Why on Christmas?

Friday, December 25th, 2009

First of all, if you celebrate Christmas I would like to wish you a most magnificent day! However, for a variety of reasons not everyone does celebrate Christmas, what does that say about them and how are they treated?

I happen to be a Christian so for me Christmas is a no-brainer celebration. After all, as a Christian my faith tells me that this is the day to celebrate the birth of our savior. In honor of that amazing fact, we as Christians gather together to sing praises to our God, we often exchange presents and offer good cheer to those we meet. So far, so good. I have many friends who are not Christian, no problem. I wish them a most blessed day on religious holidays that I know are important to them and they return the heartfelt wish on the days important to me. And then there are my friends who are agnostic or even atheist, no problem. Many of them celebrate the day in a totally secular manner, again that seems to be considered¬¨‚Ć acceptable to most people, Santa Claus visits, egg-nog is enjoyed and the world continues to spin to everyone’s satisfaction.

Enter Jeff. One of my favorite sons, Jeff¬¨‚Ć was raised Catholic,¬¨‚Ć however he has decided that’s simply not his belief system. He doesn’t rain on anyone else’s parade; he doesn’t disparage our celebration he simply doesn’t ‘do’ Christmas himself. It’s interesting what sort of conversations and interesting comments take place when he mentions this fact to others. Apparently this actually aggravates some people, my question is why? It seems that the common thought is that he is somehow a living, breathing, unreformed Ebenezer Scrooge because he doesn’t buy or expect presents or put up a tree. Huh? While I have no problem with folks celebrating in any way they choose it seems to me that we should be just as tolerant of someone who simply chooses not to celebrate.

I’ve heard some pretty disparaging comments about this and I don’t get it. Jeff¬¨‚Ć frequently asks simple but thought provoking questions, such as why so many people pretend to like one another this time of year, but can’t tolerate one another next week. Why do they spend money buying presents for these people if they don’t truly care for them? Why are people expected to overspend to show they care about one another even if they cannot afford to spend money?¬¨‚Ć Do any of those things have to do with the birth of Christ? From what I understand Jeff considers this sad and more than a bit hypocritical, I tend to agree. So, there are very unkind comments about him being unfriendly, stingy or even uncaring. While I don’t know the situation regarding every person who chooses not to celebrate Christmas I happen to know this is not the fact with this young man.

Jeff is always thoughtful about the feelings of others. If he is in town for Christmas or Easter he even attends mass with his Dad and me, not for himself, but because he knows it makes us feel good. I consider that very thoughtful. He’s absolutely not cheap or unwilling to spend on others; he is very generous without any special occasion in mind, because that’s just who Jeff is and the way he likes to treat people. More to the point Jeff and others I know who do not celebrate this particular holiday tend to treat people pretty much the same, day in or day out. Willing to know strangers before they judge them, loyal to friends and pretty firm in their stand regarding those they dislike. Now that seems very fair to me.

It seems that Jeff had a few things to say about this himself, you can read his thoughts if you visit Walden Ponder. http://www.waldenponder.com/2009/12/christmas-comes-every-year

Today I am celebrating Christmas with the members of our family who are in town. We will eat, open presents and enjoy being together all in the name of celebrating the birth of Christ. I’ve got to say that I appreciate Jeff and others who don’t celebrate for the gentle reminder they offer. I will try to keep his position in mind all year long, hopefully it will be a good reminder for me to keep in contact with those I care about, offer my love and generosity throughout the year and not only on particular days. I have to believe that is the best way I can honor my own Christian beliefs and respect the beliefs of others at the same time.

For those of you who celebrate, I wish you all the most wonderful blessings of this marvelous day. For those who don’t celebrate, I still wish you all the blessings of this marvelous day. Gosh that feels good.

Warmly,

Sandy

Gratitude and Blessings

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

It’s Memorial Day weekend here in the United States. Some will look at this weekend as an opportunity to have a picnic, BBQ or long camping weekend. I’m definitely one of those who look at this long weekend as an opportunity to relax, kick back and get together with others for a cook out.

But that’s not what it’s about, at least to my mind. Memorial Day for me is an opportunity to remember all who have served our country. And it becomes very personal.

