Thanks Indy!

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

Indy in deep thought.

If you’ve ever read my blog before, or taken a walk through my website, you probably know quite a bit about me. You know that I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, beautiful but brrrrrrrr cold today. You know that I’m a holistic life coach, that I believe it’s impossible to compartmentalize our lives all that much. And you probably know that I live with a dog. Not just a dog, but a DOG. Indiana, who was named for the movie character Indiana Jones, is a very good representative of the boxer breed. He’s a very pretty boy, with a wonderful smooshy face that actually smiles when he’s happy. Energetic, friendly, playful and loving, he’s also lazy, sweet, cuddly and communicates his happiness or disappointment very clearly. It turns out that Indy also teaches me, on an almost daily basis.

Recently a friend of mine visited. Along with her came her wonderful vizslas. Her boy is named Tugger and her sweet little girl is Max. Now Tugger and Max had never been to my home before, so while they were enthusiastic to go somewhere new they were also a bit shy about meeting a new friend in a new home. Indy was just beside himself. He’s usually very exuberant about meeting new dogs and while generally polite, has been known to offer a few boxer punches to get the play going. Apparently this time, Indy was able to understand the caution of his guests. What followed was very interesting and once again reminded me of some very clear lessons.

All of the dogs went into the back yard. Max and Tugger began exploring, but ignoring Indy. Meanwhile Indy went into serious play mode. In the doggy world it’s polite to ask another dog to play and then to wait for a response. This is what an exuberant Indiana did. He ran all around Tugger and Max, he offered play bows and then waited at a polite distance for a response. Indy tossed his toys their way and did everything he could to entice a game of chase or wrestling. Meanwhile Max and Tugger became more comfortable with the yard and house. They got closer to Indy but didn’t engage in play. Eventually all three dogs came into the house and settled into naps in the same room.

Why did I tell you all of this? Besides telling you that I’m very pleased about my Indiana showing good doggy manners, I also think that the dogs were demonstrating very clear lessons. Indy was offering friendship and playtime, he even offered his toys. Max and Tugger were a bit shy but still friendly and very polite. They did not snarl or growl, they simply told Indy that they weren’t quite ready for that kind of closeness. None of them took it personally! For me that was the lesson. It sounds simple enough, but it can be quite hard to learn and even harder to actually practice.

Here we go, life coach lesson time. Don’t take anything personally. When Indy made the offer to play it was not accepted by Max or Tugger. That didn’t have anything to do with Indiana personally; it had to do with their not being familiar with the house, yard or Indy. Indy didn’t take it as a personal rebuff; he simply understood that they had their own stuff to work through. Wow! It sounds simple enough, but it’s really huge. Did you ever say hello to someone who didn’t respond? Or who didn’t respond in a friendly manner? It’s tough sometimes to remember that we have no idea what’s going on in that person’s life at the moment. Maybe they have a problem that they can’t shake, maybe they simply didn’t hear. We don’t know. At the same time if we take it personally, we make have our feelings hurt and we could become angry or sad. Why? It had nothing to do with us personally. When we are able to realize that what others say and do has nothing to do with us, that it really is all about them, going through day to day interactions becomes much easier.

So, next time you are in the grocery store and someone is rude or unfriendly, try not to take it personally or to respond in kind. Keep in mind that that person may have something heavy on their mind and let it go. You’ll feel better and you will not have done anything to make the other person’s day worse, you may well have helped them to feel slightly better by your neutral or kind manner.

That’s it. Once again Indy and his new pals reminded me of a very simple yet very powerful lesson. Don’t take anything personally. Thanks Indy, Tugger and Max, I really appreciate it.

Wishing you a fabulous day filled with simple, sweet reminders of this lesson.

With warmth,
Sandy

Thanks for the Blue Water

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

We’re all familiar with the line ‘little things mean a lot’. I think that’s true, little things are very important. Small compliments make us feel warm inside and leave us smiling for hours, sometimes days.

We have three grown sons. One of them sold his condo last spring and has spent most of the time between then and now traveling, working from his laptop where ever he may be at the moment. He has recently come back to town for a visit and has been staying with us. During this time we have of course tried to do what we can do make him feel at home. Nothing major, his favorite peanut butter cookies made with crunchy peanut butter, his favorite meals now and then and of course there’s the blue toilet water. When he was a little boy he was always so excited when I would use the blue toilet bowl cleansing tablets, so I’ve been using them again since he came home. Apparently he noticed and really appreciated this because he came up to me one day, gave me a big hug and said ‘thanks for the blue water, I love that!.

