Thank You and Welcome

Saturday, January 24th, 2009

As always, I’m proud to be a holistic life coach who lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, one of the fine states in the United States of America. The events of this last week make me even more proud.

First of all we say so long, but not good-by to a good, decent man who was our president for eight years. President Bush served us with honesty, decency and integrity. I have to say when I watched his farewell address on Tuesday night I was immensely proud. This fine man thanked Americans all over the globe, paid tribute to who have served with him and gave special thanks to our military. As a mom of a former Air Force member, I appreciated that very much. Most important, Mr. Bush assured his fellow Americans that he respects and appreciates and has confidence in our new president, President Obama. Job well done, thank you so very much.

For his part, President Obama thanked the out-going administration for a job well done. He spoke with respect of our past presidents and assures all Americans, regardless of political affiliations that he will be striving to do his best for all.

I see hopeful faces whenever the conversation about politics opens up. Americans have elected our first president of color and for many this encourages them to become engaged in the political and voting process as never before. From my point of view, I encourage all to be supportive of our new president. As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t matter who I voted for, we as a country have selected our new president. It’s now my job to stand behind him, respectfully speak up about policies that I do not like and strongly get behind those that I do support. I do not see our president so much as a Democrat or Republican as our leader. President Obama is the president of all Americans and I believe that we will all benefit if we find a way to work with one another with respect and a positive attitude.

So, once again I would like to thank President Bush for all that he has done for our country, I appreciate it and wish him and his family health, prosperity and peace.

I would also like to welcome President Obama. I wish him success as he works hard for all Americans; I also wish him and his family health, prosperity and peace.

Wishing you a fabulous day, filled with hope and excitement as all Americans celebrate the beginning of a new presidency.

Warmly,
Sandy

Politics Are Heating Up

Saturday, October 4th, 2008

Here in Wisconsin, folks are taking this presidential election very seriously, but not always respectfully.

Yesterday I was outside when my neighbor called me over to the fence. He was grinning and shaking his head from side to side. Laughing he told me that ‘Some stole my ‘candidate’ yard sign!’ He continued to chuckle as he explained that the culprit had just wasted his time; he was going to go and get another one right away. Then he got a bit more serious. He began to tell me how he feels that people need to understand and respect one another’s points of view in our country. He and his lovely wife are from another country; they came to the United States as a young couple and worked hard to become citizens. He served many years in the Air Force and she is a teacher. They raised two great kids who are now adults. This gentleman went on to say what a privilege it is that we get to choose, how he feels we need to have constructive discussions about what our options are and to support one another. He told me that one of his children will vote for one candidate and the other child for the opposition. He is so proud of both of them for taking the opportunity to learn what the candidates stand for and then voting their conscience. In short, while he supports his candidate adamantly, he supports positive respect for each candidate most of all. Needless to say, he doesn’t need any lesson from this life coach.

Ironically last night I got a visit from a woman I’ve known almost all of my life. She brought up the election as well; I think she had noticed the ‘candidate’ sign in my yard. While we were chatting, she asked my why I had made my selection and if I was steadfast in that decision. It turns out that she is truly undecided at this point. This is a very smart woman, however she does not read very well. Because she wants to make a wise decision about the election she has been watching interviews on television, taking note of the advertisements and trying to ask other people what their viewpoint is and why. Unfortunately, for the most part she has received a pretty poor response. She told me that some people have actually shouted at her for even considering the candidate they are not supporting. Still, she persists in trying to learn as much as she can. Of course I saw this as a great opportunity to share what information I have about each candidate, and explained once again that my viewpoint is undoubtedly biased as I have made my decision. We talked about options for quite some time and I’m so happy to say she feels justified in trying to have civil conversations about politics with people that she respects, and she will continue to do so. Congrats to her for trying to educate herself while she makes a decision. She is taking positive action and I love that I was able to be a small part of that action.

Both of these wonderful people have offered a valuable lesson. They each feel powerful responsibility to make good choices. Each knows and believes that they will share and learn the most, if they are respectful and positive. They continue to share the belief with everyone else they speak to.

I’m very proud to know both of these wonderful people.

My wish for you is that you are surrounded and uplifted by respectful, positive, fabulous people.

