The Contract

The words you are about to read are an excerpt from my book, ‘The Acorn Journal: Messages of Connection from The Other Side’.

I’m sharing this because Mike has been on my mind in such wonderful ways recently. You see, his birthday is right around the corner, Sunday, June 2nd. This year, he would have turned 32 years old. I’ve been thinking about all the laughter we shared over those 23 years. The squabbling, debating, playing… all of it. And I have to say, I’m so grateful for all of those years.

Mike loved knock-knock jokes, especially of the pirate variety. So, expect to see more of them on my Facebook page in the upcoming days.

As you read The Contract, I encourage you to think about the people you love, imagine the agreements that you made with them. And I hope that your heart feels both more full and lighter, all at the same time.

The Contract

My son Mike was 23 years old when he died. One day I was thinking about Mike and his short life, how much he was loved and how much he loved all of his family and friends. After much soul searching and contemplation, I made up a scenario in my head. What if…

What if before Mike was born I had the opportunity to read a contract. This contract would explain that on June 2, 1987, at precisely 6 am I would give birth to a 9lb bundle of love. As the contract went on it would explain that this hazel-eyed little boy would announce that he was awake by laughing and giggling in his crib. He would grow into a sweet, bull-headed, smart boy who would drive his elder brothers crazy by always humming or singing. He would not care about playing sports or being cool, he would be passionate about books and music. As he grew he would favor cowboy boots and flannel shirts, of the red and black variety.

As he became a teenager he would deal with Addison’s disease, but in his normal manner, he would seem to take it in stride. An intensely private person he would be very open and opinionated about how others should live their life. He would make strong friendships and he would develop interesting hobbies, brewing beer and wine and cooking, as well as hunting.

The contract would go on to clearly state that while we would be able to love and interact with this amazing person, on December 17, 2010, at some point he would end his short life by shotgun. There would be no negotiating this ending, it would be so. It would be written in the contract.

What if I had the option of signing that contract? Would I opt to learn to love this person with all of my heart if I knew that same heart would break in a million pieces on December 18, 2010, when my doorbell rang and a sheriff told me of my son’s death? Would I sign that contract knowing how profoundly my sweet husband would be affected, that I would watch him age years before my eyes? Would I sign the contract knowing that my two surviving sons would never be the same, that they would have to experience the most severe heartbreak imaginable while still in their 20’s? Would I sign that contract if it meant that we would all have to experience everything that we have in the past year?

Yes! I would, again and again, I would sign that contract! And I believe that my husband, two surviving sons, and my daughter-in-law would put their signatures right alongside mine and Mike’s. Without hesitation.

Knowing and loving my son was worth each and every moment of heartbreak. The blessings, the smiles the laughs, the aggravation, yelling, and squabbling were all blessings. And I would indeed sign that contract.

For the record, it is my belief that my soul did sign an energetic contract saying just what I’ve laid out above. That’s my belief and it may or not be yours. But I find comfort in knowing that even if I had known all those years ago how it would end, I would do it again. It’s so been worth it, at least for me.

And that gives me the strength to go forward for another day.

Namaste,
Sandy

The Acorn Journal: Messages from The Other Side, One Acorn at a Time…

Hello, my friends,

Today’s message is incredibly personal. I’m sharing because this is something that I imagine all of us have dealt with or will deal with at some point in our lives. At the very least, it’s probably a point of curiosity and discussion. I’m talking about communication of some sort with someone who has died.

No, I’m not asking you to set aside your belief’s whatever they may be. I am simply asking you to consider having an open mind. To consider that perhaps, just perhaps someone who has left the planet earth is as close to us as our own heartbeats. Because I believe this is true.

My youngest son died seven years ago. Such a hard thing for me to wrap my head around, even now. I remember so very clearly having conversations with people almost immediately, about feeling confident that Mike was still around, in a very different way of course.

So, I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me when we began finding acorns at our lake home. It soon became very clear that these acorns were in fact, messages from Mike. I began keeping a journal of these occurrences and my thoughts and feelings when they were discovered. I needed to be sure that I wasn’t imagining things.