Every time I think about that comment, hug and grin it makes me feel warm and I know that I’ve got a silly grin on my face. I appreciate that he made it a point to tell me about his excitement. It’s motivated me as well. When I think about his comment it reminds me that it doesn’t take much to lift someone’s spirits. What a wonderful, easy way to make myself and others feel better. How cool is that?

As a life coach I encourage you to take positive action. Keep in mind how little things, small kind gestures, friendly smiles and genuinely friendly comments affect you. Then take the opportunity to pass along these gestures, smiles and comments to others. They’ll feel good, you’ll feel good. I do believe that’s a win for all. And if I may make a suggestion, you might want to try the blue water to get even more smiles.

Wishing you a fabulous day, filled with little things that make you smile.

Warmly,
Sandy

Happy New Year 2009

Monday, December 29th, 2008

It’s here again, that time of year when we all make New Year’s resolutions. Actually I’m all for resolutions, goals, intentions. Let’s go for it! Only this time, I’d like to be serious about it. Too often in the past I’ve made resolutions that I knew I wouldn’t even really attempt to keep. You know the type, ‘I resolve to lose 20 pounds and get in the best shape of my life…by February 1st’. That sort of resolution isn’t really meant to work; it’s just something to say before toasting to the New Year.

As a life coach it’s very important to me that I set my goals, plan my resolutions with the intention of carrying through with them. Now that doesn’t mean to make them easy, no-brainer goals, not at all. I still believe in shooting for the stars, but I’d like to do it in a manner that I actually believe will be completely successful.

So, here’s how I plan to go about it.

1. I discover what my hopes and dreams are by doing new vision boards. I usually do one board, but this year I feel the need to do several. I will most likely do one for health and fitness, another for vacation and travel, a third for home and gardens, etc.

2. Feel and express my gratitude. I believe before I can expect to bring new wonderful things into my life, I need to be grateful for what is already making my life terrific. For instance, I’m not going to carry on and crab about a somewhat less than perfect physical body, instead I will focus everyday on how grateful I am that I have a body that functions well, gets me everywhere I would like to go, sees, hears and thinks very efficiently and generally has served me very well.

3. Spend a bit of time visualizing my goal and feeling what I will feel like when I have achieved my goal. I will picture myself at what I consider my physical optimum, possibly see myself running effortlessly, swimming strongly or biking up a hill. I will allow myself to feel the excitement of knowing that I can run, swim or bike as far as I want and feel strong, happy, pleased with the accomplishment.

4. Let it go. Release the thought with the knowledge and full expectation that this new me is becoming reality right at this very moment. One of my favorite authors, Doreen Virtue, put it something like this; when you are in a restaurant you select your sandwich, put in your order and wait for it to arrive. You know that your sandwich is coming because you have asked for it, you don’t doubt it, and you don’t keep asking the waiter for your sandwich. You simply wait expectantly knowing that it’s going to be perfect when it arrives.

5. When the dream is realized – and I believe it will be, I simply offer my thanks again.

I truly believe that everything we experience is something that we have asked for, intentionally or not. So, I try to think in positive terms. If I want to be debt-free, I don’t focus on debt, I focus on having enough prosperity and abundance to cover my wants and my needs. Focusing on the negative, the debt portion will only bring about more debt, focusing on the abundance and prosperity will bring about plenty.

So, that’s it. The life coach in me realizes that it’s extremely important to have a goal or an intention. Taking action is putting those goals and intentions down on paper, looking at them and spending a few minutes every day visualizing and enjoying the feelings of success. Again, the life coach in me is not done, I will assess and reassess, tweaking and changing as life goes on and changes.

2009 is going to be full of changes, and change can be very exciting. I hope you are going to reach for the stars, because the stars are all there waiting for you to reach out and grab them, I can see you now, swinging on your own personal star.

I hope you enjoy the remainder of 2008, and plan a fabulous 2009!