Like many of you I have an abundance of family who have served in one branch of the military or another. My grandfather was Army, my father was Army, father-in-law Navy, I could go on and on about the uncles and cousins in various branches of the military. Thinking of each of these people puts a face to the sacrifices that come to mind.

Most of all when I think about service, I think about so many of the little boys and girls who grew up in my neighborhood and have gone on to serve.

The beautiful girl from across the street is making a successful career out of protecting the rest of us with the Air Force. The sweet, blond boy from down the block is one of our amazing Navy Seals. The ‘Dennis the Menace’ of our neighborhood, with the infectious grin and a million plots to carry out is serving with the Army. One of the boys is this very week finishing his paperwork to complete his stint with the Marines. At the same time, a boy who is so close to our family that we consider him another son is planning his send-off party as he looks forward to becoming a proud member of the Air Force in October. Of course, there’s the little boy who grew up in my house, right here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My son Billy spent six years in the Air Force, serving as Special Forces.

As an adult, when I think of my grandparents, uncles, cousins and even the friends who are my own age who have served our country it seems completely logical, appropriate and something that I deeply appreciate and understand.

Different, more complicated emotions surface when I think about the boys and girls who I have watched grow up, go on to take up a position to protect me and mine. These kids used to eat cookies in my kitchen, come to me for a hug when their feelings were hurt and offer bone crushing hugs when they were happy. I know in every cell of my being that each and every one of these kids went into service for all of what I consider to be the right reasons.

I knew each of these kids well before they left for service. They spent long hours talking with their parents, veterans who have served for years and reservists who continue to serve. None of them went into service with their eyes closed.

As they have come back to Milwaukee over the years I have been pleased to see that the twinkle is still in the eye, the grins still flash quickly and each one of them is willing to play at the drop of a hat. But it’s also easy to see that these kids have become strong men and women. They take responsibilities more seriously than many others of their age. They make decisions quickly and surely. Each and every one of them is a confident, competent individual. Their experiences have added shadows to their eyes, a few premature wrinkles on a few and definitely a bit more weight to their shoulders.

I know that each and every one of them has trained for events that I don’t even like to consider. Most of them have seen the ugliest side of humanity, which may well be why they offer a bit more compassion than some. My own son served a year in South Korea, followed by three tours in Iraq. I know it wasn’t easy for him to be so far away from family and friends. But I also know that he made strong bonds that will last a lifetime, many of those bonds much stronger than those with any family could ever be, because of their common experiences. He watched good friends die and he also watched a country begin to rebuild itself.

What I notice about these fine men and women is that they are the people I want in my life forever. Not one of them has ever made excuses for mistakes that have been made; instead they take responsibility and make a plan to move forward. Some of them may well suffer for years or longer with post traumatic stress syndrome. But I have never heard one of them express regret for their service. They joined voluntarily and they have served with excellence and pride.

To each and every one of the men and women who has served this wonderful country throughout the years, I offer my most sincere gratitude. I send blessings to all of you and your families. I salute you.

This Memorial Day I will be taking time to offer thanks and to think about all of those who have offered their time and their very lives so that I could have a long weekend with family, friends and BBQ. They must never be forgotten.

With love and gratitude,
Sandy

Women Friends

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

Men, for most of my life I’ve been surrounded by men. Oh, not in the way you might imagine. They’ve just been everywhere!

I remember growing up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, my brother was my first playmate and friend. Okay that explains one male, but for some reason the entire time I was growing up from very small throughout my teenage years, most of my friends were boys and then of course young men.

I grew up and married a wonderful man, and went on to have three sons; do you see a common theme? I chuckle when I realize that even the dogs who have shared my home since I’ve been married have all been male. Now the holistic life coach part of me says that this fact that I was surrounded by men led me to more likely continue to be surrounded by men, and I think that’s correct. Like energy attracts like energy, pretty simple, basic and true. Even now, some of my closest friends are men and I love every one of them. Still, I have to admit, I don’t understand from a personal viewpoint a lot of what makes them operate in the fashion that they do. Their brains don’t always work the same way as mine. I appreciate that, but sometimes I crave someone who does think more as I do.

Enter the women. While as I said, most of my friends have been men, I’ve always had a few very dear friends that were women and I cherish those friendships. These days I find that my life is filled with more and more powerful, smart, exciting and simply fun women. Yahoo!

