t know. At the same time if we take it personally, we make have our feelings hurt and we could become angry or sad. Why? It had nothing to do with us personally. When we are able to realize that what others say and do has nothing to do with us, that it really is all about them, going through day to day interactions becomes much easier.

So, next time you are in the grocery store and someone is rude or unfriendly, try not to take it personally or to respond in kind. Keep in mind that that person may have something heavy on their mind and let it go. You’ll feel better and you will not have done anything to make the other person’s day worse, you may well have helped them to feel slightly better by your neutral or kind manner.

That’s it. Once again Indy and his new pals reminded me of a very simple yet very powerful lesson. Don’t take anything personally. Thanks Indy, Tugger and Max, I really appreciate it.

Wishing you a fabulous day filled with simple, sweet reminders of this lesson.

With warmth,
Sandy

Time to Work Together

Saturday, November 8th, 2008

Okay, it’s settled. The election was held a few days ago and Americans have selected Mr. Barack Obama to be the next president of United States.

Fortunately, the many months of political advertisements are over. It’s time to stop criticizing the candidates and arguing about which party has the best ideas for our country. It’s time to show support and respect for our new president-elect.

Think what we can do when we all work together! Americans are by nature, optimistic, loving, hardworking people. I am convinced that when we decide to respect the differences we have in opinions, beliefs and life experience and instead focus on what we can accomplish by working together that we will move forward in a most positive way.

I’d like to suggest that all of us find a way to thank all of the past presidents, including President Bush who will soon be leaving office. Each of these men was elected by us; Americans. I believe they have each served to the best of their ability and for that they have my thanks and respect; I hope they have yours as well.

So now it’s time to look forward. Change can be very exciting and it can be quite wonderful. Let’s pull together, because when we support and respect one another we can’t help but improve the situation of all of us. When we improve our personal situations, we improve our communities and that just like the ripple on a pond, the effects cannot help but to spread to others.

Congratulations fellow Americans, we have made history by electing Mr. Obama. Now let’s show the world that once again, we support each other, we respect each other and we will lift one another up to become a stronger, healthier nation.

Warmly,
Sandy