With warmth and excitement,
Sandy

Wisconsin Ovarian Cancer Alliance

Saturday, December 13th, 2008

Recently I had the opportunity to meet truly remarkable women. Back in 1999 their sister and Aunt Ms. Joan Sagan was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Dedicated to fighting this disease in 2001 the Wisconsin Ovarian Cancer Alliance or WOCA was developed. www.woca.net.

Since that time, Ms. Sagan unfortunately lost her battle with cancer. Her sisters Sandi and Kelli, along with Sandi’s daughter Erin have been working tirelessly to spread hope, encouragement and information to families who have been affected by this disease.

Meeting these women and hearing their message touched me in a way that was much deeper than what I expected. Of course they are passionate about their subject. I expected that much. What really moved me was the way that they quite literally radiate light and hope. They are currently in the process of having their website completely redone by NewAlliance Marketing, www.NewAllianceMarketing.com. Their message is unrelentingly positive. Early detection and education can and does make such an amazing difference in the outcome of this disease. That is of course their emphasis. But it’s the way they deliver their message that strikes me. These women are cheerful, uplifting, positive…in short they are hopeful.

Traveling frequently, they share this message whenever and wherever possible. They offer insight regarding how to communicate with someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. They offer some idea of what a person who has been diagnosed with cancer may expect to experience regarding emotions, treatments and so much more.

Sandi, Kelli and Erin have faced this most feared disease and continue to face it everyday. They are not angry, bitter women although many would say they have every right to be. They are comforting, uplifting and darned funny!

I encourage you to watch their new website develop in the next few months; you will see so much more of their dedication come to life on your computer screen. Please consider making a donation to WOCA. No doubt about it, it’s time and money well spent.
To contribute, please make your check or money order payable to the Wisconsin Ovarian Cancer Alliance and mail to:

Wisconsin Ovarian Cancer Alliance
P.O. Box 482
Oak Creek, Wisconsin 53154
Fax: 414-764-4492
E-mail: friends@woca.net

Sandi, Kelli and Erin are fabulous. My hope for all of you is that you allow yourself to be touched by them and their cause.

Warmly,
Sandy

Time to Work Together

Saturday, November 8th, 2008

Okay, it’s settled. The election was held a few days ago and Americans have selected Mr. Barack Obama to be the next president of United States.

Fortunately, the many months of political advertisements are over. It’s time to stop criticizing the candidates and arguing about which party has the best ideas for our country. It’s time to show support and respect for our new president-elect.

Think what we can do when we all work together! Americans are by nature, optimistic, loving, hardworking people. I am convinced that when we decide to respect the differences we have in opinions, beliefs and life experience and instead focus on what we can accomplish by working together that we will move forward in a most positive way.

I’d like to suggest that all of us find a way to thank all of the past presidents, including President Bush who will soon be leaving office. Each of these men was elected by us; Americans. I believe they have each served to the best of their ability and for that they have my thanks and respect; I hope they have yours as well.

So now it’s time to look forward. Change can be very exciting and it can be quite wonderful. Let’s pull together, because when we support and respect one another we can’t help but improve the situation of all of us. When we improve our personal situations, we improve our communities and that just like the ripple on a pond, the effects cannot help but to spread to others.

Congratulations fellow Americans, we have made history by electing Mr. Obama. Now let’s show the world that once again, we support each other, we respect each other and we will lift one another up to become a stronger, healthier nation.

Warmly,
Sandy

Be a Kid Again

Saturday, November 1st, 2008

It turns out that our kids are always teaching us lessons. All three are grown and in fact the eldest is married. Each of them has been on their own since he was eighteen years old, they have responsible jobs, and if you would meet any of them one on one you would have an impression of average young men. But when they are all together, they resume the roles they had when they were all less than 10 years old. It’s a hoot!

My husband and I joined them at our place at the lake yesterday, the place where everyone can just completely relax and have fun. As soon as they heard us arrive, I heard one of them call out ‘Indy’s here!’ Yes, they really were more excited to see the dog than their Dad and me, that’s okay; he was incredibly, silly happy to see all of his kids too.