Circumstances have changed. My sons grew up and I’m no longer involved in Boy Scouts and all of the largely male dominated activities that accompanied raising boys. In the past few years choices regarding the way I want to spend my time have led me to spend more and more time with women.

Changing careers was part of that shift. When I became a holistic life coach I began realizing that I was dealing with women more frequently than with men. It soon became clear to me that while I was attracted to working with men here and there, I had moved to a place in my life where I was much more attracted to the idea of working with people who shared some of my life experiences from my perspective, those who were more likely to be wired to think in a similar fashion to the way I think. I realized that I wanted a stronger connection with my own kind so to speak. It’s been interesting for me to realize how much I value the strength and the warmth of these women. They’re fun, engaging and determined to move forward in their lives in a deliberate, productive manner.

Reiki has been much the same. While it’s true that I decided to work with a man while going through my master/teacher apprenticeship, almost every one of my other connections concerning Reiki have been women. I’m not at all sure why that is. Well, that’s not true. Once again I know that is what I am attracting into my life and the truth is that I’m very grateful. That energy of excitement, contentment and gratitude continues to attract more women into my life on a continual basis. Most of the Reiki clients that I see are women. And then there are the amazing women that I have come to know and love that gather with me once a month for a Reiki share. We could not be more different in age, background and life experience. But we have come to appreciate and love one another.

For me, that’s the power of women. Politically correct or not, I believe that nurturing on some level comes very naturally to most women. I find that the lovely ladies who I am now proud to call friends actually care about one another, are pleased to see one another succeed and support one another without hesitation when a call is put out. Part of me has been surprised to realize how seamlessly women integrate personal with business.

The women that I am now proud to call friends come from all walks of life. Some are professional, with their own businesses or working for large businesses. Others go to work for someone else every day in grocery stores, restaurants, etc. Still others stay at home, raising families and taking care of the home. Age range has become much more diverse than I would have expected several years ago as well. I have friends from their early 20′ to mid 80′s and we all have enough in common to keep us strongly connected. Politics, food, sexual orientation, religion, food, hobbies, wine, food, sex, gardening and men. We talk about it all, ask questions and try to understand one another, and yes we usually manage to bring a bit of food to the situation as well while we are solving the problems of the world. I think it’s part of that tendency to nurture one another, make each other comfortable and show that we care about one another.

I so appreciate the diversity of these women. I am learning so much! I’ve found that even when we have discussions where our thoughts and beliefs are very different that the conversation doesn’t become hostile. It certainly can become lively, but it stays respectful and I always come away seeing another point of view a bit more clearly.

Of course this appeals to both the life coach and Reiki parts of me. I believe that we get what we ask for, whether it’s deliberate or not. As a holistic life coach I am very aware that every one of these friendships supports me on both a personal and professional level. That gives me confidence to expect more of the same and as I go about my day I realize that I am meeting and getting to know more women who are simply adding to the richness of my life on every level, every day. It’s easy to be grateful for all of this and to expect more of the same or even better the next day. It’s a wonderful cycle. And it’s been an awful lot of fun.

So, thank you ladies. I’m grateful and proud to call you each of you friend.

This week, I encourage you to take a look around you, notice and appreciate the fabulous gifts that you receive every day from the women in your life.

Warmly,
Sandy

Take a Nap

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

I remember when my boys were small; they would run, play and be on the move seemingly non-stop. If they didn’t slow down every once in a while for a short rest they would inevitably ‘hit the wall’. They would have an emotional melt-down, usually followed by a nap. When they awoke I would see smiles and hear giggles again.

Simple isn’t it? The same happens to adults as well. Many will work far too many hours with far too little rest, becoming frustrated and disappointed as the results they are achieving are not what they wanted. We need to take time to rest! It’s part of that self care that I talk about all of the time.

Each of my clients knows when we meet; I’m going to ask what they have done to nurture and care for themselves. Holistic life coach here, remember. If I’m not resting enough, nourishing myself well and exercising a little bit, there are real consequences. I simply am not going to do my job as well as I would like if I’m hungry and tired. I might not have the energy to go hiking with my husband if I haven’t taken the time to exercise a bit regularly.