Time went on and these experiences have continued. This was both an intensely personal experience and something that I wanted to share with the world. When the time was right. Well, it feels as though the time is right and so  ‘The Acorn Journal: Messages of Connection from The Other Side, One Acorn at a Time’ has now been published and is available on Amazon.

This is my story and yes, it continues. Because life does not end when we take our last breath, it simply transforms. I hope that reading my story reminds you that those you love are with you. Always. I hope that you share your own story of connection with me. I would love to hear it.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

Prosperity Blessing

This was sent to me by a friend. It’s now saved on my Desktop and the first thing that I read when I open my computer. It feels very good, and so I wanted to share with you.

Namaste,
Sandy


A Prosperity Blessing

May you be blessed with an amazingly abundant day today!

May the clouds break and the heavens pour down upon you more joy, more love, more laughter and more money than you could have ever dreamed of.

May the sunshine its golden light of prosperity through every cell of your extraordinary body.

May you be cleansed today of any resistance or feelings of unworthiness that you may still be holding onto.

May your false illusions of doubt, fear, and scarcity gently fall away like soft white feathers on a gentle breeze.

May you be willing, simply willing to allow the Universe to shower you with miracles today.

May the Angels wrap you in their shining wings of opulence.

May the fairies deliver you to their pot of gold at the end of a majestic rainbow.

May your eyes shine with the glorious truth of who you really are and may that truth uplift others in your presence to their own inner knowing.

May your ears hear the sound of perfection ringing in your soul. May you taste the deliciousness of every precious bite of life as your day unfolds moment by moment with amazing grace, heartfelt love and a bounty of magnificent money.

As this day ends, may you slumber wrapped in an exquisite blanket of enduring peace and profound gratitude.

And may the last words you speak today be Thank You.

~Anonymous author

Are You Listening?

We all have guidance. Some call it intuition, others say it is our angels, guides or higher self. Of course, there are those who say it is our subconscious. Perhaps all of these things come into play, but what I want to know is this;  are you listening to that guidance?

Perfect example. I can be a wee bit hard-headed. I’m working on it but facts remain facts. Last week I got in the car and headed into town with the intention of getting new eyeglasses. As I drove, something kept telling me to check in my wallet to be sure that my prescription was there. But I resisted. Actually, I did more than resist. It was as though there was an internal argument going on.

Guidance – Check the wallet, you will not find the prescription.

Me – I don’t need to check, where else would I have put it?

Guidance – Sigh, just check. Pleeeeeeeease. Otherwise, you will find yourself at the location and no prescription will be found. Hint, you might want to look in your computer case though…

Me – Nope. I don’t need to. Although I feel twinges about this and I sort of want to give in and check that wallet, I can’t think where else the prescription might be. Besides, I would need to turn around! That’s not gonna happen. I’m going to stick to my first intention.

Guidance – Okay, have it your way. But the prescription is not in your wallet. Might be in your computer case, but who am I to tell you?

As you have no doubt cleverly discerned by now, I got to the desk and after completely emptying out my wallet on the desktop, realized the prescription was not there. So, I got back into my car and began going home.

You guessed it, when I got in I found myself checking my computer case. Where of course, I immediately found the prescription.

Guidance – See, I told you so!

Yes, it seems that my inner voice is a bit of a smart Aleck at times. On the other hand, I absolutely had it coming.

Are you listening to your guidance? Those nudges that suggest you turn left rather than right. That fleeting thought that hints at calling someone. That imperceptible something, often indefinable that propels you to say or do something that you might not have otherwise. This is guidance.

We all have access. Most of us are quite aware that there is something helping us to make decisions. When we choose to ignore this guidance, we are often able to see how we might have benefited from making other choices.

Each and every time we do listen, we reinforce our connection, our trust. We further develop a relationship that benefits us.

So, do you want to be the person standing that the desk searching for your eyeglass prescription? Or, would you like to take a few deep breaths and consider that maybe, just maybe, there is guidance coming to you that is helpful? It’s really up to you.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

 

Divine Intervention

Do you pray? Do you believe in God, The Divine, Spirit, Universe…whatever name or word you use to refer to that which I consider the Supreme Being. Me too!

Do you also believe that this Creator also has beings called angels who are sent to help us? Yep, I’m with you there too.

Depending on what statistics you are looking at, between 50 – 75% of folks in the United States believe in angels and their loving assistance. How about you?