As soon as we got in the house the stories began. Each one upping the ante just a bit when it came his turn to get a word in edgewise. For some reason the lampshades were all slightly askew and I actually asked how in the world lampshades on standing lamps got knocked awry. Silly me. It didn’t take long for the story-telling and needling each other to move on to a bit of ‘nudging’ one another as they walked around. Oh yeah, that’s how the lampshades get in that condition! How in the world had I forgotten? They teased one another and had the dog running from one to the other for what seemed like forever. In short, they all acted like they were little boys again.

Two of them took Indy for a walk so that Indy could see the beautiful Wisconsin autumn. When they returned, another enticed Indy into a game of chase. They ran up and down the hill, hiding and then pouncing when the other came into view. The third boy was hanging out with his Dad, puttering with the boat as they got ready to put it away for the winter. Too much chattering and laughing was heard for it to have been efficient, but they got the job done.

Later they ‘discovered’ the games that have been on the shelf in the family room for the four years that we have been here. I heard one yell ‘We have Battleship and Scrabble!’ the others came running. From there on I heard good-natured accusations of cheating, shouts of surprise and not just laughing, but giggling as they tried to out-smart each other. No one was exempt, the daughter-in-law was in the middle of it all and even my husband was trying to make up words for Scrabble.

I want to thank all four of our kids (yes, we consider our beautiful daughter-in-law to be one of our kids now) for reminding us to relax, let go and have fun. They are all responsible adults in their day jobs, but when they are together they remember to enjoy each other and laugh. Simply laugh. Once again, I’ve been reminded that most of us have amazing life coaches in our lives; we just need to look around and pay a bit of attention.

So just for today, I suggest that you take a trip down memory lane. Try to remember that fabulous feeling of laughing and giggling. Remember the mud smooshing through your toes on a warm spring day, the feeling of flying a kite, playing in a leaf pile or making a snowman. Whatever it is that makes you feel like a happy kid again. Please take a few minutes, close your eyes and try to recall. Let yourself feel the happiness, the smooshy mud, the cool breeze, the warmth of sun on your face as you lay in the grass and watched clouds float by. And don’t forget to allow yourself to chuckle, grin, laugh and giggle.

I wish you a fabulous day recalling happy memories and making new memories to recall in the future.

With warmth,
Sandy

Positive Motivation

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

We all need motivation. What does it for you? As a life coach some people firmly believe that I always feel positive, motivated and ‘up’. While that’s true to a large extent because I am simply blessed with an optimistic nature, a lot of it comes from learning to find the positive in situations. We can all do the same.

Here’s an example. It’s Saturday morning, there’s no reason in the world why I can’t sleep in, I have nothing pressing to do and the house is clean. What’s more when I opened my eyes and peeked out the window it was clear that it had been raining and I think the weather is forecast for gloomy and sprinkles all day. On the other hand, while the temptation to lie in bed is rather strong I do have a lot of things I’d like to do today, and the truth is that I like getting up early rather than late.

What to do. I got up again, looked out the window and noticed how incredibly beautiful the leaves look; they are in full glory as it is mid-October. I reminded myself how much I thoroughly enjoy rainy days and that autumn is one of my favorite seasons, I so enjoy the color, the brisk air and watching the squirrels scamper around the yard as they search for food to stash for the upcoming winter. After getting up and getting dressed to go to the gym I took a short walk outside. The sun was peeking through those glorious leaves and the birds were singing, just for me I know. Guess whose feeling completely and totally motivated now.

The point here is that everyone is motivated by something different and that something may change from day to day or situation to situation. I mentioned that I’m not a fan of going to the gym. Never quite got the thrill of lifting heavy things and sweating if it wasn’t doing something that I enjoy like gardening or playing an outdoors game with my dog. But the fact is that my body needs more exercise than my day to day activities were providing. I joined Curves, a gym for women. I love going there! The music is lively and fun, but best of all the women are all friendly, welcoming and supportive. Works for me, knowing that I get to go somewhere see people that I really like and that I’m doing something good for my health in just a short timeframe is motivation enough for me to go and sweat. A good friend of mine is motivated to exercise at home for exactly the opposite reasons. She very much enjoys the quiet and solitude of working out in her basement. It lets her gather her thoughts and she feels terrific and ready to face the day when she is done. I would be bored and more than a bit crabby with her option, and she would absolutely despise mine, but each of us is motivated by the choices we have made.