How do you take care of yourself? For me, it’s imperative that I have time for a bath every day. I need to be in the water, quiet and alone. It nurtures me on every level. I might spend 5 minutes or an hour, different days I find that I have different needs. I know when it’s time for my bath, not according to the clock, but by the restless and edgy feeling that I begin to experience. Taking that time gives me what I need.

Even my dog Indy knows what he needs, and because he has never been taught not to ask for what he needs he will ask me to take him for a walk, he needs exercise. Alright, I’m in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, sometimes he has to settle for the treadmill, but the point is that he is a more contented, well behaved dog when his needs are met.

This is not complicated at all. I realize that it’s often difficult to eat, sleep and exercise as we know we should. But I encourage you to put yourself on the list of top priorities. If you need a vacation but simply cannot take the time, how about a 15 of meditation in a quiet room. Allow yourself to feel the rest and appreciate how much better you feel afterwards. Maybe you feel like you should be at the gym everyday but it’s not going to happen. You might consider taking a short walk with your family, a friend or enjoy the peace and quiet of a short walk by yourself in the park.

Little changes to take care of yourself may yield big results. A dear friend who is deeply faithful was feeling stretched because she simply felt she was not devoting any time to her faith. This was on her mind frequently, affecting her work and other day to day activities because she felt this lack which was so important for her. Simply allowing herself a scheduled time to practice and study a little bit has helped her tremendously.

I’m not going to tell you that I eat right all the time, sleep every night and exercise faithfully. Instead I have learned to listen to myself and to acknowledge what my body; mind and emotions are telling me that I need. Remembering my own life coach and what she taught me, I pay attention to that need and nurture myself. When I’m feeling better, I’m more productive and everyone around me is happier as well.

This week I encourage you to take a nap. Enjoy the feeling of refreshment from 20 minutes with your eyes closed, not thinking about or doing anything. Notice how happy you feel when you awake. And then do it again the next day, and the next…

With warmth and a yawn,
Sandy

Job Loss Means New Beginning

Monday, March 16th, 2009

We hear about it on the news everyday, people are losing their jobs. At the moment it’s a reality in America and folks in Milwaukee, Wisconsin are not exempt.

Mike went to work on Thursday, to a job that he liked. By the time he left at 3pm he had joined the ranks of the unemployed. I had the opportunity to talk with him in depth a few days later. The holistic life coach in me could not help but be impressed with his point of view. Mike told me that this will be a good thing in the long run. He liked his job and made pretty good money. However, he knew that as long as that job was there, he would probably not seriously look at other options. Mike is young, not quite 22 years old and very aware that the world has quite a lot to offer him. He is taking this opportunity to reflect a bit, think about where he wants to live, what makes him happy and where he can imagine himself in the future.

Mike’s considering going back to school, but that really does not hold a lot of appeal for him. He is however considering a wide range of opportunities including the possibility of going into business for himself. We chatted about the jobs that he is applying for and the range is amazing.

Naturally, since I’m a life coach, it was important for me to hear a bit about his plan. Mike is putting together an honest and thorough resume. He’s decided to grow his hair a bit and to shave off the thing that’s been hanging from his chin for so long. He’s asking his eldest brother about the most appropriate way to dress to put in applications and to go to job interviews. He’s also re-learning about the appropriate follow up to job interviews, thank you cards, phone calls, etc.

In short, Mike is optimistic that life is changing in a positive, exciting way for him. He told me that this experience is teaching him some very important lessons and that he looks forward to the next few months. He knows he has options that many do not. His parents have offered to let him move back home and they would welcome him, but that’s something he would prefer to avoid. Still, the reassurance of knowing he has that option removes much of his stress.

For my part, I support and applaud Mike. I will continue to offer him Reiki to keep him stress free. As a holistic life coach, I will continue to chat with him about the choices he is making, I will encourage him to move in the direction that feels right to him, in short to follow his gut which of course means to follow and discover his bliss. Mike is taking positive action steps to bring about the future that he desires and I have no doubt that all will unfold in an amazing way for him.

I wish Mike and all of the unemployed in Milwaukee and all of America a week of personal and professional growth, calm and optimism as their future unfolds before them.

Warmly,
Sandy

Tiling Adventure

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

If you are a loyal follower of my blog, and I know you are, you will undoubtedly realize that I’m a bit behind this week. Why? Because I, your humble holistic life coach and Reiki practitioner was trying my hand at something new. Tiling. Never fear, I’m not changing professions (though it was suggested during this process) but it did keep me busy the entire weekend.