I’m fascinated by the subject of Divine assistance and the way it is received among different groups. When I work with clients, it’s pretty normal for clients to share their spiritual beliefs. I feel honored that they do so.

So it makes me wonder, what are your thoughts and beliefs? Do you find that your life experiences are shaped by your beliefs or is it perhaps the reverse? No right or wrong here, just your own experience. It’s all valid.

This is always a fascinating subject for me. If we believe that we are not alone, that we have Divine guidance and assistance all along the way, are we reaching out for assistance? If not, why not? What would happen if we did? Ohhhh, that’s the real question, isn’t it?

What if I reach out for guidance, assistance, love, and support – and it doesn’t arrive? What if I don’t hear or understand or what if I just don’t listen? Then again, what if I do?

Why not give it a whirl? Go ahead and ask your angels and guides for their assistance. Then allow yourself to be open to receiving. This is when the most wondrous things begin to happen. Big and small. Perhaps you will find that your computer is running faster than normal, you might find that you feel calmer than normal. These would be examples of interaction that we don’t notice. These shifts may well be Divine interaction. So, I encourage you to notice. What is happening? Emotionally, physically, mentally. Remember, the signs may be the absence of what we are used to. Perhaps anxiety or worry is gone.

What’s right for you? Are you open to taking a step? Just think about it, how does that feel? Opening your heart to even consider the connection with Spirit is often the very first step, the most important step you can take.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

Forgiveness Matters

Forgiveness is something that I think is often misunderstood and because of that, often overlooked or put on the back burner. However, it’s my firm belief that before healing can happen forgiveness must begin.

So, let’s talk about forgiveness.  First and foremost offering forgiveness is not, absolutely not condoning the incident which offended or hurt you. That’s really important, so I will repeat it. Forgiving does not mean saying that what occurred was alright! What forgiveness means is that you no longer feed energy into the pain, hurt; resistance and you allow healing to begin.

Ahhhh, we’re getting to the meat of the matter right off. Healing. That’s what forgiveness is all about, at least in my mind. Here’s how I see it.

Let’s create a scenario. Let’s say that someone has said something truly hurtful to me, hurtful enough to wound me deeply. Ouch! While I am hurting I find that I withdraw my energy. A bit like a turtle may pull his head into his shell to prevent further injury. Perhaps I go over the words, again and again, feeling the wound, reliving the words each time. It hurts!

As time goes by, I may well find myself becoming angry. Anger is not a bad thing, it’s simply an emotion and there are real and valid reasons to feel anger. For one thing, it’s got a higher vibration than the feelings of desolation and/or depression that I was likely feeling just one paragraph ago. It’s normal, reasonable and completely human to feel anger. But what to do with it? If I keep feeling it but do not express the anger, it can become very toxic. Stuffing the anger can actually make me sick, physically, and emotionally. The simple fact here, it is healthier for me to find a safe way to express that anger. When I feel the appropriate, healthy way to begin to release the anger, it’s a bit like pulling the plug for a water-filled tub. The resistance, strong energy begins to dissipate. Perhaps the turtle once again considers sticking his head out of his shell.

This is all part of the forgiveness process. I forgive so that I feel better. Simple as that. When I decide to forgive, and yes, for me it is often a very deliberate, conscious decision, I begin to feel better. That easier, more gentle feeling makes way for healing.

In the scenario painted above, I have been hurt. The words that were spoken may or may not be valid. Finding a healthy, safe way to release the resistance, the energy that is my anger, allows me to determine the truth or falsehood of the words spoken. That feels a bit better. Regardless of what I decide, I am still hurt by the words that were said to me. There’s work for me to do.

I begin by honestly acknowledging to myself that I have been hurt. For me, that can take a bit of work as I would really prefer to pretend that I’m too tough to be hurt by others. Not so, the truth is that I am as human as the next person. I’ve been hurt, I’ve gotten angry. Both acknowledged and felt. For me, the next step is to look for a blessing in this situation. This part really irks some people, and I get it, really I do. But I do believe that there is a blessing or a lesson if you prefer,  in each and every happening, even those which hurt us deeply. Again, returning to the above scenario, I would ask myself what the blessing or lesson looks like. Perhaps there was truth in the words expressed to me; can I learn from the words? Or it could be that the hurtful words were totally bogus, perhaps the lesson is that the person who uttered these falsehoods feels safe enough to express themselves to me. It could simply be that this person is not good for me and I need to say away from them. Maybe, none of these fit, I will search until I find what resonates with me.