With warmth,
Sandy

Choose Kindness

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Think back a moment. All the way back to when you were a small child. When we were heard to say something that was hurtful, we probably heard our Mom tell us ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’ Mom was a great life coach! And as is often the case, she was right for many reasons.

When we say something hurtful, mean or vicious we are directing it at someone but it reflects directly on us. The person we are criticizing may or not be there in person, but the impression is usually a lasting one. The impression that we are unkind and sometimes even petty. Why? Because what we say is always about us, not the person we are talking about.

Simple coaching lesson here, everything I say is about me, nothing I say is about you. What does that mean? If I compliment you on the beautiful yard you have landscaped it’s true that I’m trying to convey my appreciation of your talents. It’s really about how I feel and my point of view. Who knew? Yes, it’s true that I want you to feel good, appreciated and respected, but again, that’s about what I want, isn’t it? If you do feel good, appreciated and respected then I in turn feel good because I brought that about. My comments are about me, not you.

By the same token, if I criticize you, tell you that you yard is untidy and makes the neighborhood look shoddy, what and who do you think this is really about? It would appear that it’s about you and that’s certainly what you will feel like, but if you step back and think about it, in reality I am telling you that your yard bothers me, and that I feel like I am being damaged. But by being harsh and possibly even cruel I have hurt you and made the distinct impression that I am a very unpleasant person. Is anything positive accomplished in this manner? I think not.

So, let’s take a moment and think about it. If it turns out that everything I say is in reality about me and is indeed a reflection of me, I need to make some choices here. What did Mom tell me? How can I put it into action? Kindness. It’s just that easy isn’t it? It’s easy to be kind when we want to convey something positive, such as complimenting the neighbor on their lovely landscaping. But, is there a kind way to deal with the neighbor that let’s their yard be somewhat shoddy? I think so.

It begins with a smile. I absolutely guarantee you that anything you have to say to me I will hear more easily if you smile when you say it. Find something to compliment. So you think the neighbors’ yard is a disaster and it makes you a bit crazy because you can see the weeds oozing into your yard. There’s a good chance that going over and yelling is only going to result in a shouting match or possibly a black eye. Try going over with a smile and a friendly comment or two. You break the ice and offer kindness. As you chat with this neighbor you may find that you have more in common that you know. Who knows what is going on in this person’s life? It’s possible that there are reasons for the oozing weeds, maybe they are overwhelmed with work, someone may be ill in their house, and they simply may not know or care about the weeds. We had a neighbor who grew their own bumper crop of dandelions…ugh. I made myself crazy about it because I was so proud of my weed-free yard. It turned out that they really didn’t know what to do about the weeds weren’t very bothered by them and were just too busy to deal with them in any case. As we chatted over a few friendly visits I invited her to my yard, she would comment on the flowers or play area for the kids. These were my opportunities to say how grateful I was that we didn’t have a lot of prickly weeds in the areas the kids played, that mulch controlled weeds in the flowers easily, etc. In short, instead of criticizing her yard I shared my thoughts and efforts about my yard. Eventually, she got the message, I think because it was friendly. Their yard never became weed-free. But she tried to keep them manageable and I always made a point of telling her how nice her yard looked. She felt good, I was happier.

Our kids, partners, even our pets all respond to kindness much easier then harshness. Screaming and yelling at a 6 year old little boy to stop bouncing on the couch will probably on result in him crying and starting to bounce again in a few minutes. Giving him a pillow on the floor and asking him to bounce on it instead and applauding his efforts is more likely to keep his sanity and mine. Shouting at my dog for barking at the leaves in the yard will only result in him running away from me and barking at me. Diverting his attention with a happy voice and giving him something else to do is much more likely to result in us both being happier and a bit less frustrated. I’m sure you get the idea. Take a deep breath, smile and remember that everything you say is truly a reflection of you. Try kindness.

Kindness feels good. It’s really that simple. When I am kind to you, I feel good and there’s a good chance you do too. So listen to the coach here, be nice to someone today. It works.

Wishing you a day of practicing kindness, I know it will make you feel fabulous and I’m sure those around you will notice and appreciate your efforts.

With warmth,
Sandy