In the 60′s my parents bought a modest starter house in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. They moved in with 2 kids and thought about the home they would someday move into. Life didn’t work out the way they planned. They are still in that same house, but now it is the beloved home in which they raised 4 kids and where they have lived for over 40 years. Recently, my dad’s wheelchair requirements made a bathroom remodel necessary. My mom is a smart woman, she decided to take advantage of this situation and use it as an opportunity to make the bathroom into the bathroom she has always wanted.

That’s sort of where it got interesting. It became a family project. My brother Steve and two of my sons, Bill and Mike were very enthusiastic about the destruction process. And they were very good it! They beat the living daylights out of that old cast-iron tub, smashing it to bits and then pulled off the old tiling with the sort of enthusiasm that might make you think there was pepperoni pizza hidden behind the walls. For the record, there was no pizza or any other treasure behind the old tile. They did it with an awful lot of laughing but it turns out that it didn’t damage the quality of work at all. Thank goodness for my lovely daughter-in-law Felicia and my mom who were right behind them cleaning up the dust and bits of garbage. Steve and the boys then carefully installed the shower pan. They did an amazing job even though I’m not sure any of them had the slightest idea what they were doing until they began.

Along came Saturday. Mike and I went over, thought we’d take Grandma to the store, pick up tile and have it all installed by dinner time. After all, we are completely equipped for this work. Mike is a machinist and as a holistic life coach and Reiki practitioner, who could possibly be more qualified to tile the walls of a shower? Turns out we were slightly off in our calculations. It took 3 hours to select the tile, a couple more hours to run around town and get everything. Did you know that some stores, who shall remain nameless actually think it makes sense to keep a maximum of twenty pieces of trim tile? Naturally that’s the trim Grandma liked, so off we went 20 miles to get the remaining 2 pieces. Never fear, we thought ahead and purchased extra to cover any oops events that may happen. We actually began the work by 3pm. You guessed it; it took Saturday and Sunday to get the tile up on the walls. It was actually an awful lot of fun! Mike was great to work with. He made all the cuts on the tiles, with very few errors. Laughed at me as the tiles would slip and used that eagle eye along with a level to be sure the lines stayed straight.

This evening I will grout and will seal it all up in a couple of days. I still have to repaint the room, but Grandma and Grandpa will be able to finally use their shower by this weekend.

Is there a lesson here somewhere? I think there might be. Once again my parents have reminded us that it’s important to look for a positive resolution to a problem. I applaud the efforts of my family, they didn’t hesitate to jump in and make it all come together. None of us came into this project with any of the skills to pull this off. Think of the professions involved, holistic life coach and Reiki practitioner, two machinists and a security guard. Even in Milwaukee, Wisconsin this doesn’t add up to professional tile talent. But it worked out. Because of a can do attitude the necessary changes were made on a very limited budget, even better, it looks amazing.

Now, how do I break it to my husband that our kitchen and bathroom floors are going to be tiled as well as our shower walls and all he has to do it move the very heavy items?

This week I hope you have the opportunity to find out that you can do something you never imagined you were capable of doing. I know it will make you feel fabulous.

With warmth,
Sandy

Balance

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

If you ever read my blog, you know that I’m a holistic life coach. Why? Because I strongly believe that we must find balance in our lives to move forward in a meaningful way. That means that what happens in my personal life affects my social life, my business life, etc. That’s the holistic point of view.

Living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin I am surrounded by people who do not accept change quickly or easily, and yes, I am one of them. We tend to be pretty conservative in that respect. We like to think about things, talk it over and look from all angles. If we see value, we generally give it a whirl. Once we experience value, we embrace this change and are staunch supporters. This is of course a generalization; however, I’m a prime example of this behavior.

I first experienced Reiki at the prompting of my son, Jeff. There were a lot of issues going on in my life, leaving me feeling physically, mentally and emotionally stressed. He recommended a Reiki master in the Milwaukee area. If I say that it changed my life I would be offering an understatement. Reiki helped me to bring balance into my life. Very important to someone who has a holistic point of view. I did have the attitude that comes naturally to most of us from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I had a million questions and prior to the experience I was not ready to wrap my arms around the experience. However, after my first Reiki session I knew I had found something profound that would change my life.