Finding a blessing allows me to feel somewhat better; I begin to feel stronger as forgiveness begins. The energy that doesn’t feel very good, the resistance begins to be released, and healing is starting to happen.  That’s what forgiveness is, healing. The hurt, anger, bitterness energizes me in a way that feels pretty crummy to me, but finding a blessing, learning a lesson, deliberately deciding to look for a truth allows that icky energy, that resistance to begin to go away. Remember that water-filled tub I talked about above? Well, the plug isn’t all the way out, the tub isn’t empty. But the trickle has begun and it feels good. That’s what forgiveness is about, feeling better. And beginning to heal. This has not one thing to do with whether or not the person was justified in saying what they did. Not for one moment would I condone deliberately hurting someone with an untruth. But if the words were true, I can learn from them. If they were false, then I have taken the time to find the blessing, to learn a lesson.

Another little phrase that causes a lot of trouble is ‘forgive and forget’. I’m not a fan at all. My dog teaches me a very simple lesson about that because animals offer unconditional love. They get hurt, but they learn the lesson, forgive and move on. If I’m out walking with Indiana and he keeps walking in front of me, there’s a very good chance his foot will get stepped on. He learns the lesson, forgives and walks alongside me. But he doesn’t forget! He remembers that if he walks in front of me his toes will get smashed.

We can take a lesson from this. If forgetting serves us well, then we will forget in time, easily and effortlessly. However, if the words brought a lesson that we can use, by all means, keep it in your memory. Again, let’s return to the original scenario. If the words spoken to me were hurtful for the simple reason that person has their own ‘stuff’ to deal with, then I will likely remember and not put myself into a position to be hurt by them again. However, if the words were true and helpful, I may well remember them, learn from them and recall them when they are again helpful. Forgive; yes. Forget; only if it serves your best and highest good.

I’ve spoken about hurtful words because that seems to me to be the most common wound. But wounds come in all sorts. It could be the wound of a relationship that has ended, the death of someone you cared about, a car wreck or any number of other scenarios. The work is the same. It’s a step by step process. No one size fits all here. There is no timeline. The process may be very fast, a matter of moments, or it could be over years. Whatever is right for you is right.

What are you holding onto? Is there something that you are ready to begin healing from? Big or small, forgiveness is done for you, and it begins with that first step. When you are ready to begin healing, forgiveness is part of the process. And the turtle once again pokes his head out of his shell, going on about his life, wiser and more prepared to live today.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

Just What DO You Deserve?

Probably the most common theme that I hear in my office, is the idea that the person is not deserving of the best life has to offer.

This feeling seems to recognize no boundaries. I hear it from women as well as men. Young, middle-aged and elders. These people seem to think that they must put themselves last – always.

What some of these people think they do deserve is something less than others. A woman I know was very concerned. After all, she believed very strongly that when one is faced with an argument or conflict of some sort, there are two choices. Be kind or attack. As she is a very nice woman, her typical response has been to be kind to others, at her own expense.  I got the call from her when she wanted to discuss her most recent behavior. She had stood up for herself! She was direct and straightforward, realizing that she deserved to be treated with respect and appreciation. This is where we all stand and shout ‘wahoo!’.

An incredible person recently offered this thought. Is our body a vessel or host to our spirit? If you answered yes, keep going with me. If my body is host to my spirit, then my spirit is my ever-present guest. How do you treat guests in your home?  If you’re like me, you always offer guests the very best. The pretty little soaps in the bathroom. The best chair at the backyard fire. The finest cut of the entree served at dinner.

If I’m always offering the best to others, but refusing to accept quality for myself, I am treating my own guest very badly. This fascinating concept rang true for me, so I began sharing it with my clients. What I am discovering; to my absolute delight is that it rings true for others as well.