So many things you can do to motivate yourself or those around you. Take the time to discover what makes you feel great; what shifts your attitude from ho-hum to gung-ho. It might be music, a conversation with certain people, a walk outside. Truly it could be anything. I would suggest that you pay attention to that part of you that says this is fun, exciting or simply makes me want to do more of what I am doing. When you get that message, you are being motivated. Your attitude is shifting to feel more positive and that’s always a very good thing. Take note, you’ll want to recreate that feeling again, there’s no doubt about it.

Wishing you a day filled with positive motivation. Doesn’t it feel fabulous?

Warmly,
Sandy

Harley Fest

Friday, August 29th, 2008

I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Official home of Harley Davidson motorcycles. This week we are being visited by thousands of Harley Davidson riders and fans as they are celebrating the 105th anniversary of Harley. It’s awesome!

I was privileged to be asked to sell raffle tickets for a beautiful Harley at one of the events. It was just so much fun. Meeting friendly, happy people from quite literally all over the world. These bikers and bike fans are all behaving as though they’ve known each other for years and sincerely missed one another. Making new friends in this environment is certainly not difficult.

This is of course quite an economic shot in the arm for Milwaukee and the surrounding area. More important, it’s been a terrific lesson. People of the area are so happy to have all of these bikers coming into town, they are rolling out the red carpet. Bikers are being welcomed with open arms and in return they are being the best guests imaginable.

Young and old, families with small children, many of these bikers are even traveling with their dogs. Everyone that I’ve talked to has been ready to stop and talk, tell you about their hometown, what their trip has been like and how much they are enjoying their visit.

I’m so glad to have had the opportunity to take part in this wonderful event. It’s been heart warming and just plain fun, something that the life coach inside of me says most events can and should be. Once again I’ve been reminded that if you treat people well, they will treat you well. Milwaukee is benefiting from that simple lesson in amazing ways.

I hope that everyone you meet during this Labor Day weekend is a friend, new or old, treat them with warmth and love and I have no doubt you will have a fabulous weekend.

Warmly,
Sandy

A Little Help From Your Friends

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

It’s important to surround yourself with people who are supportive of your goals, whatever those goals may be. If you want to drop a few pounds, you would be wise to avoid people who exist solely on potato chips and sweets. You know that would be setting yourself up to fail, so you simply don’t do it.

Look around you for your own life coach. This could be your spouse, parent, child, friend, someone you know from the workplace, etc. The key is to be sure that this person sees your goal in the same light and is completely supportive, positive and reassuring.

This is also a great opportunity to connect with someone you may want to get to know better or simply spend more time with. If you are trying to loose those couple of pounds, perhaps a co-worker would like to spend part of lunch time walking. Or taking a bike ride every evening with your child. If you find that person who is also trying to accomplish the same goal you have taken your first step. Keep this time spent together positive. When this time is upbeat you will find yourself looking forward to the activity, making it much more likely that you will continue the activity. Share with your friend or ‘coach’ exactly what you are trying to accomplish and be sure that you are an inspiring, positive coach for your partner as well.

There’s nothing we can’t accomplish if we have the right attitude and surround ourselves with people who share the same vision.

Wishing you a fabulous day as you discover the wonderful coaches already in your life.

With warmth,
Sandy

Talk to Yourself

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

We are all our own life coaches. Is your internal life coach supportive and helpful?

What does that little voice say to you when you are tackling a new project? Do you hear it saying things like I can’t do this, it’s much too technical I’m just not bright enough for this project.‚

The good news is that since that coach lives inside your head, you have control! So, take positive action. The next time that voice is saying something negative turn it around. When you are starting a new project that looks a bit daunting and that nasty voice starts again, answer it. If you hear  I’m just not bright enough for this project, take a deep breath and answer yourself. I AM bright enough to handle this project. It will be a good challenge for me to take on something new and I feel proud of myself for accepting that challenge.

This applies to all aspects of our life. When you hear a negative voice starting in your head, turn it around. It’s so cloudy and rainy this morning, ugh. Change it to ‘The rain is so good for the garden, the flowers are smiling’. It’s going to rain either way, so try shifting your thoughts and mood regarding the situation, you will start to feel better and your entire day will improve as a result.

Wishing you a day filled with fabulous comments of love and support from the life coach who lives inside your head.

Warmly,
Sandy