Reiki has been a valuable tool for me ever since my first experience. Because of that I have become a Reiki practitioner myself, pleased to offer Reiki to family and friends as would request it. Now I’ve decided to make Reiki available to my coaching clients as well. Actually it simply makes sense. The Reiki experience has helped me to experience calm and balance. When I work with life coaching clients we are striving to find a way to move forward in a positive, balanced manner.

Once again, a citizen of Milwaukee, Wisconsin has found a new experience, approached it carefully and come to embrace it enthusiastically. Some of us in Milwaukee may be a bit slow to experience something new to us, but when we do, if it proves to be a beneficial experience, it becomes something we stand behind.

Look for my website to be updated in the next week or so. It is my pleasure to offer Reiki to life coaching clients, but I am also very pleased to offer it to those who would simply like to experience Reiki on its own. My life is very good and I would like to share as much of this wonder, peace and serenity with others as possible.

I wish you a balanced and fabulous day.

With warmth and love,
Sandy

Black History Month

Saturday, February 14th, 2009

February is Black History Month. It’s a month when hopefully we are all learning a bit more about American history in full,and the amazing contributions that have been made by our African American citizens. It’s also a time to acknowledge the struggle that they have fought to get to where they are today. This is not about blame or recriminations, it’s about learning from the past so that we may make positive steps into the future.

I’m blessed to know a wonderful woman named Barbie. I don’t know her well, but I like her more and more each time that I have the opportunity to spend time with her. She’s smart, loving and a lot of fun. In short, Barbie is an incredible person. Recently I began to realize that she is also an amazing mom. She sent me an email, telling me a bit about her daughter Allyn and granddaughter Buchanan. It seems that Allyn has decided to teach her daughter who is only three years old about the history of her heritage. In addition to television, books and what she will undoubtedly learn in school, they do a skit everyday. Every day! This is brilliant! This lucky little girl is learning from her mom in ways that she can understand and will remember throughout her life.

As a holistic life coach, I realize and appreciate that we all learn in different ways. Allyn is taking the time to introduce the world and American history to her daughter with love and accuracy. By making learning fun, Allyn is not only enjoying the time she spends with Buchanan, but she is making sure that Buchanan understands exactly what the world is about, in terms that she can easily understand. Allyn is my hero for the day, kudos to her and the mom who has taught her so much.

The truth is that we live in a complicated world. Even here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, life is not as simple and straight forward as some of us would like to pretend. Our city, state and country are made up of many cultures, many injustices and an awful lot of pain. We can most easily move forward by acknowledging these injustices and pain. Teach each every generation where we have come from; give them the tools to move forward with hope for the future. I believe that is what Ms. Allyn is doing with her lovely daughter Buchanan.

I’m honored to know Barbie and I hope at some point to meet Allyn and Buchanan as well. Thank you for sharing with me. You ladies are fine examples for how we all can move forward in this complicated world.

Wishing you a fabulous day of learning and growth.

With warmth,
Sandy

Thank You and Welcome

Saturday, January 24th, 2009

As always, I’m proud to be a holistic life coach who lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, one of the fine states in the United States of America. The events of this last week make me even more proud.

First of all we say so long, but not good-by to a good, decent man who was our president for eight years. President Bush served us with honesty, decency and integrity. I have to say when I watched his farewell address on Tuesday night I was immensely proud. This fine man thanked Americans all over the globe, paid tribute to who have served with him and gave special thanks to our military. As a mom of a former Air Force member, I appreciated that very much. Most important, Mr. Bush assured his fellow Americans that he respects and appreciates and has confidence in our new president, President Obama. Job well done, thank you so very much.

For his part, President Obama thanked the out-going administration for a job well done. He spoke with respect of our past presidents and assures all Americans, regardless of political affiliations that he will be striving to do his best for all.

I see hopeful faces whenever the conversation about politics opens up. Americans have elected our first president of color and for many this encourages them to become engaged in the political and voting process as never before. From my point of view, I encourage all to be supportive of our new president. As far as I’m concerned it doesn’t matter who I voted for, we as a country have selected our new president. It’s now my job to stand behind him, respectfully speak up about policies that I do not like and strongly get behind those that I do support. I do not see our president so much as a Democrat or Republican as our leader. President Obama is the president of all Americans and I believe that we will all benefit if we find a way to work with one another with respect and a positive attitude.