So, does this mean that I advocate being out for myself regardless of effects or ramifications to others?  Nope, not at all. It does mean that I believe in treating myself with the same sort of appreciation and respect that I offer to others. And I encourage my clients to do the same. It feels good, in fact, it feels terrific!

A very nice side-effect of treating myself with the same appreciation, respect, and kindness that I offer to others is that I don’t feel short-changed when I do something nice for someone else. Nice bonus, huh? Think about it for a couple of seconds and I’m sure it will make complete sense to you as well.

If you are always putting others before yourself, you are being short-changed. It’s completely natural and reasonable that resentment would build and that anger is likely to follow. Let’s circumvent this entire situation by simply bringing a bit of balance to the situation. That means acknowledging that you deserve to expect and receive the best that the world has to offer. I encourage you to expect that from now on.

Balance isn’t all that difficult when we practice. If need be, you may want to think of yourself as Spirit, after all, that is an integral part of you. What does your guest deserve? Offer the best to your Spirit, your ever-present guest, and everyone will benefit.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

 

Contrasts Offer Opportunity for Reflection

Within a short span of eleven days, we will have attended 2 funerals and 2 weddings. This has caused me to think about the cycles, the circle of life.

One of these deaths was swift and totally unexpected. An apparently strong and healthy man of only 63, his family was shocked and will undoubtedly spend quite a bit of time moving through the trauma until they are able to begin understanding how their life will move forward.

The other death was an elderly woman in her 90’s. Dearly beloved by her family and friends, she was sharp and witty until almost the very end. The last few weeks of her life were spent still teaching family and friends how to live life.

And of course 2 weddings. To me there is very little that represents more optimism than a couple in love, promising to spend their lives caring about and for one another.

Beginnings and endings. We spend most of our lives somewhere in between. Thank God for that. While the beginnings and the endings are times when we really focus on what life is about, the time in between is where we learn and practice. Sometimes we do well, sometimes we could do better. Still, these significant events cause many of us to step back and ponder life in ways that we may not do otherwise.

What do weddings represent to you? These couples are people who have learned to love one another, and with any luck, they have learned to really like one another, which I think can be much more important. When I look at these couples I wonder, what sort of language will they use to ask one another not to leave wet towels on the bed? Will they be kind or harsh when one tells the other that they really need to get stronger deodorant? Are they prepared to go through times when one is ill? How will they show one another appreciation or express disappointment? When they fall out of like with one another from time to time, will their love prompt them to rediscover what brought them together in the first place?

And the funerals. Oh my, I’ve learned so much about people at funerals. One particular woman comes to mind for me. I had grown up hearing nasty things about her, very little that was good. She wasn’t particularly kind to me and in short, I was pretty sure that she was not a nice person at all and probably had never been a nice person.

At her funeral, I learned that she was much more complicated and interesting. People I didn’t know shared incredible stories about how she had gone out of her way to help them when she was very young and was living with unimaginable difficulties herself. I learned that she was a very strong woman who cared deeply about people who were in her life, regardless of whether or not they were relatives. The stories went on about her talents; she was an amazing cook, generous with her time and love. The woman I knew was a product of a very difficult life, but even during those years, many people experienced another side of her altogether.

When someone dies it offers us the chance to come together and share stories. If we allow ourselves to listen with an open heart and mind we can learn things that change our lives. Perhaps forever.

To me the weddings represent beginnings of a sort; however, the funerals don’t represent an end. I firmly believe that our souls go on living, so this transition is simply an opportunity to reflect on what has been learned. Truly a new beginning.

I wonder what these things represent for you. So many beginnings in our life and each offers us the opportunity to step back and reflect on what we believe, what we know, what we have learned. May the learning continue.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

Life Coaching – All Together Now, Shift

I learned to drive in a 1970 VW Beetle with a stick-shift. It was beyond awesome!

Anyone who has ever driven a stick-shift, or to name it more correctly, a manual transmission; knows that in order to prevent burning out the clutch, you learn to listen to the car, to feeeeeeeeeel when it is time to shift. Guess what? People come with the same sort of clues. When we work together, you as the client, me as the coach you will be encouraged to listen to your own guidance. What do you hear? What do you feel?

As you learn to hear and feel what you really want, you will easily and quite effortlessly learn if and when it’s time to shift. Here’s the good part, it’s so much easier than learning to shift that Bug. You will hardly hear the grinding at all.

You can and will learn how to listen and feel the messages that are guiding you, really. As your coach, I will encourage you to listen for that special sound, feel that vibration that is your inner guidance. This will allow you to decide if it’s time to make a shift. As your coach, I will offer thoughts, ideas, and suggestions. Mostly, I will encourage you to discover just how your intuition is guiding you. For instance, if you are feeling bad about a situation in your past, we might discover if you have learned anything from the incident. If you have gained something beneficial from a past incidence, that knowledge may allow you to see the past issue as something of a gift.

That my friend is a shift. Some are big, some are small. They happen if you’re ready when you’re ready and in just the way you prefer.

You might say that coaching is all about shifts, you might be right or wrong. For you, the coaching experience may well be all about shifts, or it may be about moving forward in another manner. That’s part of the fun! The path that you take when you work with a life coach is all up to you.

This journey is yours. You call the shots. You decide if you would like to take a peek at your past and find ways to shift into a more positive frame of mind. You decide what you prefer to deal with and in what manner. Of course, your coach, (yours truly) will have suggestions which you may accept. Or not. You get to decide what is discussed and what is not. How cool is that?

I’m also going to ask you to take a look at what is happening in your world right now, today, this very moment in fact. How are you looking at situations, happenings, events? It’s my job to help you discover possibilities. Pretty exciting stuff really. When you explore possibilities, you will be encouraged to listen to and feel that guidance that we talked about a few paragraphs ago. And then you will shift to a place of feeling better. If you want to, if you’re ready. Shifting to a place that allows you to see and feel new possibilities. Shifting is huge.

Alright, I admit that I sort of nut-shelled the entire life coaching experience. But if I were to nut-shell it, even more, I might well say that the entire coaching experience is about shifting. Are you ready to shift?

This week, I encourage you to take a few minutes a day. Sitting quietly, allow yourself to tune into your own thoughts and feelings. What do you really want in life? What would you prefer? Then let’s talk.

Namaste,
Sandy

 

 

 

 

 

Reiki – Is It A Religion?

Nope, ’nuff said? Hmmm, perhaps it would be best if I elaborate just a little bit. 

Take a look at the beautiful trillium growing amongst the leaves. The flowering plant is indeed a living thing, it is energy. That’s what Reiki is, energy. Plain and simple. Well, not too plain and simple or this blog would be over and we would all understand just the point I’m trying to get across.

When we talk about Reiki, we define it as Universal Life Force Energy. It flows with our intention, calming and balancing our body, mind and spirit so that we are able to release, relax and heal. While I suspect that most of us do indeed consider this a spiritual event, it seems to me that the energy flows just as well for the atheist. After all, energy is energy and flows regardless of where we believe it comes from or how we explain its existence.

I have electricity in my house, that electricity or energy allows my laptop to operate and that allows me to share my thoughts about Reiki with you in this blog. Do I believe that this energy comes from God, Universe, Source or Creator? Yep, it just so happens that I do. However, I have a very dear friend who is ‘knows’ in his heart that my belief in a deity is a way to comfort myself, he considers it a myth. Turns out that the electricity flows in his house just as well. In the same way, I believe that the energy that we call Reiki does come from my Creator, use whatever name you prefer, I don’t think he/she minds a bit. I am simply a channel for this energy, it flows with my intention. Feels pretty darned good too.

This lovely flow of Reiki energy happens regardless if I am Catholic, Buddhist, Muslim or any other religion. Oh yeah, it’s important to note here that the Reiki energy also flows for those who are of no faith as well. Reiki is energy. Doing its job, completely independent of where I think the Reiki energy originates. How fabulous is that? 🙂

My belief regarding how the trillium grows, why electricity works, or indeed where the Reiki comes from is not an issue, at least for me. So, while I continue to feel that offering Reiki, accepting Reiki, simply thinking about Reiki is a spiritual experience. Reiki is absolutely not a religion. Reiki, along with all of these other wonders, exists. I see, enjoy and experience all of these things in one way or another each and every day. Reiki and all of these wonders that are made up of energy enhance my life in marvelous, wondrous ways. I am deeply grateful. That’s good enough for me.

Namaste,
Sandy