So, once again I would like to thank President Bush for all that he has done for our country, I appreciate it and wish him and his family health, prosperity and peace.

I would also like to welcome President Obama. I wish him success as he works hard for all Americans; I also wish him and his family health, prosperity and peace.

Wishing you a fabulous day, filled with hope and excitement as all Americans celebrate the beginning of a new presidency.

Warmly,
Sandy

Thanks Indy!

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

Indy in deep thought.

If you’ve ever read my blog before, or taken a walk through my website, you probably know quite a bit about me. You know that I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, beautiful but brrrrrrrr cold today. You know that I’m a holistic life coach, that I believe it’s impossible to compartmentalize our lives all that much. And you probably know that I live with a dog. Not just a dog, but a DOG. Indiana, who was named for the movie character Indiana Jones, is a very good representative of the boxer breed. He’s a very pretty boy, with a wonderful smooshy face that actually smiles when he’s happy. Energetic, friendly, playful and loving, he’s also lazy, sweet, cuddly and communicates his happiness or disappointment very clearly. It turns out that Indy also teaches me, on an almost daily basis.

Recently a friend of mine visited. Along with her came her wonderful vizslas. Her boy is named Tugger and her sweet little girl is Max. Now Tugger and Max had never been to my home before, so while they were enthusiastic to go somewhere new they were also a bit shy about meeting a new friend in a new home. Indy was just beside himself. He’s usually very exuberant about meeting new dogs and while generally polite, has been known to offer a few boxer punches to get the play going. Apparently this time, Indy was able to understand the caution of his guests. What followed was very interesting and once again reminded me of some very clear lessons.

All of the dogs went into the back yard. Max and Tugger began exploring, but ignoring Indy. Meanwhile Indy went into serious play mode. In the doggy world it’s polite to ask another dog to play and then to wait for a response. This is what an exuberant Indiana did. He ran all around Tugger and Max, he offered play bows and then waited at a polite distance for a response. Indy tossed his toys their way and did everything he could to entice a game of chase or wrestling. Meanwhile Max and Tugger became more comfortable with the yard and house. They got closer to Indy but didn’t engage in play. Eventually all three dogs came into the house and settled into naps in the same room.

Why did I tell you all of this? Besides telling you that I’m very pleased about my Indiana showing good doggy manners, I also think that the dogs were demonstrating very clear lessons. Indy was offering friendship and playtime, he even offered his toys. Max and Tugger were a bit shy but still friendly and very polite. They did not snarl or growl, they simply told Indy that they weren’t quite ready for that kind of closeness. None of them took it personally! For me that was the lesson. It sounds simple enough, but it can be quite hard to learn and even harder to actually practice.

Here we go, life coach lesson time. Don’t take anything personally. When Indy made the offer to play it was not accepted by Max or Tugger. That didn’t have anything to do with Indiana personally; it had to do with their not being familiar with the house, yard or Indy. Indy didn’t take it as a personal rebuff; he simply understood that they had their own stuff to work through. Wow! It sounds simple enough, but it’s really huge. Did you ever say hello to someone who didn’t respond? Or who didn’t respond in a friendly manner? It’s tough sometimes to remember that we have no idea what’s going on in that person’s life at the moment. Maybe they have a problem that they can’t shake, maybe they simply didn’t hear. We don’t know. At the same time if we take it personally, we make have our feelings hurt and we could become angry or sad. Why? It had nothing to do with us personally. When we are able to realize that what others say and do has nothing to do with us, that it really is all about them, going through day to day interactions becomes much easier.

So, next time you are in the grocery store and someone is rude or unfriendly, try not to take it personally or to respond in kind. Keep in mind that that person may have something heavy on their mind and let it go. You’ll feel better and you will not have done anything to make the other person’s day worse, you may well have helped them to feel slightly better by your neutral or kind manner.

That’s it. Once again Indy and his new pals reminded me of a very simple yet very powerful lesson. Don’t take anything personally. Thanks Indy, Tugger and Max, I really appreciate it.

Wishing you a fabulous day filled with simple, sweet reminders of this lesson.

With warmth,
Sandy